rhetorical question

[the_siobhan]

Why does Axel always want me to make COMPLICATED and potentially LIFE CHANGING decisions before I've had my first coffee?

Comments

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

Just to fuck with you. M always wants to discuss home reno and decorating options as I'm dashing out the door to work.

So, what decisions is Axel throwing at you?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

No idea. I hadn't had my coffee yet. :-p

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

Oh, God, you too? I swear, if I dare to creep out of the bedroom before everyone else is gone, it goes something like this:

- Mom, will you sign this form?
- Honey, which should I choose?
- Bark, bark, bark! (Hey, hey, hey!)
- Mom, seriously, sign my permission form for my abortion.
- Honey, I can't decide which hooker package to pick for my yearly bonus.
- Mom, you didn't sign it yet. Also, can I smoke crack?
- This one comes with twins, but it's all girls, and you never know when I might go gay.
- Bark, bark? Bark, bark! (Yo, where's the condoms? The neighbor's cat is horny!)
- Mom, Virginia has her hoo-ha pierced and I don't. I'm going downtown after school.
- Did you want a hooker, too, honey? I could get an add-on package.
- Mom, you don't love me if you don't sign this form. Also, I need $20.
- Bark, bark, bark, bark! (Me and the other dog are going to take over Venezuela, open the damn door so we can get on it!)
- Honey, where's my keys? Also, I think I'm going with the twins.
- Mom, there's no pudding! Also, sign this other form so I can get a unicorn-pegasus tatooed on my forehead. And it's $40.
- Bark, bark, bark! (The coup is waiting on your opposable thumbs, the cat next door is in!)

This is why I don't get out of bed until after 9am. It's scary out there.

[disastrid.livejournal.com]

this made me lol like crazy. a+.

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

My World<->Brain interface is SO BROKEN before I have coffee.

[marchenland.livejournal.com]

For the same reason women ask important questions of their lovers 17.8 seconds after said lover has just had an orgasm:

It's the easiest way to get the answer you want.

If you grunted, "Whatever you want. Coffee, now," then he probably got the answer he wanted. Even if you just grunted, it can be taken as the answer he wanted.

To be fair, I don't think MOST people do this knowingly.

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

women ask important questions of their lovers 17.8 seconds after said lover has just had an orgasm

The only question I ask at that point is the most important one:
Are you going to get the fuck* off me or what?

I think morning people are just so EXCITED that it's morning and THE WORLD IS BACK and OMG, SALE ON FLOORING, that they don't realize that the rest of us are zombying around.

*Yes, I say it like that. I am impatient and claustrophobic and want to go to sleep now, thanks. ALL DONE. The ride has come to a complete halt. You may exit to your left. My partner says I'm sekritly a man. :p

[marchenland.livejournal.com]

I have the same issue. I'm all, "NO CUDDLING. GET AWAY. I SLEEP N...zzzzz...."

I'm also apparently a man. My partner gets very annoyed. He's seriously a girl.

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

The whole 'women want to cuddle' thing must be some kind of a conspiracy or serious projection issues. Because, dude, I am over it the minute I can remember where I left my feet.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

In my world, "cuddle" means drape limp arm over the warm thing and pass the fuck out.

[excess-and-oohs.livejournal.com]

me too. either that or eat.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

I think morning people are just so EXCITED that it's morning and THE WORLD IS BACK and OMG, SALE ON FLOORING, that they don't realize that the rest of us are zombying around.

Your comments in this thread have made my evening. I thank you :)

[ashbet]

HAH!! Very nice ^_^

I always try to instigate conversations right before K and I go to sleep, which results in huge annoyance on his part, since he falls asleep within 5 minutes of his head hitting the pillow, whereas I am awake, perky, and chatty for about an hour.

I would never dream of attempting to have a proper conversation in the morning before coffee, though -- horrors!!

-- A <3

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

MMMMM CRYPT-Y!

[whippingboy.livejournal.com]

are we still having the morning sex debate?

[serpentstar.livejournal.com]

Because life is shit, and then you die. ;)

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Well, somebody's going to die...

[serpentstar.livejournal.com]

Heh-heh. :) I hate typing LOL, but I did...

[inulro.livejournal.com]

Because he's the sort of alien who doesn't appreciate how crucial that first (and second, and third...) cup of coffee is?

[greylock.livejournal.com]

I've given up my morning coffee.
Shortly thereafter I started working at 5am (by choice).
Since I used to be a night owl *and* coffee addict, I can only assume that I have shifted the parametres somewhat.

/Never understood the early morning coffee thing.

[kalmn.livejournal.com]

i don't do coffee, but my housemate's gf was trying to talk to me before i'd had a shower on saturday.

talking to the betsy before she has had a shower is a great way to shorten the hell out of your lifespan.

[victorianrose23.livejournal.com]

Boys will be boys, won't they? They want to get you at your most vulnerable because, like marchenland said, they're mosre likely to get the answer they want. ;) heh heh

[ladyclayton.livejournal.com]

bwuh?

[dali-muse.livejournal.com]

You'd think he'd know better.

Even my staff at work knows not to ask me stupid stuff before I've "woken up".

[greylock.livejournal.com]

Because you might be alseep still?

[(Anonymous)]

When it happens to me I think it's I'll be quick to agree so I don't have to deal with it further. I think also because the answer is sometimes along the lines of "Why did you set up the bomb near the entrance without checking whether the doors were locked, I had to punch the glass!"

or

"Cheese is out the door!"