your ass is next in line
Jul. 24th, 2022 12:20 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_siobhanI continue to worry about the Old Man. He hasn't been leaving his room for meals and because he's not moving around he's losing what little mobility he gained from rehab. I took him to an appointment on Monday and I was shocked at how weak he was.
He gets help through the home support program with things like showering and dressing, so I've reached out to them about bumping his hours and also to ask what supports they have for physio and mental health. They are overworked and understaffed of course, but I'll see what they say. He could afford to pay out of pocket, if I can get him to admit there is even a problem.
Realistically, I think he's just given up.
***
On the house front: the shouting I mentioned in my last post has yielded positive results as the committee got back to me right away and our hearing for the variance has been set for August 17. That's a fuck sight better than the six-month turn-around we were originally quoted. The contractors have been in, mostly to rip up the floor and drop off their building materials.
I may have a functional kitchen by the end of the year. Meanwhile I've been carting stuff to BC's apartment and using her oven whenever I need to restock the freezer with ready-meals.
The cats get locked upstairs every time the contractors come over until the work is safely done for the day. Dr River Song is convinced that the upstairs is the Best Place In The World when they aren't allowed up here but it is the Absolute Worst the second the door gets closed behind her. Lord Brock mostly just climbs onto the weight bench next to my office chair and falls asleep.
They normally aren't allowed upstairs because they can't be trusted unsupervised - not only are they both super destructive, but this is where I stash all my poisonous plants. Construction hours mostly overlap my work hours however, so they can hang out there while I remote.
***
Next on the to-do list, get the divorced finalized and get my finances sorted. The first is just a matter of going into City Hall and filing the paperwork. (We hope.) The second will be actual work. I track every penny that goes through the household account, but I have no idea where my own money is at and I'm sure there are insurance claims and reimbursements that need to be submitted. I really need to cobble a budget together too, especially if we end up needing to go into credit to get this fucking kitchen finished.
Last year in September I rented a cottage for a week with friends just to get out of the city for a bit and I would love to do that again if I can swing it. I'm going to use that as an incentive to get my money in order, if I can set enough aside for even a weekend out of here.
***
Recent thing I have been mulling over, how framing a project that "we" should start as a way to solve a problem or improve a process has so frequently been the precursor to dumping responsibility entirely in my lap. Haven't really teased out much more than that yet, but it has definitely been a pattern.
He gets help through the home support program with things like showering and dressing, so I've reached out to them about bumping his hours and also to ask what supports they have for physio and mental health. They are overworked and understaffed of course, but I'll see what they say. He could afford to pay out of pocket, if I can get him to admit there is even a problem.
Realistically, I think he's just given up.
***
On the house front: the shouting I mentioned in my last post has yielded positive results as the committee got back to me right away and our hearing for the variance has been set for August 17. That's a fuck sight better than the six-month turn-around we were originally quoted. The contractors have been in, mostly to rip up the floor and drop off their building materials.
I may have a functional kitchen by the end of the year. Meanwhile I've been carting stuff to BC's apartment and using her oven whenever I need to restock the freezer with ready-meals.
The cats get locked upstairs every time the contractors come over until the work is safely done for the day. Dr River Song is convinced that the upstairs is the Best Place In The World when they aren't allowed up here but it is the Absolute Worst the second the door gets closed behind her. Lord Brock mostly just climbs onto the weight bench next to my office chair and falls asleep.
They normally aren't allowed upstairs because they can't be trusted unsupervised - not only are they both super destructive, but this is where I stash all my poisonous plants. Construction hours mostly overlap my work hours however, so they can hang out there while I remote.
***
Next on the to-do list, get the divorced finalized and get my finances sorted. The first is just a matter of going into City Hall and filing the paperwork. (We hope.) The second will be actual work. I track every penny that goes through the household account, but I have no idea where my own money is at and I'm sure there are insurance claims and reimbursements that need to be submitted. I really need to cobble a budget together too, especially if we end up needing to go into credit to get this fucking kitchen finished.
Last year in September I rented a cottage for a week with friends just to get out of the city for a bit and I would love to do that again if I can swing it. I'm going to use that as an incentive to get my money in order, if I can set enough aside for even a weekend out of here.
***
Recent thing I have been mulling over, how framing a project that "we" should start as a way to solve a problem or improve a process has so frequently been the precursor to dumping responsibility entirely in my lap. Haven't really teased out much more than that yet, but it has definitely been a pattern.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-07-26 02:42 pm (UTC)Yes, my experience is if you need physio and other assistance, you're going to have to be an active participant in agitating for it and taking your own initiatives. Not sure the system expecting depressed elderly and disabled people or their families to do that is humane or appropriate. <3
"We need to do this," vs. "I'm going to be the one to have to do this," is a thing I deal with every day, too. Pretty sure the answer is sharing responsibilities with no one. If only!
(no subject)
Date: 2022-07-26 02:55 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2022-07-26 03:08 pm (UTC)Yes yes yes to all of this! I tend to do my very best bc I don't want to regret big things, but if you're going to make yourself sick with overwork, then what do you do? Put on your oxygen mask before helping the others in the handbasket, but absolutely help them, I think. Where it costs money and I don't have it, yeah, there's a little bit of this with my mom. Can't do much about that. :/