37.5% harder to kill than a cellphone
Jun. 28th, 2003 09:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_siobhanHow to kill a cell phone in five easy steps:
1. Plug into charger -- leave next to the computer because I'm vaguely expecting a few calls.
2. Decide noodles will be a fast easy lunch, and put water on to boil.
3. Sit down at computer to get a few minutes of work done while I'm waiting.
4. Realize with a shock that I've been plugging away for 40 minutes and bolt for the kitchen.
5. Catch not one, but two ankles in the charger wire. Send phone drilling into the wall face-first.
How to make Siobhan's head explode :
1. Start with two jobs. Make one rewarding, but slow to establish financially, and the other tedious but essential for financial survival. Make both stressful, busy and with insane scheduling, but likely to require the most investment of time on weekends.
2. Add two relationships. Give both people standard work-weeks so they will be most likely to want to "do something together" on weekends.
3. Add a couple of close friendships that always seem to be difficult to find time for. (For bonus points, insert regular get-togethers of large social group on, you guessed it, weekends.)
4. Add a couple of family members justly complaining that they never see her at all.
5. Add a long-lost relative. One that's it's impossible for her not to want to invest time in getting to know.
6. Simmer while stirring slowly, gradually increasing heat & pressure over time.
7. Just as the mixture is on the verge of boiling -- buy a house.
8. DUCK!
(Although I am really looking forward to the house.)
1. Plug into charger -- leave next to the computer because I'm vaguely expecting a few calls.
2. Decide noodles will be a fast easy lunch, and put water on to boil.
3. Sit down at computer to get a few minutes of work done while I'm waiting.
4. Realize with a shock that I've been plugging away for 40 minutes and bolt for the kitchen.
5. Catch not one, but two ankles in the charger wire. Send phone drilling into the wall face-first.
How to make Siobhan's head explode :
1. Start with two jobs. Make one rewarding, but slow to establish financially, and the other tedious but essential for financial survival. Make both stressful, busy and with insane scheduling, but likely to require the most investment of time on weekends.
2. Add two relationships. Give both people standard work-weeks so they will be most likely to want to "do something together" on weekends.
3. Add a couple of close friendships that always seem to be difficult to find time for. (For bonus points, insert regular get-togethers of large social group on, you guessed it, weekends.)
4. Add a couple of family members justly complaining that they never see her at all.
5. Add a long-lost relative. One that's it's impossible for her not to want to invest time in getting to know.
6. Simmer while stirring slowly, gradually increasing heat & pressure over time.
7. Just as the mixture is on the verge of boiling -- buy a house.
8. DUCK!
(Although I am really looking forward to the house.)
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(no subject)
Date: 2003-06-28 04:44 pm (UTC)As for the house, congratulations! Are you getting it all by your lonesome this time? That's probably the safest way of going about it.
(And having done a spell check, I've been told that "congratulations" does not, in fact, have a "d" in it anywhere. Who'd have thought it.)
house!
Date: 2003-06-29 12:39 am (UTC)I've spent the last three months sharing an apartment small for two people with him and his roommate, and I haven't wanted to kill him more often than, hrm, once a week or so, so I think that bodes well.
The new place will eventually contain apartments once we're done with it, so that will help too.