>I disagree with that statement. I never believe that all >that is needed is an apology.
I didn't say 'need'. I said 'want'. If you don't believe that an apology is sufficient, then what do you perceive the other person needs to no longer feel hurt? If the person you've hurt says "All I require is an honest apology", why not take them at their word and spare yourself the stress of second guessing? Again, you may be making these situations much harder on yourself.
I keep thinking that we are talking across each other here...
I'm not talking about hurt. I'm talking about damage.
It's like the difference between a bruise and a broken bone. OK, sure. All you might say that you want is an apology. However, if I really do give a flying fuck about the other person, a call to an ambulance might just be in order as well.
>When you are having a hypoglycemic episode, is "sorry" going > to help? Or do you need food?
A hypoglycemic episode is not something anyone does to me. It just happens if I don't eat, and I make it my responsibility to make sure I do eat regularly.
I used hypoglycemia as an example because I figured it was an experience that I could present that you could relate to -- it requires something more than just platitudes and expressions of regret to fix it.
"Sorry" don't do shit to repair damage that's been done. It doesn't repair broken bones or smashed china. And there are things that people do to each other that "sorry" won't fix.
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zvi
Re: defining fragility
Date: 2002-10-01 08:17 pm (UTC)>I disagree with that statement. I never believe that all >that is needed is an apology.
I didn't say 'need'. I said 'want'. If you don't believe that an apology is sufficient, then what do you perceive the other person needs to no longer feel hurt? If the person you've hurt says "All I require is an honest apology", why not take them at their word and spare yourself the stress of second guessing? Again, you may be making these situations much harder on yourself.
I keep thinking that we are talking across each other here...
I'm not talking about hurt. I'm talking about damage.
It's like the difference between a bruise and a broken bone. OK, sure. All you might say that you want is an apology. However, if I really do give a flying fuck about the other person, a call to an ambulance might just be in order as well.
>When you are having a hypoglycemic episode, is "sorry" going
> to help? Or do you need food?
A hypoglycemic episode is not something anyone does to me. It just happens if I don't eat, and I make it my responsibility to make sure I do eat regularly.
I used hypoglycemia as an example because I figured it was an experience that I could present that you could relate to -- it requires something more than just platitudes and expressions of regret to fix it.
"Sorry" don't do shit to repair damage that's been done. It doesn't repair broken bones or smashed china. And there are things that people do to each other that "sorry" won't fix.