What happened in your LJ was (to me) a straight up fight. And although I realize it must have been very unpleasant for you to have it happening in your space, at the end of it everybody knew where they stood and the people who can't be friends don't have to make any pretenses about it
I think we're talking about the same thing, but we're approaching it from different angles.
I was referring to overt bad behaviour and you're referring to covert bad behaviour.
Bad behaviour is bad behaviour is bad behaviour. Being overt doesn't make it any more acceptable in my eyes, just easier to confront and deal with. People will be rude and nasty online in a way they would probably never dare to do in public. I've seen this dynamic all over the Internet - on Usenet, discussion forums, LJ, everywhere.
Look at Adam's recent attack on Jackie. When he's at a social event with her, he doesn't say a word to her, but put him in front of a keyboard and he suddenly thinks it's OK to spew slander and lies.
I find it very odd that everybody gets really upset with conflict that happens out in the open - like the one that carried out in your LJ - and calls it drama.
I called it drama because the blow-up in my journal was not just about the fact that someone left a stupid comment that pissed people off. Tensions were already high around the whole issue of parenthood and children due to conversations that were taking place elsewhere on LJ. The comment in my LJ seems to have been the back-breaking straw for a lot of people, so the drama all spilled over into my journal and I ended up being judged negatively because of it. Someone I thought I was close to unfriended me over it. My girlfriend and I ended up fighting for two days because of it.
So basically, everyone trekked into my journal with their grievances, dumped them there, and left me to clean up the mess.
Using childfree as an example was probably a bad idea. I think it muddied my point.
I really really wish there was a way to talk openly about the choice to be childfree and the pressures that come with that choice without pissing people off.
Right now, the only people I can talk to are other people who've made the same choice. Preaching to the choir feels good but doesn't encourage progress.
no subject
I think we're talking about the same thing, but we're approaching it from different angles.
I was referring to overt bad behaviour and you're referring to covert bad behaviour.
Bad behaviour is bad behaviour is bad behaviour. Being overt doesn't make it any more acceptable in my eyes, just easier to confront and deal with. People will be rude and nasty online in a way they would probably never dare to do in public. I've seen this dynamic all over the Internet - on Usenet, discussion forums, LJ, everywhere.
Look at Adam's recent attack on Jackie. When he's at a social event with her, he doesn't say a word to her, but put him in front of a keyboard and he suddenly thinks it's OK to spew slander and lies.
I find it very odd that everybody gets really upset with conflict that happens out in the open - like the one that carried out in your LJ - and calls it drama.
I called it drama because the blow-up in my journal was not just about the fact that someone left a stupid comment that pissed people off. Tensions were already high around the whole issue of parenthood and children due to conversations that were taking place elsewhere on LJ. The comment in my LJ seems to have been the back-breaking straw for a lot of people, so the drama all spilled over into my journal and I ended up being judged negatively because of it. Someone I thought I was close to unfriended me over it. My girlfriend and I ended up fighting for two days because of it.
So basically, everyone trekked into my journal with their grievances, dumped them there, and left me to clean up the mess.
Using childfree as an example was probably a bad idea. I think it muddied my point.
I really really wish there was a way to talk openly about the choice to be childfree and the pressures that come with that choice without pissing people off.
Right now, the only people I can talk to are other people who've made the same choice. Preaching to the choir feels good but doesn't encourage progress.