the_siobhan: (Sweetums)
Welp, it's been an eventful couple of days at the Gin Palace.

Axel was in a somewhat serious bicycle accident in the wee hours of Monday morning. And when I say serious I mean that he knocked himself cold and had to be picked up off the ground by an ambulence. I spent Monday morning at the hospital with him in emergency until they got him a bed, and then the afternoon running around sorting out things like a toothbrush and a change of clothes that weren't completely covered in blood. (I've said this before in my stories about the ways in which I and my fellow humans manage to maim themselves, but man it's a good thing I know ahead of time how much head injuries bleed. Even still, when I first walked into emerg and saw him - Holy Shit.)

He was groggy and out of it Monday morning; thirsty, exhausted, and in pain but mostly coherent by Monday night and bored and cheerful by Tuesday. A couple of CT scans later he is now home and largely back to normal. He has what the release papers described as a "non-mobile fracture" in his skull, which I'm guessing means that the bone is broken, but all the important squishy bits are still safely contained. He's still kinda dizzy and a little more scattered than usual but every time I talk to him he's a little improved.

Deep breath.

So now that the meat suit is safe and in one piece, he has one remaining concern. What the hell happened to his bike?

I went to the spot where the ambulence picked him up. I called the ambulence dispatch. I called the police. Nobody seems to be able to answer the question of what happens to somebody's stuff when the ambulence carts them away from an accident. I mean a wallet, they'd toss into the ambulence. A car would what, get impounded just to get it out of the way? I assume? But nobody seems to know what happens when it's a bicycle.

Just to be clear I don't have an issue AT ALL with the EMT's not dealing with it, their priority is "get dude who landed on his head to a hospital ASAP", which is exactly what it should be. But I do find the fact that nobody knows what happens afterwards to be kind of bizarre.

Whatever. We have insurance for a reason.


Apr. 16th, 2017 12:08 pm
the_siobhan: (vertical hold)
I managed to get about 1200 words pounded out between posts and conversations. Not bad.

My hangovers these days mostly consist of just being really really dizzy. I was standing in D's apartment this morning feeling something falling over and completely unable to tell if it was me or something else. As it turned out, it was his laundry basket sliding off the stool.

So it's the last day of my vacation. Apart from the being sick for the entire freakin' time, it was still a productive couple of weeks. I got to visit some lovely people, and we got a a bunch of stuff done around the house.

I think a chill day of just hanging out is in order.

Man, I really don't want to go back to work tomorrow.
the_siobhan: (NaDruWriNi)
Back when I was at University I could reliably guarantee that the second my exams were over I would get brutally overwhelmingly sick. I could feel myself getting run-down and exhausted as I got closer to the end of the semester, and I would always think, "Just, _x_ more weeks and I'll be able to rest." Then the second the semester was actually finished all the viruses I had been holding back with sheer force of will would come screaming out of the woodwork and take me out like Bambi meeting Godzilla.

And that's how I spent the last two weeks. The last couple of months at work have been unbelievable levels of busy and I have been coming home so wiped out I can barely function. Then vacation happened and I just - fell right the fuck over. I was so sick.

I'm mostly over the viral vector stage, but now I get to enjoy asthma hangover for a couple of months. Just in time to go back to work.

Bitch just can't catch a break.
the_siobhan: (goatse)
Drunk writing night suffered from a failure to launch due to a 2-day migraine. I might try to do it another time, it won't be the first time I fudged the date because the calendar one didn't work out.

I am also dealing with bronchitis for the second time in six months and I am awake half the night coughing so I feel like hammered shit. Axel got his CPAP and now I can sleep in the same bed as him but he can't sleep in the same bed with me. I am just so done with this meatsuit. Or perhaps I should say this meatsuit is just so done with me.

Budget stuff is finished and it's ugly but survivable. Unfortunately it means any plans to do pretty much anything that costs money will have to wait. Still I feel a lot better that I know where we stand, and I know that we're not going to lose the house and end up sleeping the park any time soon. We're getting a chunk of tax money back which will help. And I've been ebaying stuff with the faint hope that I might make a few bucks there, but I'm not counting on it.

I'm in my second week of training at work, which just happens to be taking place at my old work location. Man, I had forgotten how much I hate that shitting bus. In the 10 years I worked there the trip went from half an hour to 45 minutes. Now just over a year later it's well over an hour. But taxes are bad, right?

Setting the clocks back this week may have saved my fucking life.

So. Settling into the new normal.
the_siobhan: (Sweetums)
This morning I got to have yet another novel medical experience; an ultrasound of my heart. It was kind of uncomfortable because she had to push the wand reallyreally hard on my sternum and diaphragm and one lower left rib and I know I'm going to have some very flowery bruises later. The diaphragm was the only one that really got close to painful. Still, I got to watch and hear my heart beat and that was kind of neat. In movies your heartbeat sounds all bass and important, in real life it swooshes and gurgles. So that was fun.

I can't say that my vacation was very restful. I did manage to sort three boxes of "What the hell is this crap?" into a box to sell, (Mostly action figures. So now when I look at any site with sponsored ads it presents me with actions figures.) a box to scan & file, (95% emptied) and a final box full of things where I have to figure out whether it's worth spending the time to do something with it or just say fuck it and throw it away. Some of the things I put into the "needs more time to decide" box are old notebooks where I wrote story segments all old school, with pen and paper. I need to sit down and go through them and see if some of it might be worth mining for new material. One of them I identified as the old research I did once for a story about a reality show, so that's already been typed up and stored for later.

The point of all this is to get everything out of the storage locker before January when the lease is up for renewal so I don't have to pay any more for it. The boxes-all-over-living room is just the transitional stage. Or so I keep promising myself.

I also got some medical shit out of the way and did a lot of housework. Every time I take time off work I swear I'm not going to waste my time cleaning because it's undone within a week of going back. But then I hit a point where I just can't fucking deal with the squalor any more and I start cleaning anyway. Then I get really pissed off and drink heavily.

So it goes.

However I did get a couple of writing sessions in and it's been cool enough that I was able to do things like exercise and go for walks. So yay for fall.

Now if I can just get caught up at work.
the_siobhan: (Sweetums)
I am on Vacation in two days, and it's almost the end of the fiscal year, and I am in training in November and so I am pulling my hair out trying to get everything done before I leave.

One of the Leads here, (the one of raccoon story fame) has taken to walking around the floor whispering "Fire! Fire" just loudly enough for me to hear it as he passes by my desk. So apparently I'm not the only one feeling the pressure.

In other news, Axel is getting a CPAP machine. I checked, and my insurance will pay for it. Hallelujah. I know they also make noise, but I'm hoping it will be the kind of white noise produced by the humidifier or the fans, because I can sleep through those.

In the meantime, I spend most nights in D's room. Which is fine, there's nothing wrong with D's room. (And being in the basement it's often cooler in the summer.) But it's not my room so I don't feel comfortable rearranging things to suit myself.

Wednesday's are usually date night, so last night I got to sleep in my own bed. Except there is some combination of windows closed/windows open in the house that occasionally causes the living room doors to flex and tug when it gets windy outside. So that was happening last night and it kept randomly waking me up because it sounds just like somebody opening the door[1]. And then a particularly heavy gust finally did make the doors pop open, and the cats came padding up the stairs - of course they did, because they aren't allowed upstairs normally and that makes it The Most Interesting Place To Be Ever - then they woke me up, because they are alive things moving around where I don't expect them to be[2].

Fortunately they were complete gentlemen - I'm pretty sure only because they knew they weren't supposed to be there, so they were trying not to get thrown out. I woke up with both of them sitting and staring at me, looking very demure.

So TL;DR version, I got way less sleep than I am really happy with. I can't even tell you how much I am looking forward to being able to sleep in for a few days. (when I'm not getting up early for doctor's appointments, fuck me.)

[1]That wouldn't even wake me up on a night when people are home, but because I knew I was alone in the house I woke up every single time.
[2]They don't wake me in D's room, because cats in the room is normal there.
the_siobhan: (goatse)
It's actually under 30 degrees today and IT'S COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL and I can breeeeeeeeeeaaaaath and it's So. Awesome. Last week it was so hot even the breezes felt like standing downwind of a forest fire. (And it's fucking September, we are supposed to be done with this shit, what the fuck.) And so of course the air conditioner for our entire building broke and everybody spent two days sucking on popsicles and fanning themselves with manilla folders.

So to say I am happy to see the retreating asshole of this summer is putting things rather mildly.

Meatsuit update: I got the results of having the thing in my face and it turns out I am not a good candidate for the surgery because I don't swallow well.[1] So that settles that, at least until they come up with a good artificial valve. Which apparently is in the works.

So since that's settled, I can now deal with the next medical bullshit on the list, which is related to the fact that my lack of oxygen for the last several months led me to me inflicting some unwise inhaler abuse on myself. And that triggered some mild tachycardia. So now my doctor's all up in my case about getting my asthma "managed". Which ok, yay? But she acted like she doesn't understand why I haven't done something about it before now, and I'm like, hey lady, I have been complaining about this for a couple of decades now, including asking for a referral to an asthma clinic and it got me exactly nowhere. It's not like visiting doctors is number one on my list of really fun things to take time off work for. So anyway, now I have to go for a bunch more tests.

Also as a part of this I am wearing a heart monitor for a couple of days. It itches and I keep thwapping the "event" button by accident. And I can't shower until it's off so thank everything listening I didn't decide to do this when the air con was broken.

It says on the instructions that I shouldn't use a computer while I'm wearing it. I pointed that out to the technician and said, so that's pretty much my entire job? But she didn't seem too concerned, so whatever.

I find myself saying, "whatever" an awful lot lately.

I feel incredibly boring lately. Maybe now the temperature is getting down to less hell-like levels I'll find the energy to actually do things.

[1] Hurhurhur
the_siobhan: (flying monkeys)
So as you know Bob, the weekend before last I dumped a pint of beer over my laptop. And last weekend, I followed up by doing something to my back. I have no idea what, mind you. I just know that I woke up so seized up that I had to crawl to shower on my hands and knees and run hot water over my lower back for 10 minutes before I could bend it enough to stand up.

So that kinda put an oar into my weekend plans.

A chiropractor visit and much stretching later, I'm almost back to normal. However this was also the week I was scheduled to have my stomach monitored. So this is how I showed up to work on Tuesday morning.

cut for pic )

I only had to wear it for 24 hours, but boy howdy was I sick of the fucking thing by the I showed up to have it removed. Apparently my swallowing muscles are unimpaired because every time I ate something the cord pulled painfully on my nose. So that was fun. On the plus side I got to gross out my co-workers.

Today is another beer-and-laptops session. So now hopefully I can make it through the entire weekend without breaking anything.
the_siobhan: (dinosaur)
Today's adventure in medical technology; taking sips of water while a tube was fed through my nose and into my stomach. The tube is pressure sensitive and measures the strength of the muscles I use to swallow.

It was uncomfortable rather than painful. And thanfully only took about 10 minutes, start to finish. Then about an hour ago the anaesthetic that she shoved up my nose all dissolved and ran down the back of my throat, and that was just gross.

Next week I go back for the pH test.


When I left the house this morning, my laptop was still sitting in a plastic bag full of rice.

I'm really hoping that a good clean will rescue it. Wish me luck, because I really don't have the money to dump into a new one right now.
the_siobhan: (on fire)
Fuck summer. Seriously. I am so fucking done with not being able to breath. I've been dealing with constant dizziness and nausea for weeks now because of the shitting smog and I am so tired of it. My chiropractor put my ribs back in on Friday[1] and by Sunday I could feel that one of them is out again.

I managed to get my stupid ass trapped outside when Portugal won some sportsball thing yesterday. (I live in a Portuguese/Brazilian neighbourhood.) So of course the streetcars couldn't get through the mess and I had to walk home. I don't mind that people want to celebrate, but why do they have to do it in their cars? Because of course everybody was idling in the traffic jam, and I could feel the waves of heat coming off the vehicles. I took back alleys for as much of the way as I could, but I was still seeing spots floating in my vision by the time I stumbled in the door.

I can't wait until it gets cold again. I love the days in February when all the crap just crystalizes out of the air and you can see for a million miles. That's what I want.

All my partners want to move some place warm when we retire. Fuck that, they can come visit me in Siberia.

[1] Four this time. Which means I've stretched the cartilage on another one[2]. Yay.
[2] Asthmatics tend towards overdeveloped muscles around our rib cages from struggling to breath. So much so that "barrel-chest" used to be a defining feature of people who grew up with childhood asthma. It's less of a thing now that the drugs are better, but it's still not unheard of for asthmatics to dislocate upper ribs when we cough.

not again

Jul. 6th, 2016 04:52 pm
the_siobhan: (BOOM)
Pleeeease don't let me be getting sick again. I still have a dislocated rib from the last one!
the_siobhan: (hand over the pig and nobody gets hurt)
I was breathing so much better on Monday that I was able to make it through my entire work shift without using my inhaler once. Then I decided it would be a good idea to walk to where I was meeting BC. In downtown Toronto. At rush hour.

Ha ha ha I'm a fucking idiot. Pretty sure I dislocated a rib.


Work is finally starting to calm down in the wake of the Brexit vote. One of the managers brought up the prospect of what the markets are going to do if Trump gets elected in the US. I told them they better start hiring extra staff now, because holy shit.


I got my first grey hair when I was still in my teens. Since that time I've been shaving it, teasing it, mohawking it, and spiking it, and always in some colour that caused small children to point and pollinators to follow me down the street. The last time I shaved my head was about a year ago and I've been just letting it grow out ever since.

When it was at the peach-fuzz stage I was actually worried that it was going thin on me, but it turned out that the hair on my crown is now so white as to be transparent - I was actually just seeing my scalp through my hair. After a year of growth it's obvious I had nothing to be concerned about; it's a rediculous unruly mop. It's also gone curly since it went grey - something that I have never had before and so I have no idea how to take care of it. So right now I'm just letting it do whatever it wants, which mostly appears to be frizz and cowlicks. I keep thinking gravity has got to kick in at some point but as is typical of my nemesis, it's being entirely uncooperative.


Tomorrow is Canada Day, which I will no doubt spend cleaning. Saturday is birthday party BBQ. Sunday is post-party clean-up and/or hangover day. So Monday is likely the first day I will be able to get my teeth properly into NaNoWriMo.

I've been trying to pursuade people to sign up on the site just because I figure it will be easier to post one notice of when & where I'm going to be instead of texting everybody - except the site is so poorly designed as to be a pain in the ass to navigate. I may actually be forced to use FaceBook. Bah.

Or maybe I'll set up a mailing list. Man, talk about old-school.
the_siobhan: (save hockey)
The lurgy that was stuffing up my ears on the plane has now settled in for nice long haul in my chest and I know from long experience that it will be there for at least the next three months. I went to the walk-in and have a stack of inhalers which are kinda helping but not very much. It doesn't help that the city is now firmly into smog season, so even if the chest clears up I won't be able to take a deep breath until September anyway.

On the plus side, hot flashes seem to be on their way out, thank all the fucks for good timing. This was round 3 and it was the worst so far. The first round lasted about four months and they were intense, but infrequent. Then I got about four months off. Then they came back for another four months, happening every hour or so but being pretty mild. Then they stopped again for a while. This last batch, holy shitballs. It was like standing in front of a blast furnace over a dozen times a day, complete with dizziness and sweats. Bloody brutal. Please do not come back, thanks.

You know, one of the things that I'm finding really fascinating about menopause is how fast my skin is changing. I can already see the millimetre-wide waves where the underlying connective tissue has given it up on the backs of my hands. Man, I am going to be a seriously wrinkly old lady. I've been thinking about asking if any of my amateur photographer friends have equipment that can take very close-up pictures of my skin just because I find the texture so fascinating.

Sick has meant I'm behind on the bow-making, so I need to get caught up on that before the next class. Writing has been on hiatus for June, both because of sick and busy. In July I'm still planning on doing the NaNoWriMo summer camp (My user name is the_siobhan if you're on there and want to hang out.) So you should be getting lots of posts from me because I'll be procrastinating on my laptop. Mostly bitching about writer's block, I suspect.

I need a vacation. Like a long one. For a year. In the meantime, I guess I'll keep buying lottery tickets.
the_siobhan: (Brighter Blessed Than Thee)
Massive pet peeve #45678

People who jump in to say they'll be in charge of something and then DON'T FUCKING DO IT.

I'm on a committee with somebody who says she'll do All The Things because it's her department. Which is technically true, but for fuck sake, learn to delegate if you're actually too busy. I sent her no fewer than four emails asking for an update because people keep coming to me asking for info and don't have any. Finally I find out that not only has she done none of the stuff on the list, she has to ask me what was on the fucking list. Why the shit didn't she just let me get on with it in the first place? It's been SIX FUCKING WEEKS WOMAN!


Yesterday Windows decided I am updating to 10 whether I like it or not - it shut off all my programs and started installing without my permission, right when I was in the middle of doing something. I had to reboot to interrupt it.

This morning there is a big install window planted in the middle of my screen that can't be closed, even with task manager. I can sorta slide it off to the side so I can work around it, but for shit sake. I fucking hate Windows.


Today I got up an hour early to haul ass all the way across town to talk to the specialist who does my endoscopes. So of course there was a fire on the TTC .

HOWEVER. The appointment did result in the one piece of good news I got today. Apparently they can now fix a lazy esophageal valve with laproscopic surgery. There's a bunch of tests they have to do to make sure I'm a good candidate for it - most of which involve tubes down my throat, and some of which sound kind of alarming. But if they can do the surgery then I can give up the stomach meds. And it will mean no more waking up in the middle of the night with digestive acids in my sinuses.


This weekend is the monthly scheduled "pay all the bills & balance the bank accounts" session. I expect tears.
the_siobhan: (dinosaur)
I really don't have a lot to talk about in here these days. Not really because there isn't stuff going on, but most of it isn't really mine to talk about, and the bigger world stuff depresses me. The number of people who sleep indoors and who think we shouldn't be helping people who are homeless and freezing just make me tired.

Meanwhile my sister is on a Greek Island in the Mediterranean fishing people out of the water because she's a badass. (That's a semi-secret btw, so don't tell my mom. She worries.)


In the continuing saga of "You're old now, so we want to keep poking at you with things", my doctor wants me to get a bunch of tests. I could do it at her clinic, but her clinic is on the opposite side of town from where I live. That worked out fine when I could stay over at D's place but it's a pain in the ass now, so I've been trying to find a place downtown that will do all the tests on my lunch hour.

Holy shit, what a mess.

Nobody answers their phone. Nobody returns messages either, although they will leave snarky recordings about please don't leave multiple messages. Well fuck you pal, call people back and maybe that won't happen so often.

I work in the centre of the highest concentration of hospitals in Canada. I'm not shitting you, I can see three through the window and the only reason I can't see more is because there's a hospital in the way. I finally just walked to the closest one and walked around asking people questions until I found the right room and I was able to make an appointment. But what do people do when they don't work where that's an option?


I went to some work event a couple of days ago that just happened to take place in the restaurant where we scheduled the group dinner for Convergence IV. It's close enough that I could walk there so I started hiking down Bay St. And as I traveled along the crowds started getting thicker and heavier until I was being practically carried along by this mass of humanity.

It was weird and more and more people kept joining the crowd. I couldn't figure out what the hell was going on. Is there a sporting event happening at the AC Centre? Or a big concert? I finally got my answer because I couldn't actually get out of the crowd when I got to my destination and they pulled me right into Union Station. That's when it clicked. People who work in the financial district - you know, the part of the economy that makes money - can't afford to live in Toronto. They were all bankers headed home on the train.

I had to leave the station through another set of doors and walk back up the street to get to the restaurant. Now I can see I know what a salmon goes through when it swims upstream to spawn. Except my payoff was a lot less exciting.


Tomorrow's Friday. Finally. Why do the short weeks always feel so long?
the_siobhan: (vertical hold)
I am so sick. Sooooo sick. I think a quarter of my brain has been replaced by mucus. I have spent the last five days moping around being pathetic while the boys bring me hot toddies and pet my hair and say, "There, there" while I whimper.


Remember all those boxes and boxes of photos that I scanned? I do.

When my sister Dee was in town last October our father told her she had to clear her stuff out of his basement where she had been storing it, so she spent part of her visit going through boxes. Several of those boxes were full of, you guessed it, photographs.

She spent a couple of days sorting through them to figure out which ones she wanted to keep and then I offered to do the scanning so that she could actually spend some of her visit time on actually visiting. I am now about halfway through the box, on scan number (checks folder) 978, and I am beginning to regret my offer.

Actually, I lie. It's been kind of fun going through them and seeing some of the happy memories. Not to mention a few embarrassing ones. Holy crap 80s hair.

I have also been entertaining myself hugely by creating folders on her file share site with names like "Regrettable Mustache Choices" (later renamed to "Moves Like Jack Layton"), "Meringues on Parade" (for wedding photos), "I Honestly Don't Remember That Much Beige" and "Voted Best Album By Country Music Magazine."

What can I say. I am full of snot and easily entertained.


I think I've decided what I'm going to do during the NaNoWriMo Summer Camp. I'm going to pick up the concept from my 2009/2010 drunk writing and see if I can turn it into an actual story.

I have no doubt there will be much weeping and gnashing of teeth when I'm actually sitting at the computer trying to chew my way through my writer's block by sheer force of will. But right now I'm really looking forward to it.
the_siobhan: (limp)
Today I had occasion to add the word "suckage" to my auto-correct.
the_siobhan: (on fire)
It's been getting - increasingly loud in here. I'm fighting it, but.. yeah. Anyway, it's to the point that I'm giving serious consideration to going back on meds for a while. (And I hate the meds, so you know it must be bad.)

I opened my feed this morning and there are three posts in a row from people talking about needing to start or re-up their crazy pills.

Phase of the moon? Something in the water? Or just the soul-crushing impact of living in a capitalist society. You decide.
the_siobhan: (shock and awe)
In honour of winter finally arriving in Toronto, D and I went to the surplus store near my work and got me a ridiculously massive parka. It is now officially the warmest thing I have ever worn and it's big enough to wear another coat underneath it if I really want to. The first day I wore it I bounced around to everybody I knew and told them it was warmer than my house.

On Friday Axel took me to MEC and I got some winter hiking boots. Given last week's incident with the stationary bike, it's pretty obvious my vertigo is never going to go completely away. And after a dozen years it's become equally obvious that nothing I do will ever shame my neighbours into cleaning the ice off their sidewalks, so the combat boots just do not cut it any more. I wore the new boots for the first time yesterday while the snow was belting down and They. Are. Awesome. There is a tiny little hill between my house and the streetcar stop that is that bane of my existence and I stormed it like it was the Bastille.

This is what it takes to get me excited about life these days. Not falling down. Mind you, after four years or whatevertimeit'sbeen, falling down can get to be really tedious.

Archery is one of those things that is supposed to require good balance, which probably explains why I suck at it so badly. (OK, not that badly. But still. I AM NOT HAWKEYE YET and that's a completely unreasonable situation in my mind.) I am still in love with it and I have buying my own gear on my short-list, but man. I did not pick a cheap hobby.

There is supposed to be a bow-making class coming up in the next couple of months, which I have signed up for. I'll post a picture when it's finished.
the_siobhan: (dinosaur)
Who has two thumbs and managed to fall off a stationary bike?


the_siobhan: It means, "to rot" (Default)

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