en solo

I need new socks. I need new underwear. I need a new bra. I need new jeans. I need new boots. I need a haircut. I need a fresh dye job. I need to go to the dentist. I need a manicure. I need my neck cracked. I need my back rubbed. I need to soak my feet. I need to have my eyes checked. I need to have my head examined. I need to find a plumber. I need to find a roofer. I need a filing cabinet. I need to phone. I need to email. I need to consolidate. I need to budget. I need to go running. I need to worship. I need a vacation. I need 10 more hours in the day. I need two more days in the week. I need a muse. I need a plan of attack. I need to remember. I need to sort. I need to remind. I need to follow up. I need to follow through. I need to keep track. I need to judge. I need to know. I need to appreciate. I need to vent.

I need a nap.

"I'm Brian." "No, I'm Brian!" "No, my wife and I are Brian!"

This is some of the funniest shit on the internet.