the_siobhan | Entries tagged with politikill

Last night's movie was The Substance. Everybody who has talked about the film either loved it or hated it so I was curious.

I can now say that I fall firmly into the hate it category. I didn't get the body-horror aspect of it at all - it was all just closeup shots of how nasty meat is and how much aging sucks. And I thought the ending was terrible and overly stretched out. What's annoying about it is that I think there was a solid concept at the root of it and some a-list actors. It just seemed like they just ran out of ideas about half-way through.

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Finally heard back from my contractor - he's going back for more surgery on Friday. So I think it's safe to say he's not going to be around to finish any of the work. It took two weeks of calling him every day to finally get the receipts I needed for energy audit, but that's finally in.

I've booked some time off work at the end of this month so I can clear out the crap his workers left behind and figure out what's left to be done. I'm waiting for a callback from a plumber and I will probably have to bring somebody in to finish up the HVAC. There's some residual drywall to deal with and I've never done that before but I can probably tap a friend to help me out and there's always youtube.

The trash I can deal with, but I'm really torqued that they fucking plugged up the bathtub. It looks like they were throwing silty water in it, so now it's plugged and full of dirty water. I've been asking him if he's sending somebody to snake it and not getting a response, so I guess I'll just pay for it and hand him the bill. I don't know what the fuck they were thinking honestly.

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It was lovely and warm and sunny today and ended up going for a long walk just because it felt so nice to get out of the house. The longer days always make me restless. Probably just as well I feel like I'm hitting a period of having too much energy when I'm facing up to a week of hauling trash and painting.

I went out back to check on a few things and wow. Field of mud. I might just grab some clover seed to throw on it and see how it does - it's mostly clay so I'll have to rehab it a section at a time if I want to grow vegetables out there.

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Did my vote thing last week. My province elected an absolute fucking clown shoe once again. He is doing back-and-forth waffles about electricity exports to the US and making announcements about going down for trade talks even though trade is not a provincial responsibility. I hope the feds fucking sit on his head. I already reached out to my federal MP about his proposed deal with Starlink and suggested that they might want to get involved in that from a security perspective and she was receptive to the feedback so we'll see if anything comes of it.

Meanwhile, we have a new Prime Minister as of a couple of days ago. Ish. I think he has to be confirmed or sworn in or anointed or whateverthefuck they do when somebody gets picked to sit in the Big Chair. The party overwhelmingly voted for an economist over a politician and I suspect the brand new Trade War has a lot to do with that choice.

Now whether or not that party gets to remain in charge will depend on the next election, but given everything that's been going on lately it looks like they have a pretty good chance. Lots of people on social media have been posting photos of grocery stores with shelves bare of Canadian products while the American stuff is untouched. That's certainly been the case in every store I've gone into in my neighbourhood.

Gonna be a fucking weird couple of years, y'all.

The Bad: His Lordship, Lord Brock of the Brockton Brocks, has been feeling poorly. He stopped eating for a few days, which is apparently really bad for cats - their organs can just shut down. A visit to the vet found him underweight and dehydrated. They gave him an anti-nausea shot and an appetite stimulant and I have been monitoring his intake (and his outgo) like a hawk watching a rabbit warren for the past week.

He had another exam today and he appears to be mostly out of the woods, but I did go home with some more meds to give him over the weekend if anything goes south.

(I will not tell you the stuff I learned at the vet today about anal glands because what the hell, nature?)

Anyway. This meant cancelling on the nephew I was going to help move today, because there is no way I'm leaving town for a whole day until I'm sure he's stable.

***

The Good: There were two contractors involved in the building of my kitchen, the guy who built the frame and the guy who did the interior. I got to watch them have a full-on meltdown at each other over who's fault the frozen pipes are. Wednesday the interior guy came by and moved the pipes and insulated them so in theory this problem should now be solved. Fingers crossed. I haven't had a problem since, but also it hasn't gotten below -5 C yet this week.

Basement guy is now saying he'll be done on Tuesday. ! Could it be true!?

I expect I'll have to do some additional trim and repairs down there. (And painting) But the idea that this could actually be fucking over soon? Be still my tremulous heart!

Next house goal: get a new boiler. Right now I can a) take a shower b) run the dishwasher OR c) do laundry, but I cannot do two of the above on the same day. I might spring for one of those tankless ones, I have to do some research first.

***

The Ugly: I have almost no teeth left in the back lower jaw. If I could speak to my 12 year-old self, one of the things I would stress is to stay on top of the teeth during those few years I would have insurance and DO NOT go to the very nice lady that your dad recommends, because being a completely painless dentist was apparently not as good a thing as everybody thought at the time. My current dentist is a semi-retired Egyptian woman who makes me cry on the regular, but she was able to extend the life of most of my teeth far past the point where I thought I was going to lose them all.

Aside: Teeth not being covered by provincial health insurance is a crime against humanity.

Anyway., So now I have this bridge thing that I'm supposed to wear every day, at the absolute minimum whenever I eat. I hate it. It's uncomfortable and I don't like having things in my mouth. The thing is, I could same the same about my bite guard (I clench my jaw really hard in my sleep) and that I wear every night. But this thing - I can never remember. It's like a mental block, every single day I eat dinner and as soon as I'm standing up to get rid of my plate I think Oh I forgot that bridge thing, I need to remember to put it in tomorrow. Every day. Every. Day. For the past three months.

What the fuck, brain?

***

All Of The Above: I got my election bribe money today. I immediately donated it to one of the other parties.

Current Mood: titties&beer

I probably owe tons of people messages since the last time I logged into this thing. Sorry.

I have been feeling really bleaurgh the past couple of weeks. Nothing physical, just a really bad case of the donwannas.

I think I'm just burned out.

***

My plan to hold Christmas dinner three weeks after the actual date so people wouldn't share their germs turned out to be the right call. My sister texted me on Boxing Day to say, "you have my permission to say 'I told you so'" along with a picture of her positive Covid test. Then a couple days later my daughter got the flu.

So last weekend we did it. I bought the turkey and my sister cooked it. I unpacked my mother's dishes and dug chairs out of storage and everybody brought food. I think it worked out really well.

I even got a new toilet installed time for the occasion. It flushes and everything. Luxury!

***

This fucking house. It's finally getting below zero in Toronto and the water taps in my kitchen keep fucking freezing. I'm convinced the guy who did the kitchen didn't insulate the kitchen enough, and I spent today digging through emails and looking at the blueprints.

The kitchen is really cold all the time and the heat vents don't seem to put out any heat, so I've been complaining about that to the contractor and he says he's going to fix it. Somebody has been downstairs banging and sawing all week, so hopefully that's a good thing.

Meanwhile I still have not received any of the dates or written statements I asked him for back in October. Jesus fucking wept.

***

I am trying not to think too hard about politics right now, at least not the bits I can't do anything about.

I did dig through my passwords to find my twitter login so I could delete it because what the actual fuck.

And I registered to be a member of the Liberal party. There is a message being passed around that pro-Polievere crowd are telling conservatives to register as liberals so they can vote for Freeland as party leader over Carney. Because they think PP is more likely to beat Freeland and would likely to lose to Carney. I'm not a Liberal by a long shot, but I would rather have a Liberal leader than Trump North, so I registered.

***

I signed up to do Write Every Day in February. I do enjoy doing it, and it kicks my ass to actually write. Something to distract me while I wait for the outside to thaw. (Not to mention my pipes.)

And also in February I'm doing Coldest Night Of the Year again. Fundraiser page here:

Coldest Night Of The Year

I started listening to twitch DJs when lockdown first happened and a lot of stuff went online. I'm still using twitch for most of my music steaming these days because fuck Spotify. I have found lots of good music that way. I've also been doing it long enough that I'm now starting to recognize people when we run into each other in steam audiences.

My current favourite is maerchen1313. She's actually somebody I've known in real life for a couple of decades who recently got into streaming and she's managed to create a really positive friendly space. It legitimately feels like the online version rolling into Cheers and everybody yells NORM when you walk in the door. Plus she can go from playing ABBA to Kawaii metal to Fugazi in a single evening and make it feel like the transition is totally smooth.

So that's my substitute for clubbing in a city where nobody gives a shit about accessibility.

***

I went to an work event hosted by the disabled employees network and I was the only one masked. It makes me want to bang my head against a wall.

It did raise an interesting question though, a couple of the people there lip-read, and when you are meeting in person rather than virtually most of the accessibility features for people who can't hear just aren't present. I looked up masks with clear panels, but they were all cloth masks so not actually N95. So any of the lovely people out there know of lip-reading accessible N95 or better masks, let me know.

I should probably learn ASL. Might be more immediately useful than the Spanish.

***

I have come to the conclusion that I have the spoons to organize shit, or I have the spoons to clean up after myself, but not both. My living space looks like an alien made out of paper and coffee cups took a shit on it. The lumbering machine of lawyers and banks has woken up and this requires me to run around like a maniac to feed their hungry jaws. Whatever, I can clean any time, as long as that time is not today.

I was trying to articulate to the gf why life is easier now even though I'm doing all the work around the house. Because when the ex-housemate lived here, if I left a dirty plate on the counter even once that meant they never had to put their dirty dishes away ever ever ever because they were "following my lead". I no longer have to check all the doors before I go to bed to make sure they're locked, or the stove to make sure it's turned off. If I want the snow shovelled I either do it or I hire somebody. I don't have to ask every single day, "IS THING DONE YET[1]" I either do it... or I decide it can wait. No pressure.

Fucking miraculous, not going to lie. Some days I feel like I'm stretched thin, but it's because there's a lot to do, not because somebody sat on something until it turned into a fucking emergency without telling me.

I'm still finding boxes of shit they told me they dealt with years ago and instead shoved under a pile in the basement.

***

[1]EXCEPT FOR THE CONTRACTOR Holy shit this guy. Definitely ADHD. I am so so done with ADHD. Don't mistake me, I recognize that it is a legitimate disability, it is just one THAT I WOULD LIKE A FUCKING BREAK FROM FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

BUT. Shit is happening. Floors are being... floored. I dunno, I never did get that schedule I asked for. But I wake up every day to the sound of hammers and drills and saws and when I sneak downstairs after hours it's obvious that new things have happened. This is most excellent. The funding for not being thrown out of my fucking house was predicated on being able to rent out the downstairs space so seeing progress is most excellent and relief-making.

***

My friends have been talking about the recent political climate and how we're going to deal with it. I have had several friends say that they expect they will see war over water. I'm all, ha ha, no that won't happen Poilievre is going to win the next election, and he will just give the country to Trump, there will be no conflict.

I used to think people learned from their mistakes. I don't think that any more.

Current Location: Sisyphus' waiting room

I keep telling myself I will post here and then not doing it. Then I look at the time stamp on my last entry and a month has gone by.

One of the things that definitely fell off the bus around the time of the funeral was my Spanish practice. I'm disinclined to go back to Duolingo since they brought in AI - I've seen lots of commentary from Spanish speakers that it's introduced a lot of errors into the program. But Duolingo did make it really easy to build a habit around practising, so I now I just have to figure out how to build a new one.

I'm also trying to build up the habit of doing Write Every Day again. And I started doing drawing exercises through DrawABox. And I'm trying to build a habit of going to the gym regularly again. That's really not a long list and none of the things on it are particularly difficult but I suck at changing multiple things at the same time so that does kind of explain why I keep running into a wall.

(Also new meds and learning to feed myself and big work stuff and the cat is also on new meds and ok, maybe it's more than four things.)

***

In very good news, contractor's tests all came back negative. No bone cancer. So he's back to work on Tuesday. I am very happy he's healthy, because I genuinely like the guy. It also means I can now yell at him without feeling guilty. He texted me that he spent all day yesterday driving to stores to pick up supplies.

One of the things that has been waiting for the end of the construction work is to get my fucking toilet fixed. I paid off the last of my credit cards this month and said great! Time to rack that baby up again! And called a plumber. He decreed the ancient throne to be unsalvageable so I have a new one winging it's way towards me. Some day very soon I will be able to crap in my own house without having to haul buckets of water from the shower to do so. What a country.

***

Saw my dad on Thursday. He wasn't doing great. It's alarming how fast his cognitive function is declining. Summer before last he would lose the occasional word. Now he only manages a few words before he starts struggling.

I sent an email to all family members and said, look I don't take risks around infection so we can do one of two things, either we do it at my house and everybody masks religiously for two weeks prior, OR we try and find a heated patio. I really didn't think the masking would fly, but much to my shock everybody agreed right away. The nephews said they mask anyway because they're both at new jobs and don't want to take time off. Everybody also said they are happy to do the family get-together in January, which means some gap after work events and NYE parties. So that's what we're going to do. This also gives me some extra time to get the kitchen sorted out - right now it's still full of boxes of crap. I don't want to unpack until the back window gets torn out because that's going to be filthy. But if I have a couple of extra weeks I have time to 1) harass the contractor to finish it 2) clean up after 3) put in shelves and 4) unbox everything.

Wish me luck.

***

I have been absolutely fascinated by everything that's happening around the CEO shooting in Manhattan. Not so much the shooting itself but the social media around it. Conservative commentators are getting pushback from their audiences when they frame it as "lefty's celebrating". People in New York actively telling each other not to cooperate with the police.

This article is a good example, there are people who spend their spare time solving crimes who have have done a lot to close cold cases and they're all saying nah to this one.
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/internet/internet-sleuths-say-wont-help-find-unitedhealthcare-ceo-suspect-rcna183228

It's been like a real-life Leverage episode and it's fascinating.

It has also led to a lot of Americans talking about their personal experiences with private healthcare. It's always been a horror show, but I feel like it's gotten worse in the last 10 years as the capitalism pressure-cooker gets hotter. Companies can't just make profit, they can't even just make more profit every year, they have to make a higher percentage increase in profit every year - until they hit the wall of course, because that shit's just not sustainable in the long term.

I am really hoping that Ontarians are reading these stories. Because our province is pushing for private healthcare and that's going to be very very bad news if the public just lets them get away with it.

Current Mood: aeon flux

So that happened.

I'm seeing theories of cheating which honestly wouldn't surprise me even a tiny little bit. I'm also seeing calls for progressives not to stumble down the conspiracy theory path, which is also fair. But you know, there's no harm in asking for a recount, right? If the numbers were that close?

Maybe a do-over?

I have other thoughts, but they are not for a public forum. All I can say here is, take care of yourselves.

***

I'm still plugging away over here. I have reached the small fiddly part of organizing that is so hard because I am still waiting on things to be finished. In the meantime I've resigned myself to putting things back in boxes while I wait for the house to be done.

Contractor hasn't been here for a month in spite of frequent promises of "next week". Turns out his cancer is back and his doctors keep dragging him in for tests. I can't complain about him putting his health first, but I am complaining about him not telling me what's going on. I can't plan around his schedule if he won't fucking tell me what it is.

Cheap fast or good. Pick two.

On the plus side, took a chance that the contractor wouldn't be here last week and got the furnace guy to come in. Just in time for the temperature to drop 15 degrees. Now I need to find the manual so I can reset the thermostat since the housemate was always cold and I tend to run hot.

***

Cat was supposed to go in for some dental work. Instead I got a call from the vet saying, I'm concerned about his heart murmur...

Wait, his what now?

So now I have to take him into a cardiologist for an assessment. I legit did not know they have cardiologists for cats. But here we are.

***

I finally got my big-boy pants on and joined the gym around the corner. So far I really like like it. Huge queer contingent. Very body positive. Lots of variation in skill & fitness levels. I am sore as hell, entirely in the good way.

Really the only down side is that the building is old and the ventilation is shit. I wear a mask every class but so far I'm the only one.

I'm also thinking I need to find time to hit up a massage therapist because hoo boy, are my muscles complaining about being out of practice. And one of the clinics near me just sent out email saying that they now have a practitioner who specifically does scar work, so I might set up an appointment just for that.

Still plugging away.

( Questions of Days )

***

I'm pretty sure I have never seen this on a weather forecast before. o.0

***

Mayoral election for Toronto is finally over and done with and with the best possible outcome. It ended up being a close contest between the well-known progressive candidate and the "business as usual" candidate[1] and the progressive candidate won.

[1] She was my City Counsellor until recently and I told everybody who would listen not to vote for her. She also used her old constituency list to send out "vote for me!" emails, which pissed me off no end. The only reason you have my email address in the first place is because I used it so much to YELL AT YOU FOR THE TERRIBLE FUCKING THINGS YOU VOTED FOR you fucking ASSHOLE!

***

There is banging going on in my basement today for the first time in over a month. Contractor is supposed to be here either today or tomorrow, so hopefully I'll get a chance to talk to him about what happens next.

Still not King.

( Questions of Days )

***

Problems only goths have: losing clothes whenever I do laundry because every single thing in the laundry basket is black. I'm missing a bunch of socks and I'm pretty sure they accidentally got folded into my bedsheets.

Guess I'll find them next time I make the bed.

***

I crossed sorting out the "medicine cabinet" off my list - it's actually a dresser drawer where we just toss things we don't have an immediate need for or where we have bought more than one container of something.

Things I discovered in the process.

A pack of nicotine gum that expired two years ago
One of those truck-stop energy shots that expired three years ago
A pack of nicotine patches that expired four years ago
A pack of allergy meds that expired five years ago
A bottle of ear-drops that expired six years ago
A pack of famotidine tablets that expired in 2007
A prescription jar of cortisol cream from 2002.
Three packs of sharps
And a partridge in a pear tree

Something suggests I should do this more often.

***

We got another air quality warning today, but I went outside and the air didn't smell like a campfire, so I took the risk of sitting on the patio for a while.

I read this article recently about how Ontario is having trouble keeping experienced fire fighters because the bill that restricts public employee's pay includes fire fighters and so people are saying "Fuck this, I can have a job where I'm not living in a tent for a month while I risk my life for shitty pay."

And here's the thing, we have so many fires going on in this country right now that the federal government is shipping people in from other countries to help. I have seen videos of South Africans arriving in Alberta. Spanish and Portuguese fire fighters are in Quebec. There are French and American teams in northern Ontario.

So let me get this straight, the provincial government cuts the funding to the firefighting program, cuts the pay of firefighters, cancels the carbon tax, sells large portions of the green belt to developers, cancels green energy programs, and builds a new fucking highway that we don't need right through our core farm country - and then federal money has to be used to fly people in from other countries to fight fires exacerbated by climate change?

How the fuck does this make any kind of sense?

( Questions of Days )

***

I am absolutely slaughtered today and I have no idea why - all I did yesterday was sit on buses and streetcars. Literally all day - 90 minutes to get to the old man's residence, an hour on WheelTrans to get to his appointment, 40 minutes sitting in a waiting room, an hour wait for the bus back, over an hour trip to his residence and finally over two hours on the (packed) streetcar home - I sat on my ass All. Day. And today I feel like I was under the wheels the whole time.

Of course I am dealing with insurance companies today, which is exhausting all by itself. But still. I was close to useless at work today.

***

I assume somebody was here yesterday because some stuff was moved around, but nothing today. So I guess the electricians are done? The latest delay in the contractor's part of the work is because, and I shit you not, somebody tried to steal his truck and managed to scramble the computer so now it won't start. He tells me he gets it back from the mechanic on Monday and then work will resume.

Meanwhile Dr River Song is very interested in the plastic sheet barring her from the kitchen. I have zero doubt that she could bulldoze her way through if she decides she wants to. This cat does pull-ups on her scratching post and we have 40lbs of metal plates stacked against the front door to keep her out of the upstairs. I don't think she can get outside if she does claw her way into the kitchen, but I would just as soon not have her rolling around in the sawdust and fibreglass.

***

I read an opinion piece recently that basically boiled down to, "If companies in Toronto want people to go back to the office, they are going to have to fix the transit system so that people can actually get there." Which... yes?

Apparently the current front-runner in the upcoming Mayoral election is Olivia Chow - former city counsellor and MP and with a solid progressive history. I hope the hell she gets in, she would actually prioritize things like infrastructure and public services.

Gotta thank the woman who got Tory bounced out of his job - she really took one for the team.

Missed more than a few of these, mostly due to my completely inability to even[1].

4 – World Hypnotism Day: Have you ever been hypnotised? If so, how was the experience?
5 – Whipped Cream Day: Do you like whipped cream? Have you ever made whipped cream from scratch?
6 – Take Down the Christmas Tree Day: If you celebrate Christmas, when do you put up your tree and when do you take it down?

Never been hypnotised, probably never will (Can you say trust issues?), have no particularly strong feelings on whipped cream and have certainly never tried to make it, can't be arsed to faff about with Xmas decorations of any kind.

7 – I'm Not Going to Take it Anymore Day: What gets you to the point of saying you're not going to take it anymore?

It takes me a long time, honestly. I tend to try to "manage" untenable situations for far longer than is probably healthy for my own well-being. Once I do draw a line though, it's immutable. Even if I try to go back to the way things were, I can't. Something in my brain switches over, and I might as well make a river flow uphill.

***

Things here have been both busy and quiet. Plugging away at work. Got a few more things struck off the to-do list. I used to take vacations at this time of year because travel tends to be slightly cheaper. With the pandemic it feels more like a holding pattern, waiting for the world to thaw so outside stuff can start happening again.

***

Toronto appears to be experiencing a rash of random attacks on public transit. These things come and go but of course they make everybody nervous when they are in the upswing. People are rightfully pointing out that prevention lies in things like public supports, housing, mental health, food security. Our useless fucking mayor has leapt into action and - gave the police more money. So now we will have even more officers employed to pitch people off of balconies.

Honestly, this city feels like it's falling apart.

(That impression is probably not helped by the fact that two huge sinkholes just opened up in the street in my neighbourhood. One of them outside my door. Parkdale is slowly washing away into the lake.)

[1] I'm trying to picture my high school self trying to parse that sentence.

Still alive.

Occasionally I see posts by people who say, oh sorry I've been so quiet, I've been doing all my posting on this other site. Not me, nope. I go quiet because I suck on all social media.

***

The Old Man really really really wanted to do a dinner out with the family and I just couldn't bring myself to say no to him again yet again. I made a point of getting him his flu shot a couple of weeks ago because apparently this year's flu is a fucker, and then last night we took him out to a steak house. I was thinking I could reduce the risk by doing it 1) midweek, 2) before December started proper and 3) before office Xmas parties and family get-togethers make the numbers sky-rocket. Well #1 & 2 didn't come through for me because the place was packed. And then at the last minute the nephew couldn't come because he tested positive for covid.

Still, the Old Man said he really enjoyed himself. When spring comes we'll do it again at an outside venue - hopefully with the nephew this time - and if we can make that our new tradition I'll feel better about saying no to winter indoor gatherings. I should have done more of that this past summer, but he spent most of it in the hospital. He's in good spirits and good energy now though, so hopefully that lasts.

***

Tomorrow we drop of the bed that we finally got for him. Holy shit those things are expensive. I mean it makes sense they would be, they have to be sturdy enough not to break on people and the mattress is pretty high-tech, but still. Even so it will still be cheaper than the rental.

I am behind on so many things. My to-do list is a fucking joke, seriously, it's one of those cartoon things that has pages stapled on the bottom and just spreads all over the floor when you pick it up.

My to-do list includes writing and phoning politicians because things are a nightmare in Ontario right now. I had an argument with the housemate yesterday about how yes, voting matters, because if we weren't spending so much energy struggling to stop the Conservatives from making things worse, maybe we would have the energy to push to make things better? They made the counter-argument that this province always chooses one of the two big main parties and always the one that isn't in the federal seat - so struggling against the Conservatives is never going to not be a thing on some government level and we should just focus our energy elsewhere. They have a valid point I think, but also you gotta start somewhere, so yelling at politicians is still an item on my daily planner, because honestly I have the time equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs now and that's what I can manage.

***

I'm trying to get back into Write Every day. Dear Lord. My brain is like the Sahara. I've been trying to write a story from the perspective of a person who struggles with depression which you would think would be easy for me, but it's surprisingly difficult to put the experience to paper.

So I was thinking about it one night when I was lying-in-bed-not-sleeping and it occurred to me that for me at least, depression has always really been about anger. So if I can write a character who is just quietly fucking furious all the time I might get closer to what I'm trying to express.

Could be an interesting exercise, if nothing else.

***

So yeah. Same old, same old over here.

Oh this is handy. I don't think I've seen a site that included school trustees before.

Candidate Tracker

The Toronto District School Board has a continuing ed program where they host general interest courses in classrooms that are empty on weekends or over the summer. The courses are a mixed bag - not all of the instructors are professional teachers - but in general I've always found them worth taking.

I can't remember how long ago it was when I last took a class - Darrell was still alive so maybe 4 years ago? But I remember posting about it at the time, how shocked I was at the state of the building. Broken lockers, broken windows held together by tape, one washroom stall with a working door on it. No air conditioning obviously, why the fuck I thought it was a good idea to take a class in July, I don't know. But you know, you read about how the TDSB has a 10-year repair backlog and then you see it in person? Ouch.

This week I went to visit the Old Man in the hospital. It was Toronto General, and he was in one of the older wings. My reaction to the place was much the same. Peeling paint. No phones in the rooms. There was a TV, an older blocky thing the size of a breadbox, I carefully threaded the wires back into the cable connection and managed to get a display that only had the colour red. It was depressing.

I want to start giving tours. People who vote conservative because progressive politicians just "waste our money". People who only vote for the candidate that promises low taxes. I want to take them into schools and hospitals and say "this is what you are voting for".

I wonder if it would actually make a difference.

Current Mood: cansada

Petition to the House of Commons asking the government to search the sites of all residential schools.

Open to all citizens and residents.

I have reached the point in Axel's vacation where I am considering turning the cats into earmuffs. (This point reliably falls some time in week 3)

Morning routines are go into the kitchen step over the cat open the fridge door take the cat food out of the fridge pull the cat out of the fridge close the fridge door step over the cat move my foot to stop the cat from licking it ew move the other foot to stop the cat from licking it ew step over the cat serve the food step over the cat open the fridge door put the cat food in the fridge take my yogurt out of the fridge pull the cat out of the fridge close the fridge door step over the cat move my foot to stop the cat from licking it ew move the other foot to stop the cat from licking it ew step over the cat open the fridge door put yogurt in the fridge pull the cat out of the fridge close the fridge door. Then I spend ten minutes trying to keep one cat off my feet and the other cat out of my breakfast before I give up and take it all upstairs.

***

I made the mistake of buying something off Etsy without realizing that the seller was located in Vancouver, Washington and not Vancouver, British Columbia. So of course they ship UPS. UPS are gougers of the highest order, my $20 late-night impulse buy cost me almost $90C by the time I pried it off those fuckers. I don't know what they're like in the US, but in Canada they literally hold your shit hostage after you have already paid their exorbitant shipping fees until you give them more money. So it's either cough up or flush the cash you have already paid.

My own damn fault. Should have caught it at checkout.

Oh and they also delivered it to the wrong address. Fortunately my neighbours are lovely.

Oh well, it's a gift. Hope they like it.

***

Tomorrow is a Stat Day (Canada Day) so the office is closed. And I don't work Fridays so I'm getting a long weekend. There is a march to support Indigenous people going on downtown tomorrow, but it's a good hour walk just to get to the start point and it's been heat-stroke weather all week. I suspect I won't go, so I'll do my usual of donating money and writing letters to politicians instead.

I spend so much time calling and writing politicians. So much time.

Very very occasionally, I feel like it did something.

Current Mood: hot sticky & other peoples fur

Congratulations to my American friends.

A good thing that came up here as a result of the attack on the US Congress; local activist groups have been trying to get organizations like the Proud Boys defined as hate groups for years. I wrote about it to my MP who is a member of the Liberal party and she posted a public letter in support of the idea. My MP is pretty useless and since nobody does anything in federal politics without the boss saying it's OK I'm taking that as an indicator that they are finally taking these assholes seriously.

Hopefully they don't all forget about it now that it's no longer in the headlines.

***

I am now completely recovered from what was definitely a cold. I would have thought going from "leave the house once a week" to "leave the house never" wouldn't have been such a big leap, but it's been genuinely difficult.

I did do some more painting. As I explained it to friends, "Can't leave the fucking house, might as well make the walls pretty to look at."

***

Dad and step-dad both gave me money for Xmas and I resolved that this year I would spend it all on myself instead of letting it leak over into catching up on bills. So I got a bunch of books, and I'm going to hit up the next Bandcamp Friday. And I bought these because I am an enormous goober and they make me happy.

I am feeling the December start to finally leech out of my system. It has always been a stressful month for me and this year it was just too fucking much. But I did it and I saw people I am related to on the computer screen and we caught up and it was all good.

I didn't write a single word after I finished hosting WED - it seems to be the first thing that gets jettisoned when my brain goes into overload - and this week I have finally been able to sit and scratch a few things out. I take that as a good sign.

Some day spring will come.

Cross-posting to LJ has been broken for a while and I'm just now getting around to doing something about it. So we'll see if this works.

Basement DJ was sick for about three days and then recovered completely. His test came back negative so at this point we're thinking it wasn't Covid. My plan is to get re-tested next weekend and visit the old man the Friday after.

***

Somewhere in the middle of this Toronto had a tornado watch and I would have missed it if my sister hadn't texted me about it. From Spain.

***

A group called the Afro-Indigenous Rising Coalition set up a tent city in front of Toronto City Hall and they recently got kicked out, so they've moved into the big park up the street from my house. I'm not up that way often so the first I heard about it was somebody on the mailing list suggesting people call the non-emergency police line to ask they be moved. I was extremely gratified that the overwhelming response to their suggestion was WTF, NO DON'T CALL THE POLICE WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING? There is currently a discussion going on about organizing a neighbourhood group to help them with things like supplies and access to laundry.

***

I'm looking at resuming my books read posts, and man it's a short list. I used to be one of those kids that would carry as many books home from the library as they would let me check out, and now look at me.

Crossposts: https://the-siobhan.livejournal.com/625228.html

Sunday night Axel and I walked to the Covid testing clinic. It was by far the best time to do it, there was no lineup to go in and by the time we walked home the sun was starting to set and it was slightly less of a high-intensity laser. The air was still like trying to inhale through a wet sweat-sock, though.

Apparently they were out of the smaller sampling kits and so I got to experience the 4-inch right-past-the-sinuses-into-the-part-of-my-hindbrain-that-still-thinks-I'm-an-invertebrate-part-of-my-head test. A friend of mine once described it as, "I think I finally got that lobotomy I've been considering". So that was fun. No wait, the opposite of that.

Still, I got off easier than Axel. Not sure which one of us has had our nose broken more often, but theirs definitely came out bendier.

Yesterday I went to a neighbourhood rally to defund the police. We kept near the edge of the crowd and it was overall pretty low-key. Everybody kept their distance and the vast majority were wearing masks. There were cops there but they minded their business and didn't start anything.

Today I was just packing up to walk over to BC's place when Axel came into the room and announced that the Basement DJ has symptoms and went for testing this morning. So the whole house is back on lockdown until his test results come back. I wore a covering over my face and made a point of passing people at a distance both days, but this still worries me.

Current Mood: death & horror inc

Could NOT sleep last night. No idea why. Wasn't even about fireworks. Possibly brain chemistry. My brain has been pretty good for the last few months, but "pretty good" on the Siobhan scale is still never going to mean without the nasty intrusive monologue.

My experiment with reduced drinking meant that I could really tell how much more my brain hates me the day after I do drink, so now I'm experimenting with stopping altogether. I will be so pissed off if it actually makes enough of a difference that I have to quit. I like drinking. It's pretty much the only vice I have left.

***

Doing all this exercising is fantastic for the body dysphoria. I can do push-ups again!

***

I had a weird interaction on Kijiji this week. (The Canadian version of Craigslist) We've been able to purge some household items this past week, including a massive worktable I've been using as a computer desk. We put it on the porch and I put up it on Kijiji as a free item. Free stuff always gets a lot of interest and normally I start with the first person to respond and work my way down the list in order, offering it to each person in turn. If they can't take it or pull a no-show I go to the next person. Only in this case one of the last people to respond just... showed up and took it off the porch, before I even had a chance to email him about it. Best I can figure is that Kijiji makes you put in your postal code, which in our high-density neighbourhood is less than 10 houses. He must have found it on the map and just driven up the street until he spotted the desk and loaded it into his van.

I'm more than a little skeeved by this. I have a woman renting a vehicle and driving down from Sudbury to pick up another item I'm giving away and if she showed up and found it missing I think she'd be entirely justified in being upset. So I guess now I'm keeping it inside the house until she gets here.

***

I'm walking to the clinic for another test again later today so I can visit the old man again. I'm also hoping to go to a defund police rally tomorrow. It's a billionty degrees outside right now, and I'm really not looking forward to either of these things.

Current Mood: sleepy

A lot of the Canadians on my reading list are talking about this story

Canadians are deeply concerned about climate change and are willing to make adjustments in their lives to fight it — but for many people, paying as much as even a monthly Netflix subscription in extra taxes is not one of them, a new poll suggests.

I call bullshit.

Because I know what I would answer if a pollster asked me the question.

I would answer, "We know the names of the people who right now are making billions piloting the industries causing climate change. We know who is funding the misinformation campaign designed to convince people that climate change isn't real and protect them from the repercussions of their actions. We know the names of the politicians and the lobbyists who are responsible for the de-funding of infrastructure that makes it harder for the rest of us to live sustainable lives *cough*Doug Ford*cough* and the ones who buy pipelines and give subsidies to oil companies while wrapping themselves in a green flag *cough*Trudeau*cough*.

Taxpayers are already paying more - in medical costs as air quality goes down, in insurance costs as flooding & fire increases, in having to pay to put fucking air conditioning I don't even want in a house that just keeps getting hotter every year. Take the money from the oil companies, strip them of every last fucking penny of company profits and use it to clean up their crap. Their shareholders and CEOs can have whatever is left when they've paid for the mess they made."

And that would be recorded as a "no".

Current Mood: cut a bitch
Crossposts: https://the-siobhan.livejournal.com/606889.html

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Hemlock B Bootsalotta

I didn't get this far in life by pacing myself

slouching back home from Bethlehem

i contain unquietudes

i contain slakitudes

i contain aptitudes

other than that, how was the play Mme Antoinette?

i contain hebetudes

you can't tell people what they want to hear if you also want to tell the truth

see the sun turn green from my penthouse window

voices in the cage are getting way too loud to sleep through

Question of the Day: I'm Not Going to Take it Anymore

the neon light's on me tonight

Toronto municipal election

the company store only sells gruel

do the right thing

the market of the beast

no late stage capitalism while i'm talking

they bring diamonds and rust

chemical land

can't afford any artificial joy

i may have strong feelings about this

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May 2025

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