stepping on land mines
Feb. 27th, 2014 04:34 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_siobhanI've been watching Sleepy Hollow with BC lately. I like it. It's a very silly show with a ridiculous over-the-top premise and lots of over-acting, and the scenes where Crane is confronted with just how much of a fish-out-of-water he is in the 21st Century are cute and funny. And holy shit, a show that not only has multiple POC in major roles, but where the lead characters can be emotionally close and not have romantic designs on each other? How often does that happen?
So anyway, the other night we watched the episode where Crane finds out that after his death Katrina gave birth to a son. And that she had to give him away to keep him safe from the people chasing her. BC leaned in and petted me on the back when that scene came up, but you know I'm pretty OK with that these days. I was fine.
What was a lot less fine was when Crane found out what happened to their son. His foster parents were killed, the boy was put in a home with a sadistic adult and he ends up being killed as well. I used to have nightmares about shit like that. By the end of the episode I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. (And of course, by "tearing up" I mean, "bawling like a baby while a guy in a latex monster mask plays out a Shakespearian death scene on the television screen".)
So you know, episode ends, I blow my nose, we talk about the show a bit, then we talk about other things, etc. I didn't even mention to BC that it bothered me, because it didn't really. It's like a reflex these days.
Then I logged into the computer for five minutes before bed. And looked at Facebook.
Big. Mistake.
My cousin posted some stupid image macro that he was sharing from some Catholic group. It was just the word "abortion" with the b and r scribbled over so that it read "adoption". And of course, the text "share if you agree".
My head caught fire.
I wanted to be able to point out that the two are completely different things; that adoption doesn't make a woman not pregnant if she doesn't want to be pregnant.
I wanted to point out that adoption does not solve the problem of ectopic pregnancies, deep vein thrombosis, gestational diabetes or any of the other fifty fucking billion things that can go wrong, or the pain, exhaustion, edema, hemeroids, acid reflux, expense, doctor's appointments, stitches or any of the other hundred fucking billion things that are a normal part of even a healthy pregancy and that maybe the woman doesn't want to be forced to deal with all this crap.
I wanted to point out that he was sharing an image from an organization that is willing to let women die rather than give them medical care when they are pregnant. That wants to force women to go through all the shit that I went through against their will.
I wanted to point out that as a man, he has a lot of fucking nerve telling women what they should do.
Instead all I could manage was two profanity-ridden screeds that were full of typos because my hands were shaking so badly. I deleted both of them before posting, finally just commenting, "No", then going back and deleting it and unfriending him. The whole time my brain was shrieking "How dare you! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!"
It took me hours to calm down. It felt even the air I was exhaling was hot. If I actually had the power to reach through the computer and murder somebody, I would have a shit-load of explaining to do to my dad's family today.
So uh, apparently I still do have some "stuff" around this topic.
Just maybe not the stuff I thought I had.
So anyway, the other night we watched the episode where Crane finds out that after his death Katrina gave birth to a son. And that she had to give him away to keep him safe from the people chasing her. BC leaned in and petted me on the back when that scene came up, but you know I'm pretty OK with that these days. I was fine.
What was a lot less fine was when Crane found out what happened to their son. His foster parents were killed, the boy was put in a home with a sadistic adult and he ends up being killed as well. I used to have nightmares about shit like that. By the end of the episode I couldn't stop myself from tearing up. (And of course, by "tearing up" I mean, "bawling like a baby while a guy in a latex monster mask plays out a Shakespearian death scene on the television screen".)
So you know, episode ends, I blow my nose, we talk about the show a bit, then we talk about other things, etc. I didn't even mention to BC that it bothered me, because it didn't really. It's like a reflex these days.
Then I logged into the computer for five minutes before bed. And looked at Facebook.
Big. Mistake.
My cousin posted some stupid image macro that he was sharing from some Catholic group. It was just the word "abortion" with the b and r scribbled over so that it read "adoption". And of course, the text "share if you agree".
My head caught fire.
I wanted to be able to point out that the two are completely different things; that adoption doesn't make a woman not pregnant if she doesn't want to be pregnant.
I wanted to point out that adoption does not solve the problem of ectopic pregnancies, deep vein thrombosis, gestational diabetes or any of the other fifty fucking billion things that can go wrong, or the pain, exhaustion, edema, hemeroids, acid reflux, expense, doctor's appointments, stitches or any of the other hundred fucking billion things that are a normal part of even a healthy pregancy and that maybe the woman doesn't want to be forced to deal with all this crap.
I wanted to point out that he was sharing an image from an organization that is willing to let women die rather than give them medical care when they are pregnant. That wants to force women to go through all the shit that I went through against their will.
I wanted to point out that as a man, he has a lot of fucking nerve telling women what they should do.
Instead all I could manage was two profanity-ridden screeds that were full of typos because my hands were shaking so badly. I deleted both of them before posting, finally just commenting, "No", then going back and deleting it and unfriending him. The whole time my brain was shrieking "How dare you! HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!"
It took me hours to calm down. It felt even the air I was exhaling was hot. If I actually had the power to reach through the computer and murder somebody, I would have a shit-load of explaining to do to my dad's family today.
So uh, apparently I still do have some "stuff" around this topic.
Just maybe not the stuff I thought I had.
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 03:20 am (UTC)The baby you gave up contacted you, didn't she? You know she's okay?
(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 05:10 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 05:16 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 06:37 pm (UTC)(no subject)
Date: 2014-02-28 09:31 am (UTC)And looked at Facebook. Big. Mistake.
Indeed.
My cousin posted some stupid image macro that he was sharing from some Catholic group. It was just the word "abortion" with the b and r scribbled over so that it read "adoption". And of course, the text "share if you agree".
I'm not even sure what that means. I mean, I can work out the implication, but I am not sure it makes sense.
Instead all I could manage was two profanity-ridden screeds that were full of typos because my hands were shaking so badly. I deleted both of them before posting, finally just commenting, "No", then going back and deleting it and unfriending him.
Best course of action there. Confrats for holding it together.
Hopefully he wasn't a close cousin.
So uh, apparently I still do have some "stuff" around this topic.
Just maybe not the stuff I thought I had.
This kind of thing always gets you when you least expect it.