4. They have a problem with you but don't tell you about it until months or years after the fact, during which time they have been harbouring intense resentment against you.
I've a few people pull this on me. Each time I got an assload of grievances dumped in my lap with a large helping of "I've been miserable for the past X months/years and it's all your fault!" When I was younger, I would go to great lengths to try to fix things with no great success. Now, my reaction tends to be that I can't fix a problem if I don't know it exists. If you chose not to tell me, I won't be held responsible for that. I'll apologize for past wrongs up to a point, but there's only so much I can do in regards to things that happened months ago.
2. They don't tell you but they tell everybody else.
This bothers me to lesser or greater degrees depending on the person or the circumstances. Casual friends and acquaintances who do this may irk me, and as a result, they're unlikely to become more than acquaintances.
It bothers me a lot more when close friends do this because I figure they should, eventually, be talking to me about it. I do allow that it's sometimes necessary and useful to vent to/bounce ideas off of other people before approaching a friend about a problem. I do that to get a reality check lest I blow shit way out of proportion.
What I cannot stand is people actively lying about me, spreading other people's lies about me, or bitching about aspects of my personality/interests/life choices that are none of their business. That's a great way to lose my respect ASAP.
no subject
I've a few people pull this on me. Each time I got an assload of grievances dumped in my lap with a large helping of "I've been miserable for the past X months/years and it's all your fault!" When I was younger, I would go to great lengths to try to fix things with no great success. Now, my reaction tends to be that I can't fix a problem if I don't know it exists. If you chose not to tell me, I won't be held responsible for that. I'll apologize for past wrongs up to a point, but there's only so much I can do in regards to things that happened months ago.
2. They don't tell you but they tell everybody else.
This bothers me to lesser or greater degrees depending on the person or the circumstances. Casual friends and acquaintances who do this may irk me, and as a result, they're unlikely to become more than acquaintances.
It bothers me a lot more when close friends do this because I figure they should, eventually, be talking to me about it. I do allow that it's sometimes necessary and useful to vent to/bounce ideas off of other people before approaching a friend about a problem. I do that to get a reality check lest I blow shit way out of proportion.
What I cannot stand is people actively lying about me, spreading other people's lies about me, or bitching about aspects of my personality/interests/life choices that are none of their business. That's a great way to lose my respect ASAP.