J is for all the Junk in my head
Oct. 20th, 2009 09:35 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_siobhanI've been conducting an experiment on my brain. I didn't actually intend to conduct an experiment on my brain. In fact it's only been this past week that I figured out that I was doing was essentially conducting an experiment on my brain.
Mostly what I've been doing is neglecting (again) the maintenance work that stops me from getting more depressed. So my brain chemistry gets worse. Only at the same time I have other stuff going on in my life that is producing lots of the happy brain chemicals. So I don't notice that I'm getting worse. So like the disease (or whatever you want to call it) continues to progress but without any symptoms.
Until one day when my head exploded and I was left sitting in the shrapnel and wondering what just happened.
So yeah. That was kind of neat, in a "Oh wow. Look at what pushing that button does!" kind of way.
On the plus side, the lack of symptoms means that getting back into the maintenance side of things will pretty much be a piece of cake.
Mostly what I've been doing is neglecting (again) the maintenance work that stops me from getting more depressed. So my brain chemistry gets worse. Only at the same time I have other stuff going on in my life that is producing lots of the happy brain chemicals. So I don't notice that I'm getting worse. So like the disease (or whatever you want to call it) continues to progress but without any symptoms.
Until one day when my head exploded and I was left sitting in the shrapnel and wondering what just happened.
So yeah. That was kind of neat, in a "Oh wow. Look at what pushing that button does!" kind of way.
On the plus side, the lack of symptoms means that getting back into the maintenance side of things will pretty much be a piece of cake.