I spent the night in the mouth of a saxaphone

Kinda fell off the world for a few weeks there. Sometimes I have to walk away from people for a short while and think about how maybe setting everything on fire is not the cleansing path forward I am really looking for.

(I have a self-destructive streak a mile wide, but I am not a fucking idiot. Well not an entire one, anyway.)

Had my first appointment with a therapist today. They body knows, she told me. Also had a massage today for the first time in two years. These things are both self-care.

So what did I miss?

Wrong time, locked in, locked out

We are firmly in the 4th Wave and Ontario continues to open up. My big bosses are bringing people back into the office in October.

The denizens of the Gin Palace are convinced that The Rich People Who Run The Stock Market have just decided that covid is now a normal part of the landscape and a portion of the peon classs will die of it and so all they have to do is make sympathetic noises and just get on with business. Like you know, what they have been doing all along with stress diseases and homelessness and climate disasters.

(I personally am firmly of the opinion that this will NOT be over until we've vaccinated all the people who live in all those poor countries that nobody gives two shits about because they don't have an Olympics team. When the virus no longer has population pools to mutate in, it will stop spitting out new versions that leap-frog over over our available vaccines. So in other words, we might be here for a while.)

For my part I am... I am tired. I am still masking, even just walking down the street. I am avoiding places where there might be crowds.

But I am also taking my mother's husband out for lunch on Saturday, onto a patio, because the man has literally not been outside of his bedroom for anything non-medical for well over year. And if this is risky behaviour, well, he is vaccinated and also 85 and may not fucking live long enough to see a proper end to this bullshit. I have made the unilateral decision that the small amount of pleasure he gets from an afternoon outing is worth the risk to both of us.

I am also making a point of doing this before the anti-vax crowd hits the public school system in September. Because that's going to be ugly.


[EDIT] Is there already a protocol in place for telling servers WARN ME BEFORE YOU ARE MOVING IN TO CLEAR PLATES OR SUMTHIN SO I CAN MASK UP AND NOT CONTAMINATE YOU HOLY SHIT. Or is it just assumed that they are happy to inhale our contamination? I have no idea how things work in the new fuck-the-working-poor regime.