the_siobhan | Scenes from the gender wars: part I

In a post I made a couple of weeks ago, there was a casual reference to a friend who got hassled for breastfeeding in public.

Well, there's more to the story than that. And it hasn't ended yet.

First of all, some background info. For those who don't know, women have the right to be topless in Ontario. It's considered a discrimination issue, if men can show their nipples in public then it is discriminatory to prevent women from doing the same thing. I think the wording of the original court decision contained some language about it not being done with obvious sexual intent but I'll have to look that up later.

On top of that there is specific language in the Ontario Human Rights Code about breastfeeding itself. The actual text contains the following paragraph;

"You have rights as a nursing mother. For example, you have the right to breastfeed a child in a public area. No one should prevent you from nursing your child simply because you are in a public area. They should not ask you to "cover up", disturb you, or ask you to move to another area that is more "discreet"."

Seems pretty straightforward right? So when E was approached at a family event while trying to feed her daughter (12 days old at the time and having a little trouble getting the hang of this nursing thing) and pressured to move elsewhere, she refused. Instead she fired off an email to the contact address of the organization asking for an apology and some assurance that volunteers would be educated as to the contents of the Code.

It should have ended there. Instead turns out that the person in question is the organizer of the "family" events and she refuses to admit that she did anything wrong. So far she has published E's email to a public yahoogroups list, I assume looking for backup from the members. She has posted her breastfeeding policy for the events in organization's newsletter. She has posted a public archive of all the emails and public messages on the groups website. She has attempted to bully my friend, misrepresented what happened and flat-out refused to back down. Most of the details of who did/said what/when/to who are written about here and here.

All to avoid having to make one lousy apology.

So now the city counseller for the riding has gotten involved, the city has made a statement about their policy on breastfeeding, the city department of Parks has been contacted and there may very well be a Human Rights Case. And hundreds of women (and a few men) have offered to come to the park and whip their shirts off in a show of support.

Personally I have huge amounts of admiration for E, who is sticking up for herself and her principles in spite of the fact that she needs all this stress like she needs a hole in her head. And absolutely amazed that this Mason person can't see past her own ego long enough to realize that she fucked up.

Oh yeah, and the patrionizing way Mason writes about "the public space quilt" makes me want to yak.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The City of Toronto and Councillor Giambrone's Office have also been made aware of my complaint.

that's pretty heavy hitting in my book. i would have not involved the city at that original stage. (after the newsletter, i would have, but maybe that wouldn't have happened. hard to say now.)

i am sorry E's had to deal with so many problems during her pregnancy, but i don't think ms. mason should have to bear the brunt of that. note that i think she was entirely out of line with her request; i just also think that E brought a howitzer to bear in response.

i am sorry E's had to deal with so many problems during her pregnancy, but i don't think ms. mason should have to bear the brunt of that.

I don't think Mason is bearing the brunt of anything. Mason's request was illegal, pure and simple. She had no business making that request, and I'd wager a lot of money that E is not the first nursing mother she's harassed.

note that i think she was entirely out of line with her request; i just also think that E brought a howitzer to bear in response.

I am not E, but I believe her intent was to convey to the park organizers that she expected them to take her complaint and her requests seriously. Far too many women, esp. pregnant and post-partum, get brushed off as "crazy" or "hysterical", which is an adjective Ms. Mason was more than happy to throw around.

see, i come from the point of view where heavy threats make me take somebody less seriously than i would a simple straightforward complaint. i think E was doing just fine until i came to that sentence i quoted; she made it clear that she knew her rights, and she sounded perfectly reasonable about it. if i had been the original offender, that would have impressed me, and quite possibly made me rethink my original position. but by involving the city, i might feel wronged, as if i had not been given a chance to explain myself. that's just me, though -- i try to put myself into a situation when analyzing it. from my experience conflict resolution is easier if one doesn't push a person to the wall right away.

*shrug*. i don't blame E in the least; i've already said that i thought mason was out of line, but you asked what i considered threatening, and there you are.

as to your bet, i would think that with the amount of publicity this has been getting, said nursing mothers would by now have come out of the woodwork. maybe it was just a single instance of a basically decent if somewhat prudish person overreacting. i'm not ready to crucify her for that -- but i damn well think she should apologize, issue a retraction to her "rules for breastfeeding mothers", and work on her attitude about what's "decent".

Scenes from the gender wars: part I

Re: Scenes from the gender wars: part I

Re: Scenes from the gender wars: part I

Re: Scenes from the gender wars: part I