ramping up

I had three beers with/after dinner and I am now drinking a rum & ginger beer. (I love the taste of these things, but I can usually only get through one before my taste buds go holy hell put down the sugar.

Just as well I asked for prompts because the inside of my brain is as dry as the Sahara.

Renos are done, painting is done, hauling furniture is done. D is moved in and somewhat unpacked and the cats are exploring the new digs. Jack by plonking his ass in the middle of the table as we were putting out dinner, and Brock by finding all the hiding spaces in the basement. This tells you everything you need to know about the personalities of the cats.

I plan to do Fuck. All. this weekend.

Maybe I'll post pictures of the cats.

the thing under the stairs

Finished the rum & ginger, had another beer, am now on a G&T. I didn't think I was drunk until I tried to climb the stairs to go to the bathroom. Hello.

I can't convince either of the boys that serving me drinks while naked is traditional. Very sad about that.

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When I was growing up I used to think it was funny when my mother would lose her nouns. "Pass me the... thingmabob over on the... whatsit." Then she would get mad at me because I didn't move fast enough. "You know what I'm talking about!"

She would throw shit at me when I laughed.

So imagine my mortification when I start doing teh exact same thing. I have completely lost control of myh nouns. They're out exploring the prairies or staring moodily into lattes in hipster coffee houses or something while I'm left bereft at home, pointing to what I want and saying, "That... the... thingy!

It's only a little comforting that Axel does the exact same thing. I don't know if he messed up my nouns or I messed up his, but somehow it happend that neither of us can always accurately grasp the names of things right when we want to.

This is really just a long complicated explanation of how we find ourselves with a thing in the house. Not how it came to be in our house, you understand. How it came to be known as the thing. I swear we keep coming up for really cool names for it, but I can never fucking remember them!

Not having nouns makes it kind hard to figure out what happened. My own theory is that when we dug up the floor to put in the posts for the support beam we knocked something lose out of the foundations. Axel keeps pointing at one of the walls we moved and waving his hands around, so maybe he thinks it has something to do with that. Or maybe he just thinks it needs another layer of paint. It's hard t be sure.

So anyway what I'm tryhing to say is that we have a thing in the house.

i don't usually tell people about it because teh few times I tried people were all up in my gears, "What is it? What does it look like? Are you sure you're not imagining things?"

So... I don't know?

I mean, I've seen it. I go down to sleep on tyhe couch sometimes when Axel is snoring really loud and I have woken up to find it sitting on the floor next to the couch and watching me. And I remember thinking at the time that I should tell somebody about it. I'm not sure why I didn't, to be honest. I just keep getting... distracted or something. It's not like it's important, right?

My drink is empty and it's time to go get another one.

I'm sorry, what was I talking about?


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wild_irises asked What kind of horror story grows out of the hard-labor house remodeling that you've been doing?