It's strange to have grown up in small towns where the idyllic and the violent exist close enough together that I can remember the idyllic as something that happens to other people. The violent didn't happen in school.
I remember a bizaare in between place where everybody hated me because I wasn't protected enough to fit in with the kids who grew up with the idyllic and I wasn't physically harmed enough to fit in with the kids who were growing up with violence. I didn't know how to be good and I didn't have the heart to be bad.
I hate those stories because some part of me wishes life could be idyllic and those stories remind me how glad I am that it never will be because I'd never fit into a world like that.
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zvi
(no subject)
Date: 2006-05-19 03:54 am (UTC)I remember a bizaare in between place where everybody hated me because I wasn't protected enough to fit in with the kids who grew up with the idyllic and I wasn't physically harmed enough to fit in with the kids who were growing up with violence. I didn't know how to be good and I didn't have the heart to be bad.
I hate those stories because some part of me wishes life could be idyllic and those stories remind me how glad I am that it never will be because I'd never fit into a world like that.