I don't care if people don't like me based on my actual merits (or lack of same), but I really, really don't want to be doing stuff that hurts the people I care about. If I'm doing it, and I don't know it, I want somebody to TELL me so that I can cut it the fuck out.
The situations that I find really difficult are when I've done something to hurt someone inadvertently that turns out to be really hard to make right . . . it's something I've been faced with recently, and I'm not really sure what to do other than to do my absolute best to make up for my mistakes.
Sometimes, though, the 'mistakes' are in situations where someone is reacting out of their own issues, and while I did somehow cause offense, said offense was greatly magnified because of said issues. (i.e., I committed a molehill-level error, and it was made into a mountain because that person was under high stress or it was a particular trigger for them.)
I'm really uncomfortable with people talking about me in those situations -- I'd like to resolve it directly with the people involved, and I don't want shit-talk going on by people who have nothing to do with the situation and don't understand what actually happened.
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zvi
(no subject)
Date: 2008-11-16 06:31 pm (UTC)I don't care if people don't like me based on my actual merits (or lack of same), but I really, really don't want to be doing stuff that hurts the people I care about. If I'm doing it, and I don't know it, I want somebody to TELL me so that I can cut it the fuck out.
The situations that I find really difficult are when I've done something to hurt someone inadvertently that turns out to be really hard to make right . . . it's something I've been faced with recently, and I'm not really sure what to do other than to do my absolute best to make up for my mistakes.
Sometimes, though, the 'mistakes' are in situations where someone is reacting out of their own issues, and while I did somehow cause offense, said offense was greatly magnified because of said issues. (i.e., I committed a molehill-level error, and it was made into a mountain because that person was under high stress or it was a particular trigger for them.)
I'm really uncomfortable with people talking about me in those situations -- I'd like to resolve it directly with the people involved, and I don't want shit-talk going on by people who have nothing to do with the situation and don't understand what actually happened.
*gah*
-- A :/