musings on the meta

[the_siobhan]

I've been having an onging discussion with the_axel over the last few weeks about the design of LJ and how I think it often serves to encourage really bad behaviour. Or maybe "encourage" is the wrong word. I think it creates a climate where certain kinds of bad behaviour are really easy to do and so people tend to stumble into them without maybe even realizing what they are doing.

If I understood the debate correctly (it usually happens over several beers) Axel's stance is that it's not the fault of the tool when somebody uses it badly. Whereas I think that by configuring tools in a certain way, you encourage certain kinds of use. Kind of a "if the only tool you have is a hammer, pretty soon every problem starts to look like a nail" kind of situation.

And I think LJ is a particular kind of hammer.

I've seen friends behave in ways that made me squirm with embarrassment for them, at how high-school and immature they were being. And I know they are doing it because they think they can't be seen, that invisibility makes it ok or at the very least harmless. I've seen people manipulate the facts or just flat-out lie to make themselves look like the victim and the good-guy. And I knew that they were doing it because it's really easy to get stroked and have people outraged on their behalf if they bend the facts just a little bit.

There are entire communities who exist solely as a forum for people to be assholes. And the people who post there encourage and applaud each other for their assholishness until everybody starts to think that such behaviour is normal and acceptable. And then they start tracking it out into the rest of their interactions with the world like dogshit on a sneaker. The entire childfree community is a prime example of that particular flavour of bullshit.

And it's not that I think that people don't do shitty things in person, or through other types of communication. It's the LJ seems to be ideally suited for that particular kind of nonsense, with all the filters that let me choose who reads what I write. Or I could just slag people off in public and ban them from being able to defend themselves. And it's tempting sometimes. I hate that shit, it makes me break out in rants and still sometimes it's tempting when something has happened that has pissed me off. I could do it by email but it's so much more effort that it just doesn't occur to me. On LJ it's just a point-and-click away.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not on a LJ suxOrs kick and I'm not about to delete mine. I love the fact that I can have a little rantlet like this and get discussion and feedback from all kinds of people. But I'm occasionally tempted to leave LJ for some other kind of blog format, just because I don't like how high-school it can be at times.

And calling the reading lists "friends"? Dumbest idea ever.

Comments

and another thing....

[missjanette.livejournal.com]

I think one of the things that has happened is that ppl have gotten more sensitive as more ppl have gotten on the internet. Years ago on usenet, you'd regularly roast someone's ass & then get drunk with them at the bar. Even on local lists like chigoth back in the day - we'd call eachother pigfucker & then go out & party together. If there was ever any actual animosity, most of it was a goodnatured sort. Sure, there were some ppl I fucking loathed, but that loating did not come from the fact that we'd argued. Nowadays, you disagree with someone & it's all OMFG U R A MEEN WON. There's a difference between going "i think you're full of shit, here's why.." & going "i'm so offended I'm going to take my big black ball home & talk shit about you behind a filter." The issue (for me, anyway) lies with whether or not I think the person will hear what I have to say and maybe consider their actions in the future. If you're going to piss me off repeatedly & I call you on it repeatedly but you continue to do things in front of me that piss me off, I'm probably eventually going to fuck off and possibly talk some shit about you. Not bc I expect you to change who you are, but bc I'd like for you to fucking consider me (as a part of your readership &/or if you actually are my friend and respect me) & at very least give me a warning or a disclaimer or SOMETHING that lets me know my fucking head might blow off after reading it.

(this is getting long. might be more later. )

Re: and another thing....

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Ha. I remember having a BIG NAME-CALLING ARGUMENT with... was it Jim Dugan? And then he came up to me in NYC because he recognized the hair and I dragged him around and introduced him to everybody I could find. And he was really really cool.