random moments in Toronto

[the_siobhan]

My house is suddenly full of these massive flies. None of them were here yesterday, and they are all the big heavy-bodied ones that take weeks to get to full size. I have no idea where they came from.

This happens the day after we suddenly notice an unpleasant smell coming from somewhere on the main floor. I've checked all the mouse traps and I can't figure out where it's coming from. I'm starting to get seriously worried that there is something trapped inside one of the walls.

---------------------------------

I took my cousins to Panic on the weekend. It was kind of hilarious. Even more hilarious was the mob of them gamely navigating the Toronto public transit system.

At one point I told one of them, "Don't worry, nobody is going to run you over here. Do you have any idea how much car insurance costs in this city?"

---------------------------------

Axel and I helped a friend move a television the other day, and when we were dropping off the van we passed a storefront with a big sign that said A2Z VACCUUMS.

I, of course, immediately read this as ASS VACCUUMS. I spent the entire trip home cracking up over the ass vaccuums.

I have the exact same reaction every single time I pass the senior's apartments that are located right by the Gay Village - a complex called Fudger House. I swear that my sense of humour is still twelve.

---------------------------------

I was in the middle of the city the other day, and a raptor lifted off a patch of grass directly in front of me to swoop over the road. It had some small mammal dangling from it's talons. It was moving away from me, so I couldn't see it's head, but it was about the right size for a Peregrin, and I've seen them in the city before.

---------------------------------

Later the same day I was on the subway and this guy was in the same car, travelling with a half-dozen puppies of some small breed. Lesson for the guys; you want to be completely swarmed by chicks whereever you go? Travel with a posse of cute baby animals.

The dogs were of course delighted with all the attention.

Comments

[panic-girl.livejournal.com]

My house is suddenly full of these massive flies
geeeeeeeeeeeeeeet oouuuuuuuuuuut

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

It's the fact that we went from zero to a couple of dozen in the course of an houar that has me really freaked out.

[girfan.livejournal.com]

Amnityville house? ;P

[(Anonymous)]

If the walls start to sweat blood, I'm getting the hell out of here.

[redbird]

Where/what is Panic?

And where do your cousins live, that the TTC is a complicated problem for them?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Panic is a monthly clubnight that features 80's music.

The huge majority of my cousins live out in small towns in rural Ontario where there is no public transit at all. So they aren't used to having to figure out how to get anywhere by any method other than driving.

[redbird]

Right. A different world, or at least a different world-view.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Fudger House

Once here there was a PRIDE week dance ... at the Greek Hall.

[greylock.livejournal.com]

Your house is possessed. It's the only rational answer.
Clearly, your actions have woken an unspeakable evil.
Have you spilt blood via some unholy rite? Committed ungody acts?

I swear that my sense of humour is still twelve.

I LOL'd.

[the-fury.livejournal.com]

Fudger House

How in the hell did my twelve year-old sense of humour miss that?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I walked right by it on the way to the Phoenix.

[ravensee.livejournal.com]

OMG the guy with the puppies! Rich and I have seen him everywhere. There's also a guy who is similar around here that does that with an unholy army of whippets. I don't know why they're unholy, just that they are so well behaved!

[squid-pants.livejournal.com]

That shithead with the dogs lives here. He's a fuckhead.

[hobbitbabe.livejournal.com]

Like what kind of fuckhead?

[squid-pants.livejournal.com]

A very inconsiderate one. None of the dogs are house trained. He takes over the laundry room as a showroom as often as possible, and if you want to use the laundry room while he's there the dogs are trying to destroy your clothes as you slip in shit and piss and hear him demand $5000 each for the dogs. He's left the baby carriage full of dogs in the road unattended, that was on monday while I was on my way to work. Now, it wasn't on Spadina, it was on the side street, but it was in the road and he was no where to be seen and I've seen him do that before. A few of the dogs are never in that cart, so they piss in the elevators too and heaven forbid you are ever near him or them, the fucking reek coming off of it all has made me gag. Then there is the unending noise if he's near by. Add into this the fact that he's rude and serial killer creepy and you have one big fuckhead.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Must be a different guy then - these dogs were very well-behaved and extremely clean.

[squid-pants.livejournal.com]

Address matches, it's the same guy, I guess 5 mins on the subway doesn't really let you know what it's actually like to be the neighbour of that creep.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Possibly. But you hate everybody so it's hard to judge.

[squid-pants.livejournal.com]

And I troll ;) Wait a second! I don't hate you or Axel! This whole tower of rage is falling apart!!!!!
Still, I've never hated anyone if they haven't done anything. That guy, in the building, drives us all insane. I should clear up one point, the dogs seem nice actually, just not house trained. If he was off to sell one, I'm sure he made sure everything smelled nice, because they go for a few grand. In the common areas of the building though, revolting. He seems to suffer from a hell of a sense of entitlement and doesn't understand a building must be a community.
And being late for work because I had to watch them in their cart while he just left them on the fucking road and went back into the building for some reason, oh the rage, and it wasn't the first time. The first time he did that was early on a Saturday, when I was still groggy with sleep and off to a weapons training class, hard to resist the urge to smack him around with a stick when you happen to have a really nice piece of white oak on you designed to smack people around.
It's hard to get me angrier than to leave a living creature in a position where it is in danger with no escape route. gets me eaven angrier than realizing I now have to add my socks I'm wearing to my laundry load because that's urine that's made them suddenly wet.

[mr-sharkey.livejournal.com]

I'd suggest leaving a couple of Toblerone bars out, but I like puppies too much.

And yes, there's nothing like having a good solid weapon in your hand to make you want to use it.


M.

[squid-pants.livejournal.com]

Yeah, love puppies too. They may be the ones releasing said fluids, but all I want to do to them is house train them. The guy on the other hand, he just angers me.

[razorjak.livejournal.com]

ASS VACCUUMS ... when you're just too important to shit on your own.

What's that song by Radio Free Vestibules?

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

Axel and I helped a friend move a television the other day, and when we were dropping off the van we passed a storefront with a big sign that said A2Z VACCUUMS.

I, of course, immediately read this as ASS VACCUUMS. I spent the entire trip home cracking up over the ass vaccuums.

"This, ma'am, is the Recto-Vac 5000, with superior wet or dry capacity!"


I have the exact same reaction every single time I pass the senior's apartments that are located right by the Gay Village - a complex called Fudger House. I swear that my sense of humour is still twelve.

Now you know how I feel every time I see a recipe for one of those 'Tunnel of Fudge' cakes.

[raindrops.livejournal.com]

Heh. I was followed by the Cutest. Puppy. Ever. on my walk to work today. His caretaker was chasing him down the street shouting in Vietnamese at him to stop while he was at my heels.

Didn't realize he was following me until his feeder caught up (I thought he was shouting at the guy across the street), but I got smiles and hellos from several cuties on the block in the meantime.

Yes, puppies are a definite +20 on the pull.

[redheaded-pixie.livejournal.com]

dood! that guy used to live around the corner from me. He used to take them for late night walks in my building's backyead. He makes them all wear bells, and would have at least a dozen or more of them with him everytime. Sounded like f-ing Santa Clause.
Seriously, the first time I heard all the bells, I looked at my then partner with this face o_O and said "wtf? Santa? In June?"

[siani-hedgehog.livejournal.com]

i *always* laughed at Fudger House.

[tristam08.livejournal.com]

Heh! ass vacuums that's priceless!

We regularly get shipments through work for Fudger House & get a chuckle at their expense.

The best though is an envelope going to a building in the same area addressed to a 'Mr. Iram Butts'. I almost couldn't work after reading that.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

Oh dear God...I am convulsing silently at my desk after reading that. ;P

[tristam08.livejournal.com]

There was also a real jem addressed to 'Osama Bin-Hidin'
Half the fun at work is looking for irregular names

[tristam08.livejournal.com]

errr Gem...apparently I can't spell today!

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Whatever happened to the name Iram? It seems to have gone out of fashion or something.

[tristam08.livejournal.com]

so it would seem!
At least his parents had a sense of humour.

[caspervonb.livejournal.com]

"My house is suddenly full of these massive flies. None of them were here yesterday, and they are all the big heavy-bodied ones that take weeks to get to full size. I have no idea where they came from."

Did you just start up the heating in the house?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

We fired up the furnace when we had that cold snap a couple of weeks ago.

[lilactime.livejournal.com]

I was in the middle of the city the other day, and a raptor lifted off a patch of grass directly in front of me to swoop over the road.

Were you near Queen's Park? They've apparently had a pile of red-tail hawks take ove the place recently. I've been meaning to go over there and have a look.

Also, if you walk east along the train tracks from your place, there a couple of American Kestrels that have taken up residence along the tracks just east of Dufferin. They like to sit up o nthe big stone wall that runs along Joe Shuster Way and sleep.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Not to far from the Humber, actually.

The first time I saw a Peregrin was when we were right on the Lakeshore by Jameson.

It makes sense we have raptors in the city, we have tons of pigeons and rats in the city, and a ton of roadkill.