the_siobhan | cranky pants

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cranky pants

I had a rant at somebody at a party a while ago about people who show up with riding crops and or floggers and playfully "whip" people at parties.

I expect to see that stuff at play parties or at kink-themed clubs. Hell, I even enjoy it. But at house parties it just pisses me off. I have this idea that the "consensual" part should also apply to one's potential audience to some degree.

Maybe I'm getting more conservative as I get older. Or maybe just crankier.

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The women I work with all have this routine whenever they are leaving the bathroom. They grab a paper towel to open the door, stick a foot out to hold the door open and then toss the paper towel into an adjacent garbage bin.

I know what they're doing - they are trying to avoid picking up germs from those nasty people who don't wash their hands after they use the toilet. But I still think it's funny that they are only that fastidious when it comes to the bathroom door. They think nothing of touching the fridge door, or kitchen faucets, or the security doors or the elevator buttons.

It always makes me visualize the scene from Dead Like Me where the receptionist is licking the telephone receiver.

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Want coffee.

With a shot of something in it.

Like, a lot.

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The women I work with all have this routine whenever they are leaving the bathroom. They grab a paper towel to open the door, stick a foot out to hold the door open and then toss the paper towel into an adjacent garbage bin.

I know what they're doing - they are trying to avoid picking up germs from those nasty people who don't wash their hands after they use the toilet. But I still think it's funny that they are only that fastidious when it comes to the bathroom door. They think nothing of touching the fridge door, or kitchen faucets, or the security doors or the elevator buttons.

Exactly - there is a reason that there has been research into a Dirt Vaccine.

That and overly safe play structures... two things that make me nuts. Then again I play an unfortunate role in the later, given my occupation.

One of my bosses at the Bristol Children's Hospital was involved in the UK study that proved that dirt is good for kids. (It's been independently shown in quite a few studies now). I loved to point this out to my mother, who still thinks Science Is Wrong.

"I had a rant at somebody at a party a while ago about people who show up with riding crops and or floggers and playfully "whip" people at parties.
(...)I have this idea that the "consensual" part should also apply to one's potential audience to some degree."

I agree for the block. We've got one a fellow like that around here. Finds a way to inject his kinks into *EVERY* conversation, even when the crop or other device-best-left-to-private-time isn't in view.

Nah, you're justified to be pissed off.

See, it's like this: When kink is part of someone's sex life, it's part of their SEX LIFE. That doesn't make it bad or dirty, but it does mean that bringing it out of the bedroom or playparty into the "real world", they're effectively bringing their sex life out into the real world. If they're whapping at others that aren't connected to them sexually or "in fun", it's the same level of creepy as someone wacking off while peering at a neighbor sunbathing, and it's happening effectively in public. That's something I'm not particularly comfortable with observing.

On the other hand, if the kink *isn't* something they're really into, then it's egregiously tacky, and they're playing with someone ELSE'S mojo. Which is annoying, but can at least be probably chalked up to ignorance.

How very beautifully put!
I totally agree, it's in extremely poor taste all round

I totally agree.

Hear, hear.

people who show up with riding crops and or floggers and playfully "whip" people at parties.

A related story:
Someone brought one of those eclectic impulse massagers (you know, the ones that sent volts through your system, makes your muscles tense up) to the bar in Cowtown one night. He'd sneak up behind people and zap them. Tad annoying for most. Till he got to me. The girl with a MASSIVE CONDUCTOR IN HER ARM.
That was a large, large amount of pain. So much, I couldn't even deck the asshole

wow.

i hope someone punched that jerk for you! that's damn rude.

(side note.. i would have totally curbstomped him for you, on principle, if nothing else. ;)

I would have done it myself, had I not been on the floor. :(

That's fucking unreal. You probably had grounds for assault had to wanted to press charges.

I imagine if he'd done it to somebody with a pacemaker or such like, he'd be doing time for murder.

Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Electricity is very bad for people with heart conditions, even without pacemakers.

Want coffee.

With a shot of something in it.

Like, a lot.

OH GAD YES PLZ. I'm dying for a coffee and baileys. I haven't had one in weeks.

Come to my house and I will feed you mint chocolate Baileys. ;->

Last place I worked, one of the coders kept two floggers over her desk, and regularly threatened to use them on people and occasionally did. One time I was working on some of her code, and she said she'd have at me if I changed it. I gave her a withering look and she fecked off.

I think the basic problem people like that have is an audience of people that either think they're being terribly risque or are too polite to call them on it. In this day and age having a fondness for lights-off missionary would make you the kinky one.

having a fondness for lights-off missionary would make you the kinky one
Oh c'mon, doesn't everyone? ;)

Only with someone I trust and a safeword.

oh, inappropriate touching, how lovely. well, somebody would do that to me exactly once, and not again. and i've not gotten more conservative; i've always maintained that my body is my domain and you've got to ask permission before touching (life or death situations excepted; i'm ok with somebody pushing me out of the way of an oncoming truck i hadn't seen :). i damn well want to be asked before somebody initiates some form of physical powerplay that includes me. those flogger people at house parties are just like the assholes who like to grab a bit of ass or tit on the subway; creeps.

north american hygiene stuff cracks me up all the time.

I hate that kind of stuff at parties. Almost as much as I hate girls who pretend to be bi and lezz up in a horribly unrealistic and over-toungey way to get *all* the attention.

If you want to whip people at parties, go to those kind of parties. If you're really having a big love in with your housemates, keep it at home and try interacting with people when you go out.

This whole comment has me shuddering in horror. My skin wants to crawl about three feet to the left.

I was at a party once where two girls were doing the very self-conscious "let's pretend we're so hot for each other" writhing around without actually touching lips bit. Right in front of the apartment door. When I was trying to leave.

I finally lost my cool (and any pretense of sobriety) and bellowed at the top of my lungs, "Get out of my way or I'll show you how a real bull dyke does it."

They moved.

I like to go up to them and chirp "hey, who wants to go eat my pussy in the bathroom?"

Ok. This is funny. Jackie told that story last night at a gathering we were at. I hadn't read this comment yet, but somehow, I just knew the story was about you. ;)

That is funny.

Some day, my stories will be discounted as urban legends...

One of J's friends always seemed to be able to interject into any conversation how he was a principal "mover and shaker" in the London fetish scene. Luckily, he seems to have calmed down in his old age and doesn't do this. Or someone told him he was a twat for doing this.

I agree completely that whipping and such-like are fine in *the proper context*, and people who insist on doing so out of context are just twats. I was at one of L and R's fancy dress Xmas parties once, and two guests decided to start flogging each other in the middle of the living room.

L and R have no issue with fetish nights and often attend them, but they were Not Impressed, especially since their parents and co-workers were at the party. The flogger and floggee were spokenly to sternly about their behaviour.

A lot of public restrooms have kick-plates in the doors. I admit, I'm more likely to use my foot to shove open the door, if only because of the GIGANTIC STUPID NUMBER OF PEOPLE I SEE who don't wash their hands.

Yes, elevator buttons and such are just as bad, but they're somewhat less likely to have used by someone who five seconds previous, with nary a spot of soap between, was manipulating their diseased genitals.

Yes, elevator buttons and such are just as bad

Worse, probably. Your bathroom door was only touched by the male half of the disease brigade. The elevator buttons get fondled by both Typhoid Mary and Typhoid Maurice. :-)

thanks for that "rant"... it actually shed some light on my own feelings of discomfort.

I figured you'd recognize it. :-)

The women I work with all have this routine whenever they are leaving the bathroom

Aw, man. CBC has a show for shorts named Zed and one of them dealt with Ninja Bathroom girl. Maxtix-ed herself into a pee-hover, hand-standed with paper towel on the taps, and then faced her greatest challenge in the Distant Garbage Can.

Specifically: how would our terrified-of-all-bathroom-surfaces and neurotic about cleanliness gal get the door open, get out of it, and yet still get the paper towel in the Distant Garbage Can before all doors shut. Of course, being a bathroom ninja she succeeded.

I wish I had a copy of this to show across the world for it's shining Hilarity Through Truth angle.

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