I disagree with that statement. I never believe that all that is needed is an apology.
I didn't say 'need'. I said 'want'. If you don't believe that an apology is sufficient, then what do you perceive the other person needs to no longer feel hurt? If the person you've hurt says "All I require is an honest apology", why not take them at their word and spare yourself the stress of second guessing? Again, you may be making these situations much harder on yourself.
When you are having a hypoglycemic episode, is "sorry" going to help? Or do you need food?
A hypoglycemic episode is not something anyone does to me. It just happens if I don't eat, and I make it my responsibility to make sure I do eat regularly.
If someone hurts me physically, then yes, more than an apology is required. However, people who hurt me rarely do so physically.
If I'm mentally/emotionally hurt, then an apology does help me quite a bit. I see an apology as a meeting place for me and the other person involved to make amends and discuss what went wrong. I try very hard not to hold grudges, and I will always accept an honest apology. To me, an apology says "Your feelings matter to me and I'm sorry I hurt them", and that's always a good place to start a discussion from.
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zvi
Re: defining fragility
Date: 2002-10-01 03:46 pm (UTC)I didn't say 'need'. I said 'want'. If you don't believe that an apology is sufficient, then what do you perceive the other person needs to no longer feel hurt? If the person you've hurt says "All I require is an honest apology", why not take them at their word and spare yourself the stress of second guessing? Again, you may be making these situations much harder on yourself.
When you are having a hypoglycemic episode, is "sorry" going to help? Or do you need food?
A hypoglycemic episode is not something anyone does to me. It just happens if I don't eat, and I make it my responsibility to make sure I do eat regularly.
If someone hurts me physically, then yes, more than an apology is required. However, people who hurt me rarely do so physically.
If I'm mentally/emotionally hurt, then an apology does help me quite a bit. I see an apology as a meeting place for me and the other person involved to make amends and discuss what went wrong. I try very hard not to hold grudges, and I will always accept an honest apology. To me, an apology says "Your feelings matter to me and I'm sorry I hurt them", and that's always a good place to start a discussion from.