if I were a rhetorical question, I would look like this

[the_siobhan]

Is it possible for somebody who is pro-life and somebody who is pro-choice to be friends?

Is it simply a matter of difference of opinion? Or is it more than that? Is there an underlying difference in values that makes it impossible to be friends?

What do you think?


What I'm listening to right this second: Stromkern

Comments

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

I will also always wish that they hadn't had to experience it
Unplanned pregnancy, no matter the outcome, is a tough thing!
No doubt about that. That's not really what I'm talking about when I talk about the "I'm pro-choice but..." camp. To me saying "I'd never do it though" is expressing disapproval.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

I see what you mean now.

My POV is that I don't think the "but" always or necessarily expresses/means disapproval. There are a lot of things I wouldn't do that I don't disapprove of other people doing.

[medakse.livejournal.com]

My POV is that I don't think the "but" always or necessarily expresses/means disapproval. There are a lot of things I wouldn't do that I don't disapprove of other people doing.

I think it gets tricky, too, in that there has been such a stigma of pain, shame, consequences, and moral quagmire surrounding the idea of abortion.
Women who have abortions are "bad." Women who have abortions may "never have another baby." Women who have abortions are "sluts" or "welfare mothers"[1] or "will regret it."

I feel sometimes that the but means what you say, but (ha!) esp. in the case of "I've never had an abortion but..." as in "I've never lost someone close to me but..."
The "but" becomes empathic.
But (again, ha!) sometimes people do use it to create a sense of superiority. "*I* would never have an abortion but..."
For me, I've never had an abortion, but I can't say I won't ever have one. Because I *don't* know what life will bring, and I *don't* know if it would be necessary at some point down the road.

[1] and then those same people stand, in shock, when they realize that the highest percentages of abortions in the US come from white single mothers in their 20s. *gasp!*[2]
[2] And I don't know if this statistic is still valid, but as of five years ago, the highest percentage of "welfare mothers" in the US were white single mothers in their 20s. *double gasp!*

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

I feel sometimes that the but means what you say, but (ha!) esp. in the case of "I've never had an abortion but..." as in "I've never lost someone close to me but..."
The "but" becomes empathic.
But (again, ha!) sometimes people do use it to create a sense of superiority. "*I* would never have an abortion but..."

Exactly. Whether or not the "but" is empathic or disapproving depends entirely on the words that come after the "but". That's why I try very hard not to throw up a mental barrier as soon as I hear the word "but" in this and similar contexts.