BOOYAH

Just got home from the angiogram.

AND MY HEART IS PERFECT. I have a gorgeous, wonderful, beautiful, undamaged, fully functioning heart. All those other tests were WRONG WRONG WRONGGITY-FUCKING-WRONG WRONG!

I am so relieved I can't even tell you.

I have a hole in my femoral artery so I need a baby-sitter for the next 24 hours. I'm also not supposed to drink or do housework or exercise or carry anything heavy for the next two days. Just in case I spring a leak, because you know, that could go sour really fast.

I also have to wait until tomorrow to have a shower. Which is really only a thing because the antiseptic they used is bright pink. It looks like Hello Kitty threw up in my lap.

I was really fucking dreading this test. I got weepy at the specialist when he told me I was perfectly normal and healthy because I was just so fucking relieved and I couldn't stop grinning all the way home. I'm not even stressing out about the mouse shit I just found all over the cutlery drawer.

So how is your day going?