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You wanted in and now you're here
Jul. 14th, 2014 04:36 pmOn Thursday I got diagnosed with the early stages of glaucoma. I have drops for it. They sting like a motherfucker.
The advantage of having this much practice at the Yet Another Fucking Medical Issue process is that I have managed to condense the feeling mopey part until I can now get it out of the way in about 6 hours. So at least my expanding medical file doesn't get into the way of life essentials like getting the laundry done.
However, it did make me finally cop to the real reason I am so crap at doing things like physio and eating properly - and lately even doing so much as taking fucking vitamins - it's because it just seems so pointless. I can get the arthritis and the vertigo and the depression under control and the meat-sack will just find another way to fuck with me. So why bother?
I realize that's going to sound really self-indulgent to the people who have no choice but to tightly manage their health issues. Hell, it sounds self-indulgent to me and it's my brain that's doing it. So you know, I should probably do something about that.
Also, you want to know what's really freaky? One of the possible side-effects of the drops is that they can turn your eyes brown. Permanantly. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about having brown eyes after all this time, but woah. It's like what would happen if you played if a Crystal Gayle song backwards.
The advantage of having this much practice at the Yet Another Fucking Medical Issue process is that I have managed to condense the feeling mopey part until I can now get it out of the way in about 6 hours. So at least my expanding medical file doesn't get into the way of life essentials like getting the laundry done.
However, it did make me finally cop to the real reason I am so crap at doing things like physio and eating properly - and lately even doing so much as taking fucking vitamins - it's because it just seems so pointless. I can get the arthritis and the vertigo and the depression under control and the meat-sack will just find another way to fuck with me. So why bother?
I realize that's going to sound really self-indulgent to the people who have no choice but to tightly manage their health issues. Hell, it sounds self-indulgent to me and it's my brain that's doing it. So you know, I should probably do something about that.
Also, you want to know what's really freaky? One of the possible side-effects of the drops is that they can turn your eyes brown. Permanantly. I'm not entirely sure how I feel about having brown eyes after all this time, but woah. It's like what would happen if you played if a Crystal Gayle song backwards.