the_siobhan: (dinosaur)
D took me out to the pub last night for a couple of pints, and they were playing music as pubs tend to do.

So I have a new earworm finally.

the_siobhan: (goatse)
Before Axel decided to spice up my life by scaring the living shit out of me, I had a pretty good weekend.

A while back I had mentioned to BC that I wanted to research wine-making because one of the stories I'm writing has a vineyard as the setting. This gave her the brilliant idea that we should go on a wine tour. So bright (OK, maybe not so much with the "bright" on my part) and early (very, very early) on Saturday morning she picked me up and we drove to Niagara-on-the-Lake. There a bus picked us up and drove us around to a selection of four different wineries.

So have done a wine tour once before. I'm pretty sure that it was when I lived with BC and Ldot, so we're talking over 12 years ago. I remember it as a handful of people following somebody around who guided you around the property and talked about the wine making process before delivering you to a cool shaded barn where you could have a few glasses of wine and maybe buy a bottle or two. Every once in a while a new car would pull up and after a while, or when there were enough people who were interested, they would start another tour.

So things have changed a bit since then.

The first winery we visited was the biggest in the area and it was the only one that actually walked us into the vineyard and through the fermentation rooms. They ran the tours like we were at Disneyland. There was 23 in our group, and there were multiple groups all following in each other steps about 15 minutes apart, it was well-organized and very tightly timed. The "barrel" room where they do the tastings had over a hundred people in it.

The second winery had multiple tasting rooms, and our group was brought into one where a bartender taught us how to do proper tastings with little plates of meat and cheeses - and when our time was up we were hustled the hell out of there stuffing the last of the crackers into our cheeks because the next group was waiting. Wineries three and four were straight to the tasting and buying things.

Don't get me wrong, it was a lot of fun. We got to drink some really nice wines I wouldn't have otherwise tried out (including some very tasty and very expensive ice wines.) The people who served us were all super lovely. I guess just didn't expect it to be quite so much of an industry as it is now.

The other thing that was noteworthy about the event was the other people on the tour bus. We were picked up in two stages, most of the people getting on the bus on at the same time we did. There were about 15-18 women and one man, and the guy was so uncomfortable. He kept talking about how he was the only man there and at one point he said, (I shit you not) "Where are your husbands?"

When the bus picked up the remaining half-dozen people at a second hotel there were three men in the that group and then he made a big deal about that, greeting them very loudly and talking about how relieved he was. BC and I are watching all this, and I kept turning to her and hissing, "Straight people are so fucking weird".

Then when we were walking through the first winery the men were competing with each other over who could hold the doors. Seriously at a couple of points one door were being held open by two guys at the same time, both of them going, "I got it," to each other over and over.

Then at the end of the day on the drive back to be dropped off a bunch of the women were singing loudly along with the radio, which was tuned to some station playing top 40 songs from 20-30 years ago. Think Bryan Adams and Neil Diamond.

So, you know. An educational day even if I didn't get to ask a lot of questions about wine making. I forget sometimes how socially insulated I really am. I almost never hanging out with normal people and their ways are strange and mysterious to me.
the_siobhan: (dinosaur)
My friends are brilliant exhibit A: Sabz suggested that I solicit my friends for synonyms for clitoris.

Go Go Gadget Friendslist!
the_siobhan: (bonsai kitten)
If you are ever tempted to believe the adage that feminists lack a sense of humour, just try making fun of sports fans.

Holy. Crap.
the_siobhan: (This is my boomstick)
Me this morning, to the co-worker who is in charge of our Disaster Recovery Plan. "So your DRP almost got it's first live test today."

Her: "What do you mean?"

Me: "Somebody walked into police headquarters with a pipe bomb last night and asked if they would kindly dispose of it for him."

Her: "Oh, I heard about that on the radio this morning and I was like, ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?"

Only in Toronto, man. It just so happens that the Toronto Police Headquarters is right across the street from the building where we work and dude showed up there exactly 30 minutes after I had left for the day. Police are now reminding the public that if you have explosives in your possession you should just call them and they will pick it up for you, no really, no trouble at all.

I feel like I should be writing more stuff in here but I think about it, think about all the things I would have to update, and then I don't. So here you go, in point form.

  • Renovations are going holy shit fast. Every day when I get home from work we go downstairs to see what's been accomplished and we're all, "Oh look, walls." "Floors today, cool." The major work is supposed to be done at the end of this week, leaving only the sub-contractors to finish off the fixtures, electrical and carpet.

  • We hung plastic around the basement stairs under the false illusion that this would stop the entire house from getting coated in a thick layer of concrete and plaster dust, ha ha ha you would almost think we were completely new at this. Prepping for work every morning is a grand experiment in making it out of the house without ruining my Serious Business clothes before I even get through the door.

  • My sister is in town for a couple of weeks and this weekend is Canadian Thanksgiving, so I expect my weekend to be pretty full of family stuff. This is a good thing - I like my family - but the timing is a bit awkward given the state of my environment right now.

  • Work is crazy busy, which is the main reason for my minimal involvement in LJ. I still like it. I gotta say, working in a place where I don't feel like I'm being primed to fail, and where every mistake doesn't get treated like a major fucking disaster... It feels nice.

    It's still fucking hard to get up in the morning.

  • A couple of weeks ago D pointed me at an online discount for a shooting package at the Silverdale Gun Club so the four of us went on a family outing to go shoot off big guns. Guns are fucking loud. I knew this. I expected it. The sniper rifle was still so unbelievably honkin' loud that I yelled "MOTHERFUCKER!" right after pulling the trigger. Our good ol' boy instructor thought this was so hilarious he repeated it about 20 times. here are pictures )

  • Archery continues to be sooper fun. I was feeling kinda weaksauce because I just can't keep it up for the whole two hour time slot. Then in my last class I realized nobody shoots for the entire time. Everybody either takes lengthy breaks or quits early. It's only me, complete n00b, who thinks she shouldn't have to.

    I have been fantasizing about setting up a target in the backyard. I just need to figure out a way to do it without either putting holes in the shed or scaring the shit out of the Metrolinx staff. I'm gonna work on that.
  • the_siobhan: (dinosaur)
    I told Axel this story this morning and he couldn't stop laughing so that tells me I should post it here. You probably shouldn't read it if worms or beetles squick you out.

    Background Info #1
    The thing about having a beardie as a pet is that they like to eat meat. They like it a lot, and sometimes trying to get them to eat anything else is like having a toddler who hates vegetables. Many people feed them crickets, but I have enough experience with those to not want them in the house. There is always one that gets out and hides in your walls and chirps chirps chirps until you are losing your shit trying to find it. A field full of crickets is soothing and romantic. A single cricket is maddening.

    So we feed him worms. He gets hornworms or silkworms if we've just been to the pet supply store but they don't seem to survive long in captivity so mealworms are the staple. We always have a big plastic pot of them in the house. We put a few in his food dish and he dives in head first, scattering them everywhere. Then he crunches up as many as he wants and leaves the rest for us to scoop up and throw back into the container.

    So the thing is, every once in a while some will get away. And while mealworms won't go through metamorphosis when they're in the pot with all the other worms - something about their sisters eating them while they are in the chrysalis - they will as soon as they can get some privacy. So every once in a while we will see a big black beetle just sauntering through the house. No biggie, we scoop it up and throw it into Carlin's food bowl and he loves them. He considers them a special treat.

    Background Info #2
    I am not the tidiest of people a massive slob and sometimes when I am crawling into bed I just drop my clothes onto the floor. If I know I'm going to spend the next day getting filthy and sweaty in the basement or yard I will put my dirty clothes back on in the morning and then change into fresh clothes once I've finished up the work for the day and had a shower.

    So y'all know where this is going, right?

    I get up, I pull dirty clothes on because I'm going to be doing something that involves the basement and dust. I go downstairs to grab coffee. The phone rings, it's my mother. I'm talking to her and my leg itches or tickles or something, so I just absently scratch at it.

    I figure out what's causing the itch when it bites me.

    Cue me hopping around on one leg yelling "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" while trying to get my pants off while simultaneously trying to wedge the phone under my chin so I can use both hands. I have no idea why I didn't put down the phone - my only excuse is that I hadn't finished my coffee yet and "there is a beetle in my pants" had somehow short-circuited the rest of my thinking functions. Meanwhile my mother is hearing me shouting and crashing into things and she's yelling my name because she's convinced I'm having a stroke right there on the phone with her.

    I finally get my pants down far enough to flip the beetle out. Then I spend the next five minutes sitting on the phone with my pants around my ankles because I am trying to convince my mother not to call 911 and no the fact that I can't stop laughing is not because I have suffered irreparable brain injury.

    So the moral of the story kids, is always check your pants before you put them on in the morning. I do.

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