Pt 1. I think one of the reasons I like conflict to be out in the open is because it's then so much easier to make an evaluation as to whether or not there is a salvageable relationship or if it's time to go one's separate ways. Or if the conflict in question si just one person trying to bully or demonize the other.
That might be a function of how my brain works. I'm a big fan of the testosterone system where everybody hits each other and then goes home the best of friends, their emotions now at least expressed if not resolved.
Pt 3. You know, one the places where my "be honest" impulse runs into rocks is that I also strongly believe in minding my own damn business. If somebody asks me what I think or what's going on I will tell them. Telling people I think they are wrong isn't hard for me. The trouble is that we don't really live in a culture that encourages asking questions like that - or giving straight answers if somebody does.
It so happens that the friend in my initial example is experiencing drama because of some specific decisions, some of which I don't agree with. We haven't really discussed it. Friend hasn't asked my opinion and I figure that unless zie does, it's none of my damn business. But you know, if it was regarding something big enough that I should decide to stop being friends over it, it's big enough that I should at least be honest about the reason why.
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zvi
Re: thoughts generated by your comment
Date: 2008-11-16 06:01 am (UTC)That might be a function of how my brain works. I'm a big fan of the testosterone system where everybody hits each other and then goes home the best of friends, their emotions now at least expressed if not resolved.
Pt 3. You know, one the places where my "be honest" impulse runs into rocks is that I also strongly believe in minding my own damn business. If somebody asks me what I think or what's going on I will tell them. Telling people I think they are wrong isn't hard for me. The trouble is that we don't really live in a culture that encourages asking questions like that - or giving straight answers if somebody does.
It so happens that the friend in my initial example is experiencing drama because of some specific decisions, some of which I don't agree with. We haven't really discussed it. Friend hasn't asked my opinion and I figure that unless zie does, it's none of my damn business. But you know, if it was regarding something big enough that I should decide to stop being friends over it, it's big enough that I should at least be honest about the reason why.