if I were a rhetorical question, I would look like this

[the_siobhan]

Is it possible for somebody who is pro-life and somebody who is pro-choice to be friends?

Is it simply a matter of difference of opinion? Or is it more than that? Is there an underlying difference in values that makes it impossible to be friends?

What do you think?


What I'm listening to right this second: Stromkern

Comments

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

they are our own minds to change and no one can tell us why we have to change them. That is our individual decision in everything.
Yup, which is pro-choice. ;)

[ravensee.livejournal.com]

So yeah, I don't think it's fair to not choose to be with friends with a person solely because they disagree with your point of view.

If they disrespect you because of your point of view, ie. make fun of you or bully you, then that is a different matter.

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

I don't think it's fair to not choose to be with friends with a person solely because they disagree with your point of view.
For most things this works. Like if someone is Catholic, and I'm an atheist, we can certainly be friends, and agree to disagree on the existence or absence of God. You like lima beans and I don't. Fair enough.
For this issue though, it's very had for me to feel respected by someone who wants agency over my body. They can say "Well yeah I guess abortion is okay BUT you shouldn't have had to do it" well yeah I did have to do it. Many women have to do it for a lot of reasons. Anyone thinking that they know better what I should do with my body, is not my friend.

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

Erm, to clarify that, because Steph brought up a good point.
If they say "Oh abortion is a tough thing to go through" fine. It's the "Abortion is okay BUT you could have kept it/ gave it up for adoption/whatever" isn't supportive to me. It's second guessing me.
I'm afraid I'm not making that distinction clear, here and elsewhere.

[ravensee.livejournal.com]

"Abortion is okay BUT you could have kept it/ gave it up for adoption/whatever."


Yeah, that's not being a friend to you. That's actually something that I find really rude and disrespectful and not at all friendship-material.

[medakse.livejournal.com]

If they say "Oh abortion is a tough thing to go through" fine. It's the "Abortion is okay BUT you could have kept it/ gave it up for adoption/whatever" isn't supportive to me. It's second guessing me.

And, of course, it's assuming that every pregnancy is perfect and cost-free and completely easy on the body.
Which just isn't true.

I'm adopted, so many people have told me, "hey, at least your mother didn't abort you."
Sure, that made sense when I was 13, and had never thought about the ramifications of laws on my body, but now, I just say, "rather, I'm thankful she took the time to find a good family to place me with."
Because she did that. And I'm grateful.

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

I'm adopted, so many people have told me, "hey, at least your mother didn't abort you."
I am too, and I've had that exact experience. (See WAY above)
Where I was born, you weren't placed with anyone, it was lottery really. My folks were next on the list. Which was excellent because they are fucking fantastic. :)

[medakse.livejournal.com]

I am too, and I've had that exact experience. (See WAY above)
Where I was born, you weren't placed with anyone, it was lottery really. My folks were next on the list. Which was excellent because they are fucking fantastic. :)

I love that we love our parents :)

So many other adopted children I've met have had issues. We rock the casbah, apparently :)

[mathochist.livejournal.com]

I think you're saying that you wouldn't feel supported by, and wouldn't want to be friends with, someone who believed that you had done something *WRONG*. Is that accurate?

[ravensee.livejournal.com]

I can understand that. I guess what I am trying to say is that I find this issue to be very personal and that I am pro-choice as a general opinion because I do believe in every woman's right to choose.

But as an individual opinion where I am conversing with someone in my group who thinks they know better what I should do with my body....hmmm..you bring up a good point here.

The thing is, are they telling me I have no right to an abortion if I needed it? Are they saying I am the lowest of the low for having one? Then.....they're not my friend.

If they simply feel that they wouldn't choose abortion for themselves, then they are still my friend if they respect my right for having one.

[pir-anha.livejournal.com]

i don't choose my friends because it's "fair". fairness is ... a category error for friendship. i choose my friends based on ... oh, it's complicated, but it has a lot to do with what delights me, and with what i want to surround myself in life, what sorts of things i want close to me. it's completely not fair, because perfectly decent people who bore me stiff will never be my friends, no matter whether we agree on abortion or not. *wry grin*.

so i have friends who cover a wide range of the spectrum of beliefs. and yup, some are anti-abortion and some are pro-choice, some of them would never have an abortion, and some have had one -- but none of them bomb abortion clinics, or have casual abortions instead of birth control, or kill others in wars of aggression, because those are not things that delight me, and i view such actions as representing large enough character flaws that other traits are unlikely to make up for it. i don't want to be close with such people.