some days it doesn't pay to chew through the restraints

[the_siobhan]

I was woken up at 5 AM by a text message from a co-worker asking me to open for her. Actually the text message came at 4 AM but it took me that long to figure out what that buzzing noise was.

Note that I went to bed last night expecting to be starting work at noon.

At 8 AM - after I had been at work for an hour - the gallbladder attack started.

At 3 PM, sans breakfast or lunch or in fact anything other than a cup of peppermint tea and a metric buttload of codeine, I headed home. I fell asleep on the bus. I dreamed about ants. As I walked home from the bus stop I kept thinking what a good thing it was that we didn't really have ants because we are such crap housekeepers that we would have a bitch of a time getting rid of them.

The first thing I did when I got home was to head into the kitchen to get some food. A movement caught my eye and I looked down to see...

Well. Guess.

About a thousand of them.

Fuggit. I was in no shape to deal with this. I made myself a (non-wheat, non-meat, non-diary, non-egg, fuck, fuck, fuck) sandwich and went and killed elves for an hour.

Now they seem to mostly be gone. Definitely the food they were all clustered around is gone.

Maybe I should just tell people they are really small roombas and put them on the payroll.

Comments

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Nano-roombas. I bet you could sell them on ebay that way.

[ash-pixie.livejournal.com]

I second the nano-roombas. :) Other then that, adding a bit of sugar to diatomaceous earth usually does the trick on ridding a house of ants... Ants eat sugar and ground seashells and promptly die. The End. :)

[minwee.livejournal.com]

It's a more 2000s version of "Sea Monkeys for your Kitchen".

All you need is a web page and some concept art and you could be in business.

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Your day needs to be fired. Out of a cannon. Ugh.

I love the concept of the nano-Roombas though.

[eveofdstruction.livejournal.com]

I was woken up at 5 AM by a text message from a co-worker asking me to open for her.

WTF? I obviously don't the full situation, but how is that okay? Also, re:ant dream, I wonder if you may have seen ants while rushing out the door at the crack of dawn and just not processed the information.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

There are only four of us. Two people are needed to open, one person is needed to close. The middle shift is not essential.

So if somebody can't make it - there are limited options available for filling the gap.

[eveofdstruction.livejournal.com]

That makes sense. It also sucks. <3

[baratron.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that much seems okay. But the text message at 5 am?! It seems an obnoxious time of day to contact anyone, unless you happen to know that your contactee is
a) a scary morning person who'll be bouncing out of bed around then
b) a night owl who'll be just thinking about going to bed
c) in another timezone where it's not 5 am.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

None of those things apply to me. :-p But I'm covering her shift I have to be there at 7.

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

Perhaps you could convince the ants that you are their queen, then have a ready-made army of miniature minions at your disposal.

[katyakoshka.livejournal.com]

Use Borax. Relatively non-toxic for humans as long as there are no infants in the household, cheap, and effective. Sprinkle it at all major entry points, and near any location where you might leave any food around, such as cat bowls, garbage, compost, etc. SoCal is one of North America's ant capitals, so I know whereof I type. :)

Good luck.

[neoliminal.livejournal.com]

What about the uncles?

[ducks]

[dj-doc.livejournal.com]

I never have ants, the little spiders eat 'em all but well I have plenty of spiders...