ich bin ein auslander

First impression of the Netherlands: It's very green. It's also very clean.

First impression of the Dutch: They all look disturbingly healthy. Very tall and and fresh-faced and wholesome. It's kind of freaky.

The impression that will stay with me the longest: I have never seen so many bicycles in one place in my life before. In fact, I think if I added up all the bicycles I have seen in my life before there are still more of them here.

hotel menu item that will have me falling over giggling until i'm 95

"How about rounding off the evening with some hard-core porn."