don't ever let them make you feel like saying what you want is unbecoming

[the_siobhan]

I had an... odd dream last night. I was walking around in an dark basement bar (I think it was the lower level of Clintons - familiar to anybody who was at the Sunday night of C4.) It was dark and the walls were mirrored and I walked past one of them at one point and saw myself the way I appear in my head.

So when I say I'm body dysphoric, what I usually mean is that the person in the mirror is very much not me. I've never had a super clear idea of what "me" actually looks like, so when I saw myself in the mirror I experienced a sudden shock of recognition. Oh, there you are. Where have you been?

So now I know what I look like.

What is most interesting to me about this dream is that in it I was shirtless and I could see all my scars. The ones I have now, plus the ones I'm going to have when I finally get there.

So if nothing else, this reassures me that my subconscious is very much on board with the direction I'm headed.

***

House stuff continues.

Last I heard from contractor work will now start in October. He's not been great about keeping in touch, but he did warn me he was on the technophobic side, so I'm trying not to get too squirrely about it. In theory we have a storage unit opening up in September so we can start moving our stuff out of the way. In theory.

(In theory, theory and practise are the same. In practise...)

We have had an issue for a very long time where wasps occasionally drop into the kitchen through one of the many holes in the walls/roof and I just pick them up and take them outside. Recently it turned into multiple wasps per day and then Axel got stung in his bedroom (which is directly under the kitchen) so I called an exterminator. I mourn the loss of the pollinators and slug killers from my yard, but it wouldn't do to have the contractors having to deal with wasps when they're tearing down the kitchen.



***

At the same time, for those of you who were around a few years ago, remember there was a tree that fell over and took up our ENTIRE BACKYARD and snapped the telephone pole in half and stopped like an inch from our kitchen roof? Well it's bigger taller heavier sibling has finally been decreed a hazard and we got permission from the city to take it down.

So today the arbourist showed up. He's this burly bearded man with a thick German accent and a tiny green-haired elf assistant and watching them shimmy up and down the trunk like it's level ground had me pinned to the window for most of the day.

It's mandatory that we replace it, but I'm hoping we can do that after both the renovations and the construction of the rail-path behind our house - so next spring or summer. That way we can put it in a spot where it's not immediately going to have a bulldozer run over it. I'd like a fruit tree, but we'll see.

***

People at work keep posting these articles "How to know if you have burnout" and I'm like hahaha are you new?

I've been saving up my most of my vacation for the "we have to pack everything we own and put it in a storage locker" week, but I also booked a cabin in the woods for a week and invited a couple of friends because fuck me but I need to look at a tree I don't know sometime very soon.

And so it goes.

Comments

[cincinnatus_c]

For a second I thought technophobic contractor meant the renos were gonna take a while because he's against power tools. ;)

[greylock]

Don't tell me artisanal renovations wouldn't be ideal... if you weren't on the tools.

[the_siobhan]

Only the power tools required to deal with emails.

[greylock]

So when I say I'm body dysphoric, what I usually mean is that the person in the mirror is very much not me.

I can relate to this.

Last I heard from contractor work will now start in October. He's not been great about keeping in touch

Typical tradie then.

Am I misremembering, or did you have a wasp nest in the walls (or ceiling?) a few years back?

He's this burly bearded man with a thick German accent and a tiny green-haired elf assistant

This made me chortle. And imagine Rummelsnuff as the arborist (the cover of 'Daddy Cool' is the one I would recommend on youtube if this makes no sense, it's the only one I can really stand).

and invited a couple of friends

Well, fine, I WON'T COME! *huffs*
:)

[the_siobhan]

When we first bought the place the entire top of the front of the house between the walls was wasp nest. We figured they had been slowly building it over the lifetime of the house.

[greylock]

Way to make me feel old, yo.

[silentq]

hah, "a few years" :-P
I still tell that story. :-)

[jo]

What is the status of that Covid vaccine you got? Have they given real shots to those who got the placebo yet?

[the_siobhan]

In order to move to the next phase they have to have a certain number of people in the study test positive. The magic number is apparently 160. I talked to the doctor a couple of days ago and they were at 75, so less than halfway there.

[sushispook]

No comment, just kind thoughts. <3

[the_siobhan]

*squishes you*

[silentq]

"So now I know what I look like."

Yay! :-)