epi-epilogue

[the_siobhan]

Memorial dealt with and survived with the assistance of Xanax and dissociation.

So that's over with. Except for the, you know, Darrell being dead part.

Monday night Axe took me out and got me very very very drunk.

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I got this for his ashes. (He loves scorpions.)

I won't wear it every day because it's a honkin' big thing. But it will be a thing I can wear when I want to.

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Yesterday I did my first tour of a retirement apartment. I picked what I thought was the best one of the bunch to start with (this one fwiw) so I would have a basis for comparison when we start looking at more affordable units.

Some really good advice I got when I first started doing research is to watch the residents and see how much they interact with each other and the staff - a lot of people chatting and engaging with each other is a good sign that the people who live there are happy and active.

It passed with flying colours on pretty much all criteria. Multiple residents saw us with the staff and came over to tell us how great the place is. There is a ton of stuff to do, lots of social activities and lots of places to just hang out and interact with people, including several games rooms and a pub. The living space is a little smaller than they're used to, but that would be the case in any apartment. And all the apartments have a full kitchen, something that appears to be uncommon.

Literally the only downside is that it's expensive. Unfortunately money may be the factor that counts most.

I'm going to go through the list and pick out some others to check out, probably starting next weekend.

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I walked into a barber shop near my house and gave him $20 to shave the sides of my head. I'd forgotten how much of a difference it makes to the amount of heat and weight on my head. It makes waiting for the bus in this weather marginally less unpleasant.

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Work brought in some new software and now everything is broken. Second verse, same as the first.

Comments

[elusis]

Are you looking at retirement apartments for yourself, or for family? (Surely not for self just yet...?)

[elusis]

Also: Good job you, good job Axe.

[the_siobhan]

My mother and her husband. My mother just turned 80, her husband is older, she falls, he uses a walker/cane. They live in a house with stairs and we have been bugging them for years to move.

Just in the last little while we have seen slightly less resistance to the idea of moving to a place that is less work to maintain and I decided that I would screen a few places and bring her to visit the ones that looked like the most fun. She used to work in a nursing home that provided palliative care back in the 70's and I think that's still what she pictures when she thinks of retirement homes.

[elusis]

Of course she does, the poor dear.

Excellent plan. You're a good daughter.

[ironed_orchid]

Getting very drunk sounds like the best possible scenario.

Good luck in the retirement apartment search.

[greylock]

Getting very drunk sounds like the best possible scenario.

The sequel though.

[greylock]

Memorial dealt with and survived with the assistance of Xanax and dissociation.
So that's over with. Except for the, you know, Darrell being dead part.
Monday night Axe took me out and got me very very very drunk.

I feel there's more bad than good here.
But, it's over.

I walked into a barber shop near my house and gave him $20 to shave the sides of my head.

I always figured you'd have clippers. You, or Axel.

[the_siobhan]

We do! Also the complete and absolute inability to draw a straight line.

Axel can maintain it for me now it's done, but for the first time I need somebody who can make it close to even.

[greylock]

I just always think of you with an undercut.... Makes sense. I have to do mine myself. I can't see the back of my head and its a thing.

[the_siobhan]

I quit shaving my head about... three years ago? And now it's down to mid-boob.

[greylock]

Mind *blown*
:)

[miss_squiddy]

OK, that scorpion (and everything in that Etsy shop) is brilliant. Such a simple but cool idea.

[runcible]

I'm glad you're through the event itself. I know memorials are supposed to temper grief, but it's a one-size fits all solution that doesn't work for everyone, nor every circumstance.

I hope you can find gentle ways to contain this new grief and reality. I'll send you a toast the next time I'm at the local bar.

[sabotabby]

Getting drunk seems like the right idea.

[nicklausse]

When dad died, seemed like everyone had their own bottle of Xanax. Then we found his stash in the house and split that too.

Glad it's over and you made it through.