the_siobhan | the winter of my discontent (Reply)

I screamed at Axel the other day. Not because I was angry, I just wanted to raise my voice a little to draw his attention to somebody crossing the street and the crazy animal that lives in my head just came shrieking out of my face. So I apologized. And he said something along the lines of, "Wow, I didn't realize how badly this thing is getting to you." So I gave him that croggled side-eye, like the one you give to somebody who says they didn't realize how stressed you are after you've been telling him how horribly stressed out you are on a pretty much daily basis for over a month.

But I think the worst part is mostly over. One more visit to do a final clean up after the workmen - I think I'm going to put that off until Friday after work - and the condo is ready to go. Hopefully it will sell quickly and I'll be able to get that part over with. And hopefully I'll be able to manage showing it to people without blubbing all over them.

TCR is having a big adoptathon this weekend if you happen to be considering getting a cat. We ended up with another foster, a beautiful black cat named Abigail. She had been in a store but needed to be moved into a home for medicating due to a parasite. That turned out to be a bad idea. I'm fine with medicating pets, but doing it in a situation where 1) the animal doesn't have a pre-existing relationship where she trusts me and 2) in an open-concept house where there are lots of places to hide - yeah, not so ideal. Having to hunt her down every time just adds to everybody's upset over the whole thing, I have been late for work every day this week and the poor cat now runs as soon as she sees me.

Two more days and that's over with. And I have made a mental note to say no next time that particular request comes up.

Then there's the fucking comics. You know, the ones that I got yelled at to back off and mind my own business about six fucking months ago. Well now that the condo has to be sold, guess who is the only person who has room to store them? Boy, good thing I got prevented from organizing the fucking things back when all the volunteers actually had the time to do it. Now they will just have to sit in my living room until July. Yay.

And there's medical stuff going on that I can't talk about because it's not my stuff, but holy shit. And Axel caught the flu. And walking anywhere sucks. And after I showed up at my physio appointment it turned out that the receptionist hadn't told her in advance why I was coming in spite of my detailed explanation, and she doesn't do vestibular rehab, so that was a waste of an hour and now I still have to find somebody and I haven't gotten around to it yet. And the brain study people keep emailing me because I'm weeks overdue for the last round of interviews. And I have at last two other medical appointments for different things that have to be scheduled and I just haven't done it. And I have to schedule an interview for the NEXUS renewal and I keep getting emails that I haven't done that yet either. And my house is a fucking mess and I'm eating bread for dinner because I am too overwhelmed to clean and food prep is pretty much light years beyond me. And work has just hit IN-FUCKING-SANE levels of busy and my boss keeps "dropping by" to ask if we have done these neat incentive team-building things yet, which we haven't because apparently my working from home with vertigo issues for most of last week wasn't the clue needed that maybe PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT ME could go to the fucking dollar store to buy decorations or hang a couple of posters.

ahem

So this is the point where I stuff the banshee back behind my eyes and take a deep breath. And concentrate on one foot in front of the other, even if I'm doing it on a surface that feels like it's tilted. "This will be over on Friday." "That one I can deal with next week." "Put this other one on the list for the weekend."

This is a a fucking awful winter. But it won't last forever.