Hemlock B Bootsalotta

It snowed today. It's supposed to be 19 tomorrow. WTF Toronto, go home you're drunk.

The new hot water tank was installed yesterday. It's very shiny and not rusty. More importantly, I was able to take a shower where the water stayed hot right up until the very end. Luxury!

I had a moment of concern when I asked the installers where they had put the old tank. "Oh it's gone to the scrapyard." Uh, it was a rental? And they might want it back? But I called the company that owned it and when they realized how old it was they went yeah, fair enough. So that's sorted.

Ex-housemate was in town for a couple of days dealing with medical stuff, so they came by today. They took away as much of their stuff as would fit in a backpack. They also dropped off a switch that lets me run multiple computers through a single monitor/keyboard/mouse setup, so that means I can pack away the jury-rigged setup I had on my desk for switching between my work and personal systems AND I can now use the unneeded peripherals to more comfortably set up streaming to my television. This is all somewhat self-indulgent compared to the rest of the work that needs to be done in the house, but I had a folding table set up behind my chair so I could switch back and forth between the computer that has all my receipts and the old Windows box that was the only one that could read my old tax forms so I could make sure everything was filed correctly and now I don't have to do that.

Now that I think about it, that also means I can play games again if I want to! I might make another attempt at WoW - the one time I tried I bounced off the racism pretty hard, but if I can find a start point that has slightly less of that maybe I can get to a level where some of friends are playing. (Insert your faction / server / guild recommendations here.)

The venerable Lord Brock was so happy to see the ex-housemate that he howled like an air-raid siren for an hour straight. I am convinced that cat is broken.

Today we dig out the parka.

Yesterday I watched a squirrel run across the sidewalk with a full slice of pizza dangling from it's mouth. Ah, autumn in Toronto.

***

Things have started leaving the house again this week. I was officially in taking-it-easy mode for the last month - although I might have pushed that 20lb limit slightly once or twice - but this morning I had the follow-up appointment that gave me the all-clear to start hauling boxes and other heavy things as of today. Stretching my arms to the very top of my range is still a slow and careful thing but the scars will get more flexible as I continue to heal.

That means I should probably also do some of the housework I've been putting off. It's been... piling up a bit. Prior to the my surgery I put together a long list of physically low-impact things I could accomplish around the house while I was off work. I did not do one single thing on that list.

***

Yesterday was Thanksgiving in Canada. I can't cook for shit, but the gf is an amazing cook and she made duck for dinner. Sooo good.

And my sister, who has been living in Europe for the last 13 years, decided that she's really excited about being able to celebrate Thanksgiving now that she's back in Canada. So she hosted a family dinner on the weekend. I have been trying to get my family to stop making plans that mean being unmasked in a restaurant without much success so after stressing about it a bunch I finally texted her back and said I would come and hang out, but that I would be remaining masked while I was there because none of them take precautions. We had a brief argument about it, and I was honestly kind of dreading having to argue about it again once I got there.

But it turned out to be fine? She set up a small side table in the bedroom, closed the door, and left the windows open all day. So by the time everybody sat down to eat I could take my plate in there and eat away from everybody else in a ventilated room. When I left she told me she thought I was being unnecessarily paranoid but, "It's your health, so you get to make the call." Which was... honestly better than I expected?

I saw an article last week that the FDA has approved a combined flu/covid RAT for home use and it apparently has a much lower false negative rate than the 4 year-old RATs we're still using here, so I'm hoping I can get my hands on a few boxes before Xmas. And I'll need to sort out a booster soon. Hopefully at a time when I have a couple of days off after to deal with the ass-kicking it gives me.

So you know, still chugging away.

The gf took me to see a production of Uncle Vanya last week. Chekov is one of our mutual passions, she introduced me to his plays and I instantly fell in love. Every single person in his plays makes me want to smack them and I can compare every single one of them to at least one person I know in real life. Masterful. And this particular production is fantastic.

The director's notes in the program referred to Chekov as soothing, and uh, I love his plays but that is definitely not the word I would use. It also made the claim that he is the second most performed playwrite after Shakespeare and that I also didn't expect. Finding commonality in pre-revolutionary times, I guess.

***

The Old Man's hospital count has risen to four since Xmas. On the plus side, he's back at home now and I saw him a few days ago. He honestly looked better than I've seen him for a while.

However, not be out-done, Old Man #2 (my actual father) has stepped up to fill that gap. My sister ran hospital duty and I've offered to run point on any appointments she can't make it to since I have a backlog of PTO and she's in a new job.

Ice flow. Just sayin'.

***

Today is a provincial holiday so I got a day off work. So today has been a dig-through-piles-of-paper, pay-bills, follow-up-on-phone-calls, make-appointments kind of day. I've sorted all my tax forms and found almost all the paperwork I need for the house sale so I'm feeling like I was productive.

I'd like to have a workout, but I'm having the worst gout flare I think I've ever had and my left knee won't bend properly. Maybe some hand weights. I dunno, I'll figure it out.

It doesn't usually last more than a week so I really hope it clears up before I have to do that charity walk. Walking hurts like a motherfucker.

***

I also took the new stove-top out for a test drive this weekend. Whenever it looks like vegetables are going to expire before we get around to eating them I toss them in the freezer and I also had a big bag of left-over turkey bones from Xmas dinner with BC. Our freezer was running out of room so yesterday we cleaned it out and reorganized everything and I put all the veg and bones into a couple of big pots and made stock. Which of course then had to go back into the freezer and filled it back up again, but one step at a time.

I had to clean the cement and drywall grit off the range before I could use it of course. And dig the pots out of the storage bin they were in. Fortunately I knew exactly which bin they were located in because Dr River Song decided to go mountain climbing one day and sent the entire stack crashing to the floor, thereby revealing their location. (Took a second stack with it as it went down, just like one of those dominoes videos. It was honestly pretty impressive.)

I honestly can NOT wait to be able to finally fucking clean in the main floor. Every surface is covered in grit and cat hair. I start sneezing the second I walk into the room. There's just no way to squeeze through all the stacks of boxes to do anything about it and it's frustrating as hell.

During one of our podcast recordings there was somebody new in the audience who asked in the chat if housemate is a hoarder because he could see the stacks of boxes and furniture on the screen over their shoulder. NO FRIEND, BUT I CAN UNDERSTAND WHY YOU MIGHT THINK SO.

Onward and upward.

( Questions of Days )

***

The Good: Elderly Gentleman Cat was weighed by the vet this past week and is starting to regain some mass on the new chicken regime. Fuzzy bastard eats better than I do.

The Bad: Only now he associates the microwave with chicken so he runs over and starts shrieking at me every time I'm near it. And since the microwave sits under the shelf we use in lieu of a kitchen counter I can't even make a coffee without him getting under my feet and yelling like a ban sidhe announcing my imminent departure.

The Ugly: In the 20+ years I have lived with the housemate I have not yet managed to convince them not to pick up dirty towels from the floor and hang them back up. This led to me wiping my hands on a towel yesterday and getting a fist-full of stale cat food. I made the exact same noise as my cat.

***

Had an argument with my dad's wife about Xmas plans - she wanted to go to her favourite tea-room on Tuesday. The place is tiny. It seats maybe 12 people max in a single row of tables and since most of their business is take-out, there is a constant stream of unmasked people standing directly behind your chair the entire time you eat. We did it last year based on her promise that we would be seated "well away from people" and I swore I wasn't doing it again.

We have Covid, influenza, RSV, walking pneumonia, and strep making the rounds right now, I have asthma, my dad has COPD and SHE'S NOT FUCKING VACCINATED, Jesus Fucking Christ.

My sister stepped in and said she would be happy to cook in their kitchen, so we're doing that instead. Sister gave me the jobs of bringing desert and feeding her enough wine to get her through the evening without smacking anybody.

***

There is a great deal of thumping and banging going on somewhere outside my house and... fireworks? Is that a new Xmas thing?

***

Tomorrow is dinner with the lovely and talented and most excellent cook BC. There will be turkey. I have been informed there might even be leftover turkey. Leftover turkey is pretty much my favourite food ever and I will not be sharing it with the cat.

[Edited to fix the typos I never seem to be able to see before I hit "enter".]

( Questions of Days )

***

I had to go to the bakery today to pick up some bread and since I had mentioned custard tarts the other day I bought myself one.

I have been absolutely ravenous the last couple of weeks - I cannot seem to stop eating and I am especially craving carbs. It finally occurred to me today that this might be a direct result of the cold. My body has decided 'well, if this is how we live now, better build up an insulation layer.'

The cats were upstairs with me today while I worked and they yelled at me until I finally gave up and plugged in an electric heater. I don't usually use the heater - that whole trying to save money thing - but today it was bothering me more than usual.

The cold also means I haven't been doing yoga because I'm so stiff and tight. I'm starting to feel the impact of that in my back.

**

Adventures of having an elderly cat continue. The current project is to try and put some weight on him. He loves human food, but the problem is that he also has a fragile stomach so he often doesn't tolerate any food that's a change.

I cooked some chicken the other day and I've been experimenting with giving him a little bit at a time. The main result I can report is that he now runs up and shrieks at me whenever I use the microwave. So far I've discovered that one teaspoon is about the maximum he can eat without chucking it all over the floor, so win? I guess?

**

Work is absolutely kicking my ass, which is the main reason I have been so low energy for everything lately. I have not done any writing or drawing or anything creative in a lot of weeks. I am trying to do some journaling, but even that's hard.

This too shall pass.

November 2023
1 – Extra Mile Day: When was the last time you went the extra mile for someone, or someone went the extra mile for you? Tell us about it.

That's one of those questions that's hard to answer because it's just part of normal life. I stayed late at work to help somebody out? I do as much stuff as I can for the Old Man? People will go out of their way to help me if I'm stuck on something. That's just normal life, isn't it?

2 – Stress Awareness Day: How stressful is your everyday life? How well do you deal with stress? Do you have any tried-and-true strategies for handling stress?

HAHAHAHA O my fucking God.

I CAN TELL YOU that right now I am drinking too much and sleeping too little. I'm still working out every day, and that keeps me mostly sane, but also that's... really not keeping up right now.

Money has become A Fucking Problem. I just need to keep it together for another six months. Tomorrow before I go for my weekly Old Man visit I have to swing by the bank FOR THE THIRD FUCKING TIME and ask them AGAIN for the cheques on the credit line that opened THREE FUCKING MONTHS AGO and have not been able to use because I don't have any way to get the money out. And then maybe Monday I'll try to get the phones sorted out so we're being billed separately.

Yeah. So. sTreSS. I am aware of it. Thanks.

I had an interesting conversation with my girlfriend this week about how I appear much more stressed in my DW entries than I do when she talks to me in person. That seems really weird to me, because I have been venting about this non-stop for months. Like really I'm not sure why she hasn't told me to shut up yet.

And it's been sticking in my mind because that appears to be a life-long thing for me, and I have no idea why. I tell people something Is A Problem and Holy Shit Does This Need To Be Fixed and Here It Comes: The Consequences and I use my words and explain what I mean in as much detail as I can and I ask them if they understand and they say yes. And then when the dust settles they say, "Oh I didn't know you meant it."

And I'm kinda like... Why not? What is it about my body language or my words that makes me sound like I don't mean it? I genuinely have no idea.

( (most of) a month of days )

***

Gentleman cat is obviously feeling better. He is, however, milking it for all he's worth. He has housemate convinced that he must be hand-fed at every meal or he shall waste away from hunger.

***

I visited the Old Man last Friday and it just so happened to be the day they were holding their vaccine clinic in the residence - they had arranged for a pharmacist to come in and give everybody both their flu and Covid shots. I took him into the room and while I was sitting with him after, it occurred to me to ask, "Can I have one too?"

"If you fill out the forms, I'll give you a shot." Perfect! So both are now sorted, easy and convenient. One in each arm so I was sore on both shoulders for a couple of days but that was it. I lucked out and got the Pfeizer, the Moderna always kicks my ass.

***

I took Monday and Tuesday off work and just - dug through my to-do pile. Mostly making a kajillion phone calls to banks and doctor's offices and making sure all the bills are paid. I now have spreadsheets for renovation bills, Old Man bills, monthly household bills, AND one for trying to put together a post-housemate-moving-out budget because spreadsheets is how I feel like I have some kind of grasp over what's going on and therefore manage to fend off just succumbing to full-blown panic.

Ahem.

I'm getting really close to the deadline where the house has to be fucking finished. It's making me more than a little bit frantic.

Breathe. Trying to remember to breathe.

( an entire month of questions )

***

I feel like I kinda fell off the planet for a few weeks there. I mean... I was busy but I'm always busy. I think sometimes I just need to go sit in a corner and feel sorry for myself about it before I can actually get down to work.

sigh. So this is me, getting back to work.

***

Toronto went from being 30 degrees for the first week of October to dropping about 20 degrees overnight. My office is freezing. I normally go around in bare feet up here, but I'm not acclimatized to the temperature yet, so it's sweaters and woolly socks and hot tea for me.

***

Kitchen has been fully insulated, dry-walled & mudded. Sanding is supposed to start this week. Mental note: throw some sheets over the electronics in the morning. They said they would hang some extra plastic but that shit gets everywhere.

As for the basement, I have no fucking idea. That pile of concrete on my front lawn that I posted on (checks notes) September 4 finally left this past Thursday. And apparently the mason couldn't come in until that was out of his way first.

The builder said he'd be back on Wednesday and would take the time to talk to me about what's going on. Honestly, my biggest complaint about this guy is his lack of communication. If he said up front "doing this part is going to tack on an extra six months" I would have made very different choices.

And he's going back under the knife in November and will be off work for two months after that. So he has a month to get the basement done if it's going to be finished before the housemate moves out and I have absolutely no reason to believe he's going to be able to pull that off.

*makes stressed noises*

This fucking house.

***

Took the Old Man to the pub for Thanksgiving. I wanted to find a nice restaurant, but wanting something wheelchair accessible, and either close by or transit accessible, and with either a heated patio or adequate ventilation - well, I might have been able to find something given time, but when he said he'd be just fine at the pub I just went with it.

"The pub" in this case is a place across the street that is huge, usually almost empty, has excellent ventilation (mostly it's a very old building with high ceilings & big garage-door windows so it's drafty as hell) and the staff are incredibly sweet to him. So fuck it. Pub it is. They have good beer, good food, and lots of both. He was entirely happy with it.

I know he's going to want to do the same thing for Xmas, so we'll see where the numbers are at.

***

Also waiting for Ontario Health to start jabbing people with the new booster. It's supposed to be available at the end of the month. Yes I know everybody else has had it for ages, but live in Doug Ford's province.

Think the flu shot is out now at least, maybe I'll get that out of the way first.

Question from July 17 (I am never getting caught up here, am I?)
17 – Tattoo Day: Do you have any tattoos? If yes, how many, what and where are they? If you don't, would you ever consider getting one? Is yes, where on your body would it be, and what would you likely get tattooed? If no, why not?

I have three tattoos. A Pegasus on my shoulder that I got when I was 18, tribal piece on my calf from my 30s and a scorpion on my back I got just before the pandemic started.

I would love to have more ink, but it's expensive and I always seem to have important things to do with my money.

***

House progress! Contractor sent me this picture from the back.


You know, looking at that picture it looks like they put the basement door directly under the kitchen door? Not sure how they're planning on dealing with that, they were supposed to be beside each other.

And of course the utter chaos on our itty bitty front yard. Honestly, our neighbours are so patient.


Also visible in that picture, the cracks in our porch where the rebar frame has completely rusted away and the broken steps. Because This Fucking House.

***

It is a billion fucking degrees in Toronto this weekend. I finally gave up and sealed up the place as well as I could and turned on the air conditioning so I'll be able to sleep.

So of course I'm wearing socks because their is a cold air vent right under my desk so my feet are cold. While the rest of me is dripping sweat. Bodies are so stupid.

My sister interviewed me today for a book she's writing about menopause. So maybe it's just menopausal bodies that are stupid. One of the questions was about a list of reported effects she has collected and one of them was "smelling different" and I said "YES! I smelled different after my hysterectomy! And again when I hit menopause. And now on hormones I'm different again!" It's really disconcerting.

So it's not just me being weird again.

***

I am going to have to do some serious number-crunching and figure out where I can trim my budget because money is... not great. Everything is costing more than it was supposed to, and every delay adds to our expenses. We have a certain amount that gets put aside every month out of the household budget that is supposed to go to the renovation account, but it's being almost completely eaten by the cost of storage. Housemate and I had a conversation about seeing if we can rearrange the furniture in such a way that we can fit in more boxes because that would let us scale back on the size of storage we are paying for. That would definitely help. I'm supposed to take a week of vacation at some point this month, so it would be good timing.

IN THEORY I should be able to rearrange the stuff that's stayed in the house if the renos are going to be finished in the next few months. Like if I know I won't need it before next summer, it can go behind a stack of boxes. BUT I HAVE BEEN BURNED BEFORE PEOPLE.

***

More appointments for Old Man next week. More work stuff I'm trying to organize. I have to have a difficult conversation with my boss next week. Ugh. I am so burned out.

I once met a group of (decidedly drunk) people in a Hamilton gay bar. My ex drove them all home and whenever he asked for directions by saying, "Straight through here?" they would all yell in unison, "NO! GAYLY FORWARD!"

So you know. The only way past is gayly forward.