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angst-a-go-go
Jan. 27th, 2004 11:14 pmI'm trying to decide what I am going to do about my job.
I have gotten to the point where I just can't fucking stand it there any more. The work is boring. The boss is a cunt. The drama and the backstabbing and pettiness and the constant fucking bitching is mind-numbing. The pay is shit. The shifts are killing me. (The new schedule has me working all three shifts in a fortnight period.) I'm at the point where I dread going -- and I'm feeling trapped, which is Siobhan's Number One Psychosis Trigger of All Time.
I knew this place was going to have a two-year lifespan before it started driving me nuts. And I've been there for just over that.
But this is the thing, I stay there because it's really really flexible. I can get holidays whenever I want them. I can switch shifts with people if there are specific times I need to get off.
The work I do for LD50 requires a lot of weird-ass hours. I spend a surprising amount of time talking to people who keep office hours, so being able to be accessable during a weekday is a distinct advantage. But I'm also constantly dealing with situations where I'm at shows and venues at night, and at least half of the other people in the company work 9-5, so having my evenings free on a semi-regular basis is essential. Give me a couple of full days off in the middle of the week, and I can accomplish 90% of my to-do list in a couple of days. But having every weekend booked would get right in the way.
So even though I hate hate hate the shifting schedule it's the main advantage to keeping this job. It also sure as hell doesn't hurt that I can be home to deal with contractors when some part of the house falls off.
If I had a year or two where I could work on LD50 and NOTHING ELSE, I'm convenced I could make it profitable enough to support me. But I don't have the money to take that time off of everything else, so it only gets my attention half of the time.
If I go for another job in the same company, I'd have to work static shifts. I could hunt for a job elsewhere, but that takes time. And I'm fucking swamped to the tits now, I honestly don't know how the hell I could find the resources to job hunt on top of everything else that I'm doing.
But if I stay -- I'm miserable.
I really have no fucking clue what I'm going to do.
I have gotten to the point where I just can't fucking stand it there any more. The work is boring. The boss is a cunt. The drama and the backstabbing and pettiness and the constant fucking bitching is mind-numbing. The pay is shit. The shifts are killing me. (The new schedule has me working all three shifts in a fortnight period.) I'm at the point where I dread going -- and I'm feeling trapped, which is Siobhan's Number One Psychosis Trigger of All Time.
I knew this place was going to have a two-year lifespan before it started driving me nuts. And I've been there for just over that.
But this is the thing, I stay there because it's really really flexible. I can get holidays whenever I want them. I can switch shifts with people if there are specific times I need to get off.
The work I do for LD50 requires a lot of weird-ass hours. I spend a surprising amount of time talking to people who keep office hours, so being able to be accessable during a weekday is a distinct advantage. But I'm also constantly dealing with situations where I'm at shows and venues at night, and at least half of the other people in the company work 9-5, so having my evenings free on a semi-regular basis is essential. Give me a couple of full days off in the middle of the week, and I can accomplish 90% of my to-do list in a couple of days. But having every weekend booked would get right in the way.
So even though I hate hate hate the shifting schedule it's the main advantage to keeping this job. It also sure as hell doesn't hurt that I can be home to deal with contractors when some part of the house falls off.
If I had a year or two where I could work on LD50 and NOTHING ELSE, I'm convenced I could make it profitable enough to support me. But I don't have the money to take that time off of everything else, so it only gets my attention half of the time.
If I go for another job in the same company, I'd have to work static shifts. I could hunt for a job elsewhere, but that takes time. And I'm fucking swamped to the tits now, I honestly don't know how the hell I could find the resources to job hunt on top of everything else that I'm doing.
But if I stay -- I'm miserable.
I really have no fucking clue what I'm going to do.