i can't fight worth a damn but i take punches like a champ

[the_siobhan]

Funeral has been funeraled.

I am inching my way through the to-do list. I have a book full of colour-coded tags withe file numbers for companies that open files, date & time noted for companies that promise to send me things in the mail, envelopes full of receipts for bills that are paid. It makes it a lot easier that it's not my first time doing this. It makes it a lot easier that I was helping him pay his bills for the last four years.

I have seven large boxes stacked on my couch full of clothes, bedding, and shoes. I found a shelter that will take it all and distribute things to the charities in the city that will make best use of them. My sister is finding people and places who can make use of the medical equipment crammed into my storage locker. I have filled my paper recycling bin twice over and have another big box for paper that should probably best be shredded. I have given away soap and and clothes hangers and glassware and candlesticks and framed prints of chubby children sitting around Christmas trees.

It will feel weird not to go visit on Friday. Instead I have an appointment at his bank and then I will come back here and go through more boxes. When I'm finished sorting through it all I will have a small pile of sentimental items like watches and photos and I will call his sisters and see if any of them want any of it.

And then it will be done.

Comments

[immournia]

*HUGS* It sounds like you're well organized. But I hope you are taking time out for yourself, too. ♥

[the_siobhan]

Kinda? I'm making myself eat good food and I'm making sure I exercise and get enough sleep. It doesn't feel like "me" time, but I know when the rest passes I'll be very glad I did it.

[dissectionist]

There’s a very good book about grief - It’s OK That You’re Not OK - and she makes a distinction in the book about suffering vs grief. We don’t have a choice about the pain of grief. What we have a choice about is the suffering beyond that that’s caused by not taking care of our bodies in the midst of our grief. It’s so easy to not eat, not sleep, not keep to the habits that our body needs. It’s so much harder to find things we can tolerate eating when the grief causes nausea and complete disinterest in food; so much harder to find the energy to exercise when our body is crippled with grief fatigue. So I’m very glad to hear that you’re taking care of your body and looking out for yourself.

[immournia]

It doesn't feel like "me" time, but I know when the rest passes I'll be very glad I did it.

Agreed, 100%. It might not seem like self care but every wee bit counts. ♥

[armiphlage]

*hugs*

[the_siobhan]

Thanks.

[elusis]

You're doing very well.

[the_siobhan]

Thanks. I'm managing. Honestly, being busy is probably the best thing for me right now.

[cornerofmadness]

hugs

[the_siobhan]

Thank you. It's appreciated.

How are you doing?

[cornerofmadness]

Making it through, thanks

[the_siobhan]

Hugs right back atcha.

[cornerofmadness]

thanks

[badly_knitted]

Sending hugs.

[the_siobhan]

Thank you. It really is appreciated.

[greylock]

Everyone else has provided the hugs and commiserations, so... "framed prints of chubby children sitting around Christmas trees"?

[the_siobhan]

My mother's tastes. Look up Trishia Romance.

[greylock]

Well, it's no Tom of Finland.

[the_siobhan]

No sir, it is not.

[disastrid]

You're doing a really good job.

[the_siobhan]

Thank you.

You know, I was looking at the pile of boxes this morning and thinking this is the one downside of being the only person in the family with stable housing. I always get to be the keeper of all the dead peoples' stuff. Is that macabre?

[disastrid]

I guess the reality of death that trickles down to the person who can't deny it or pass it off is always going to be macabre. I'm sorry you're in that position.

[sushispook]

I remember the Patton Oswalt bit where he talks about how, after his wife passed away, he got exhausted by everyone wishing him the best on his "healing journey"... and after awhile, he just wanted everyone to say "congratulations on the next step of your numb slog".

Anyways, congratulations on proceeding through your numb slog of an activity checklist. <3

[the_siobhan]

The "healing journey" bit is the most Californian thing I have ever heard of.

Numb slog is a much better descriptor.

[silentq]

belated *hugs* thinking of you and wishing you the best *bonus hug*