Hemlock B Bootsalotta

I have a nasty habit of turning on the wrong element. Shortly after we moved in here, I put a pot of soup on the stove, went in the bedroom, smelled smoke, saw smoke gushing in under the door frame, and bolted into the kitchen to discover that I had set two packages of spices on fire. Putting it out was no problem, but the apartment was full of smoke, which then poured out the windows. I was terrified someone would call the fire department, because our apartment was obviously on fire. Instead, the super just appeared at the door and asked if everything was OK. I'm sure "I set some spices on fire" was a Likely Story. Especially in this building (with its weird glows and strange smells and one-eyed Russians who suddenly charge off into the night).