What Might Have Been
Jan. 23rd, 2006 04:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_siobhanI wrote a big long screed about how cool it is to watch the parents on my f-list talk about the daily trials and tribulations of raising their kids and how much I love reading about it. And how bitterly insanely jealous I am of people who actually get to watch their kids grow up. But it was making me cry so hard I finally said fuck that, and deleted the whole thing.
So tell you what, parents give your kids an extra kiss from me when you put them to bed tonight and we'll leave it at that.
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I've been reading all these FIND A JOB IN 24 HOURS GET THE JOB OF YOUR DREAMS WRITE A RESUME THAT MAKES MANAGERS WET THEIR PANTS EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT books in the last couple of weeks, and I've finally figured out what my problem is. In order to get a job, you have to be good at sales. A resume is basically a formalized sales pitch.
Sales is pretty much the ONLY thing I can't do.
So there's me fucked.
It also explains a lot about the blatant level of incompetance I encounter at every level in every company I've ever dealt with for, well, anything. They don't hire people who can do the damn job. They keep hiring fucking salesmen.
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I think I am in a dysfunctional relationship with the world.
So tell you what, parents give your kids an extra kiss from me when you put them to bed tonight and we'll leave it at that.
I've been reading all these FIND A JOB IN 24 HOURS GET THE JOB OF YOUR DREAMS WRITE A RESUME THAT MAKES MANAGERS WET THEIR PANTS EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT EXCLAMATION POINT books in the last couple of weeks, and I've finally figured out what my problem is. In order to get a job, you have to be good at sales. A resume is basically a formalized sales pitch.
Sales is pretty much the ONLY thing I can't do.
So there's me fucked.
It also explains a lot about the blatant level of incompetance I encounter at every level in every company I've ever dealt with for, well, anything. They don't hire people who can do the damn job. They keep hiring fucking salesmen.
I think I am in a dysfunctional relationship with the world.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:02 am (UTC)Oh, a-fucking-men on the resume/job/sales thang.
And btw, m'dear, I completely and utterly missed wishing you all the best for your birthday, didn't I? You've been in my thoughts heaps over the past few weeks, and of course, my brain suddenly slapped me t'other day with the realisation of just why. D'oh! :) Mea culpa, mea culpa and all that. Hope you had a good'un, gorgeous. *pint*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:21 am (UTC)So as a direct result of this everybody I know forgets my birthday. :-)
It was very low-key this year. I had a quiet stay at home with Axel and it was exactly what I felt like doing.
Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 03:29 pm (UTC)though, wrt to resumes, if you want another vector for feedback, let me know. I've been in the midst of interviewing candidates to replace my old position; so my mental resume reviewing muscles are all warmed up.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:05 am (UTC)We then end up with the situation where the engineer in the interview (ie me) picks candidate A because he or she seems technically competent and he or she seems like a person we could work with and the manager picks person B because he or she managed to trot out some rehearsed dialogue about being a team player, despite the fact that the person is plainly an imbecile and a quite objectionable fuckwit.
Of course, guess which one gets employed. Yes! I've even written on my interview notes "UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES EMPLOY THIS PERSON" and then found out later, without any consultation with me, that he's been employed. Then we had a hell of job getting rid of him because he was the worst engineer in the history of the universe, and a prize pillock to boot.
Grrr...
Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:05 am (UTC)Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:16 am (UTC)Back when I worked in a bar I remember passing on a particularly horrible resume in complete confidence that the person was so obviously a bad bet that they'd never be hired - only to discover that I had grieviously underestimated the power of stupid people in high enough positions of authority. In that situation it worked out ok for me though, she was so bad I made was able to steal all her customers and get all her tips right up until she got fired.
Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:47 am (UTC)The thing about software engineering is that once you've learned 3 or 4 different versions of the same skill (like programming languages, for instance) then you pick up numbers 5, 6, 7 etc. really easily because 7 is just like 4 but with a bit of 3 thrown in, if you see what I mean.
I guess it's the same in a lot of trades. Once I get an interview the whole thing becomes a lot easier.
I have no idea how many copies of my resume I have sent out. Lots. I reckon I get an offer from 1 outof 3 interviews that I attend though.
Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:50 am (UTC)Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:53 am (UTC)Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:48 am (UTC)The thing about software engineering is that once you've learned 3 or 4 different versions of the same skill (like programming languages, for instance) then you pick up numbers 5, 6, 7 etc. really easily because 7 is just like 4 but with a bit of 3 thrown in, if you see what I mean.
I guess it's the same in a lot of trades. Once I get an interview the whole thing becomes a lot easier.
I have no idea how many copies of my resume I have sent out. Lots. I reckon I get an offer from 1 outof 3 interviews that I attend though.
Re: Oops.
Date: 2006-01-23 10:52 am (UTC)1 job offer per 3 interviews. And 1 "over qualified". However, I send out 500+ resumes per interview. I'm not kidding.
My goal this time 'round is to reduce that number. I just have to figure out how to go about it.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:11 am (UTC):(
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:22 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:23 am (UTC)get a good salesman to write your resume for/with you. sit down, and talk about each job you've had, and let them write it all up. i'm reasonably good at selling myself, but get stressed out and stutter and fall over (literally) at interviews. :/
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 10:33 am (UTC)It's not like I don't know people who are brilliant promoters. I just have some work to do first.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 11:08 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 06:41 am (UTC)But there's just something about not knowing what it was like to watch her grow up...
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 11:26 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 12:17 pm (UTC)However, I'm not bad at selling other people. I just reviewed Erika's resume for her, and I'd be happy to look at your too, if you like.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 01:11 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 01:13 pm (UTC)That's a category we're both fucked in.
There's another thing we agree on. Management, even that swiftly dying breed of management that came up through the trenches, generally listens more to the one who gives a pretty show instead of someone who comes in and tells them the truth and how things work.
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 02:22 pm (UTC)I think I am in a dysfunctional relationship with the world.
Eventually the world will get over it and we'll be just fine. LOL
Luv,
Dave
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 05:44 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 08:13 pm (UTC)missing ya! Dropping you an email with contact information!
*hugs*
D
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 02:51 pm (UTC)You'll probably be there when I do tonight :), I'd be happy to share them.
-
With regards to finding work, I have two experiences landing gigs I liked.
Currently - sheer desperation and luck.
Previously - an agency who 'sold' me, up to the interview, then I was on my own.
-
Dysfunctional is an odd word.
PS this is the agency I used.
Date: 2006-01-23 07:29 pm (UTC)Re: PS this is the agency I used.
Date: 2006-01-26 06:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 03:32 pm (UTC)*hugs*
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-23 08:39 pm (UTC)She gave me a 'Big Grinny Grin From England' to send back as she isn't "near enough to give her a cuddle and she might get my germs!"
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 06:42 am (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-24 02:09 am (UTC)PS. This week is fine so far. Weekend is good too. What works for you?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-26 06:44 am (UTC)I'm free on the weekend once I've gotten some sleep into me. (I'm on midnight shift.) Is the afternoon good for you?
(no subject)
Date: 2006-01-24 10:39 am (UTC)Funny, I've long known both of these facts - salesmanship and icompetance, and yet I've never thought to put the two together.