the ticking never stops

I took this weekend to get some of the crap in my house sorted out. During the entire process of de-cluttering my dad's house I have been coming home and dumping boxes and bags of Stuff in piles all over the first floor, so I spent a day trying to get that sorted. In the process I discovered that either really big mice or very small rats have been leaving a trail between the boxes, so I broke out the mops. There is another pre-existing stack of boxes at the back of the house that should probably be inspected but for the moment I am thinking that will get done in a couple of week's time. (It's only a problem if you disturb it, right? Right.)

There are four boxes of vinyl. Apparently my dad stole my Fleetwood Mac album back in the day, and since my name was written on it my Wicked Step Mother decided that all the vinyl therefore belongs to me. I also got their turntable so I can't really complain about it. There are also multiple bags of tools, as I cleaned out the shed and just threw into a bag everything that wasn't 90% rust. Both vinyl and tools are being placed firmly into the "deal with in the winter" slot in the calendar.

***

I went out to buy stuff yesterday and man, shopping on a Saturday in Toronto is an amateur mistake at best but I wanted the gf for moral support and she works during the week. She is my go-to support person for buying anything related to clothes because she actually is knowledgeable about things like fashion and styles and cuts and she is exceptionally good at looking at something on a hanger and knowing if it will also look good on a body.

So I bought a suit today and it was literally the easiest and most stress-free shopping experience I have ever had in my life. I brought that up to her as we were walking away - it was ten times easier than buying a bra. And she said, OK but you have to understand, men are lazy.

Which made me laugh my ass off, but also I don't think she's wrong.

***

I put a bird-feeder on my office window - one of those cheap things that sticks on with big suction cups. I figured it would give the cat something to look at.

It sat unused for months and I kind of forgot about it, although I will say having it there seemed to fix the problem of birds thinking they could fly through my closed window. Well this week a juvenile cardinal found it. And she has brought an entourage of sparrows who I guess were following her around? All I know is that there are bird fisticuffs outside my window every day and it's entertaining as hell.

Also brought the bird poop, but that's on me I guess.

***

Possibly as a result of my being away a lot in the last couple of weeks, Old Man Cat has been a complete asshole the entire time I've been home. The non-stop screaming I'm kind of resigned to. And it's entirely possible the poop bombs have been the result of an unhappy stomach and not intentional on his part.

But then he figured out that I don't like it when he sits on the table where I eat. I leave towels draped over most of the surfaces where he hangs out, but surprise poop where I eat is the bridge too far for me. Yesterday I scrubbed off the table, went into the kitchen to retrieve my plate (and his) and as I walked back into the living room he jumped onto the table, looked me dead in the eye and sat down and started screaming.

Well fuck you too, pal.

So I'm eating at my desk for the time being. I scrubbed the table and covered it with tape with the sticky side up and I'm going to leave that for a week or so to see if it's long enough to break the habit.

Fuckin' cats, man. Brain the size of a walnut and 90% of it is devoted to how to be the biggest dick possible.