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30 days in the hole
Jul. 7th, 2019 09:13 pmAxe is out of town this weekend, which is usually the occasion for a massive serotonin dump, but this weekend has actually been... not terrible. I left the house yesterday, ran errands, went shopping for needed clothes (usually a 12 out of 10 on the anxiety scale) and ran into somebody I knew without having to pry myself out from under the metaphorical bed immediately afterwards.
It's been 1000 degrees in Toronto with a humidity of about a billion for the last couple of days. It's one thing to know intellectually that a lot of my anxiety has to do with not being able to fucking breath for months at a time. It's still been a shock to actually experience what it's like when my brain has access to oxygen.
On the other hand, it's possible I am in deep denial and I'm going to fall over completely tomorrow. Guess I'll find out.
I've been threatening to leave the city for years because of the air quality, but at this point I'm pretty resigned to the fact that this is where the job is, and even if I could relocate my mother needs at least one offspring within reach.
I used to love Toronto. Most of what I liked about it has been replaced by cars and condos.
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I've kind of glommed on Good Omens and the Good Omens fandom in a big way for the last week or so, and it occurs to me that the whole people-who-have-no-idea-what-they-are-doing-manage-to-stop-global-genocide is exactly the message that my psyche needs ride now.
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I went out today and took pictures of the backyard just so I could show you all how ridiculous it is. This is from just one single summer of neglect.
( cut for images )
I think at this point we're just going to borrow a scythe and shave it all down. I'll worry about sorting out what we want to do back there next year. Having a vegetable garden again would be nice.
It's been 1000 degrees in Toronto with a humidity of about a billion for the last couple of days. It's one thing to know intellectually that a lot of my anxiety has to do with not being able to fucking breath for months at a time. It's still been a shock to actually experience what it's like when my brain has access to oxygen.
On the other hand, it's possible I am in deep denial and I'm going to fall over completely tomorrow. Guess I'll find out.
I've been threatening to leave the city for years because of the air quality, but at this point I'm pretty resigned to the fact that this is where the job is, and even if I could relocate my mother needs at least one offspring within reach.
I used to love Toronto. Most of what I liked about it has been replaced by cars and condos.
I've kind of glommed on Good Omens and the Good Omens fandom in a big way for the last week or so, and it occurs to me that the whole people-who-have-no-idea-what-they-are-doing-manage-to-stop-global-genocide is exactly the message that my psyche needs ride now.
I went out today and took pictures of the backyard just so I could show you all how ridiculous it is. This is from just one single summer of neglect.
( cut for images )
I think at this point we're just going to borrow a scythe and shave it all down. I'll worry about sorting out what we want to do back there next year. Having a vegetable garden again would be nice.