Yeah, I've heard some very heartbreaking stories from adoptive parents. On the other hand, missing the first three months of their child's life, and the experience of having their child as a newborn, would have to be painful, too. And, I don't think we need to protect the adoptive parents from all pain and risk. No one else in the situation is protected from that, after all. It's heartbreaking, painful, and risky all around. No getting around that, and no reason the adoptive parents shouldn't share in that.
I'm sure they did do their best, back then (and I think it is still done that way in some cases, just a lot fewer now). I just think we know more now. Some children do grow up with attachment disorder, in spite of being settled into wonderful homes by the time they're a few months old. Not most, but some. To me, this (along with what my heart tells me when I imagine myself in these babies' places) is clear evidence that the experience is traumatic for many, if not most, babies. For most, not traumatic enough to have lasting consequences, but still traumatic. So I think it's worthwhile to minimize the risk of that to them, as much as we can.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
zvi
(no subject)
Date: 2007-01-04 03:29 pm (UTC)I'm sure they did do their best, back then (and I think it is still done that way in some cases, just a lot fewer now). I just think we know more now. Some children do grow up with attachment disorder, in spite of being settled into wonderful homes by the time they're a few months old. Not most, but some. To me, this (along with what my heart tells me when I imagine myself in these babies' places) is clear evidence that the experience is traumatic for many, if not most, babies. For most, not traumatic enough to have lasting consequences, but still traumatic. So I think it's worthwhile to minimize the risk of that to them, as much as we can.