lookin' for a sign of life

[the_siobhan]

Woke up with a scratchy throat this morning. Could be allergies, the cats have been all over me, and I've been going down to the basement on the regular to take pictures for the contractor. (It rained heavily yesterday, so I've been monitoring the waterproofing situation.)

Housemates positive showed up 48 hours after symptoms so I'll start testing tomorrow.

***

Yesterday fucking sucked, to put it bluntly.

I got a call from Old Man's brother on Sunday saying there was something wrong with his bed. He has a hospital bed with an inflatable mattress that regulates air pressure for people who are at risk of bed sores. It cost a couple of grand second-hand.

Two seconds after I hang up the residence manager calls me. There's a problem with the bed? No no, the bed's fine, but your step-father is delirious and not responding to questions so we are sending him to the hospital.

Well the hospital sent him home yesterday and I get a call from the PSW - the bed is not fine - she sent me a photo and it looks like somebody yanked one of the electrical cords out of the motor casing. Probably with a broom or a vaccuum. And fucking left it that way, did not call me, nothing. So his mattress is completely deflated. He has nowhere to sleep.

And my brain just went offline.

It probably lasted a minute but it felt like hours. I just could not think. Everything was snow. Static. Leetle birdies twittering in a circle around my bucket.

A form of panic attack? I guess?

Then I snapped out of it, formulated a plan, called about twenty equipment rental places until I found one that had a mattress in stock, arranged and paid for the rental, called my sister and arranged for her to drop off an inflatable camping mattress just to get him through the night, called the PSW to give her an update with times and called the residence to advise them of the delivery. Once I'm out of quarantine I'll bring the motor back here and see if I can open it up and re-attach the wires. I will take photos to show to the residence manager, because this Will Not Happen Again.

So like no harm done by the brain freeze but it freaked me the fuck out. And I guess today I'm dealing with the resulting adrenaline crash, because I've burst into tears twice already so far today. Over shit like... music videos and nonsense.

***

The good news is the waterproofing is holding. So that means the contractor can close up the walls and finish up.

Comments

[dissectionist]

I’ve had that happen. If it’s the same thing that happens to me, it’s a brief (in my case and, it sounds like, yours) but very intense dissociation; the signals just go blank. When it happens to me, I know my psyche is under far more stress than it’s consciously letting me experience. I’ve dealt with it in the past by immediately stepping up the activities that help calm the vagus nerve and nervous system (regulated slow breathing with a longer exhale than inhale for 20-60 mins a day, yoga).

I have an app now called Pranayama where I can set a timer for ten-minute increments and then it plays a tone to indicate how I should breathe (inhale sounds different than exhale). It makes it easy to just set the app to run while I do other things like reading or browsing the internet, and I follow the breathing tones unconsciously by this point. I can easily do an hour of the deep breathing a day (usually I do two half-hours, but at first I could only do ten minutes at a time) while doing other life stuff.

[china_shop]

*hugs and hugs and all crossed fingers that the scratchy throat is just a bodies-being-weird thing*

Aargh, the mattress! It's so frustrating when people break things and don't take responsibility!!

[sylvanwitch]

More and more the older I get, I have these moments when I'm struck by just how fucking awful the human condition is, and I don't mean, like, war and famine and shit, though those things are horrific. I mean, like, we're just...not equipped for the constant accretion of low-level human indignities that living an average life entails? And I think sometimes, at least for me, there are moments when some part of my brain I'm not actively monitoring goes into lockdown mode, as if this concept of the horror, the horror were a T-Rex and I've just seen the vibrations in the cup of water in the car cupholder.

I don't know...I'm not sleeping well with the time change, so I could be babbling total noise at you.

All this is to say that I know you don't need my permission to feel the way you're feeling, but I hope you know that you're not alone in having strangeness? *hugs* if you'd like them, no pressure.

[houseof9cats]

OMG FFS. The poor old man. O_O

Continuing to use ENOVID, etc. during infection can reduce impacts.

Also Neti Pot apparently.

Hopefully it's just the cats.

Crying seems like the correct response here.

:/

[kest]

A friend of mine was telling me that brain fog is her FIRST covid symptom (she's had it three times). So. Am hoping you don't have the covid, but if you do you can put all that shit down as a symptom. It's a weird fucking disease. That bed shit is aggravating as fuck though, so I don't blame your brain if it is totally fine, just could not compute.

[fidget]

Hi! I'm giving you a wave, and I hope you're ok.

[kathleen_dailey]

it looks like somebody yanked one of the electrical cords out of the motor casing. Probably with a broom or a vaccuum. And fucking left it that way, did not call me, nothing

This is the kind of thing that drives me to raging and crying madness. Why can't people (1) SEE what's happening in front of them, and because of their own action, and (2) take a single, simple STEP to fix it, or find someone who can? Especially when it involves a crucial need of a resident who is, essentially, at the mercy of everyone and everything around him?

It's so good that your stepdad has you to act compassionately and responsibly on his behalf, because one has to wonder if anyone at the residence is doing the same. No wonder you had a temporary shutdown.

[dissectionist]

I’d suspect it’s a low-level janitor that accidentally yanked it, and they were scared for their job if they drew anyone’s attention to it. So they left under the assumption that someone else would notice in time and deal with it, nobody would get hurt, and they wouldn’t risk losing their ability to pay rent.

With stuff like this, I tend to assume the problem is the inhumanity of how capitalism punishes people hard for mistakes, and so people are understandably frightened of coming forward. That feels a little better than choosing to believe that most people are uncaring assholes who can’t be bothered to do the slightest thing for others.

[elusis]

Came here to say this, so thanks.

[greylock]

Was a cleaner, did exactly this sort of thing.

[greylock]

she sent me a photo and it looks like somebody yanked one of the electrical cords out of the motor casing.

Look, easy to do by accident and not notice (if we are being charitable), and it sounds like if it's just electrics easily fixable. Maybe get a sparky in though. Quicker and cheaper, and the right one might even put in some cord protections? Or even an extension might work. Depending on the setting.

Source: was a cleaner, have cats.


OTOH, short term bed sores aren't going to be an issue, and any old mattress will do for a stop-gap, and the facility can do what they used to do before tech.


A form of panic attack? I guess?

A new one on me, but I can see it as cognitive overload.

You've got this though.

[cornerofmadness]

Care homes seem to be just awful in all countries, jesus. Sorry to hear it