though I walk through the valley of redundancy, I shall fear no downsizing

[the_siobhan]

Yah wanna know what pisses me off? Do you?

Well OK, maybe you don't have that kind of time.

So I'll just tell you about one thing.

Something that always makes me want to shake people by the throat is reacting the news that they have done something wrong with self-pity.

Me: Hey, I don't like that. Don't do that any more.

Person Who Does Not Suck Reaction: Shit, sorry about that. I had no idea... I'll try keep an eye out for that sort of thing, but give me a poke if I mess up again. C'mon, I'll buy you a beer.

Person Who Most Decidedly Does Suck Reaction: I was just kidding around, sorry for being me. Guess I fucked up again, just like I always do. I can't do anything right. I guess I'll go away now and not bother you any more if my sense of humour is so offensive.

You can almost see the staple marks in their forehead.

So what exactly is it that they expect to gain from that particular exchange? Am I supposed to follow them, apologizing for being pissed off? Comfort them, by insisting that no, they are not a total loser, they just have communication issues?

Fuck that. I don't have that kind of spare time.

---------------------

As you can probably tell, I'm in a mood. Blame insomnia.

---------------------

In part #2 of my Getting Physical Shit Dealt With series went to the doctor yesterday to to get my lungs looked at.

I was there for 3 hours to get poked and prodded, got my tetanus shot (probably a good idea given how much gravel I had to pick out of my nose) and a flu shot, had a chest x-ray and an electrocardiogram (!!) and had about six tubes of blood drawn and peed in a jar.

And came home with Super Asthma meds, that apparently costs $1523651.26 a shot. Or something.

I need to get my ass onto a drug plan.

And I have to admit, I didn't ask what the rational was for giving me an ECG. I was just too startled. Maybe it's an age thing.

---------------------

saw Pirates again last night. Johnny Depp rocks. You all want him, you know you do.

And he's old like me.

HA!

Comments

Sounds familiar

[mrph.livejournal.com]

I think you're supposed to cut them vast quantities of slack, on the basis that they've convinced you that they're crap, inoffensive, crap, inferior and crap.

And it's genetic or something - definitely not their fault, as their actions were wrong, but just a natural consequence of their fundamentally crap state. It's never really going to change, so you've just got to make allowances. So cutting them some slack is only fair, right?

[bar-bar-ella.livejournal.com]

saw Pirates again last night. Johnny Depp rocks. You all want him, you know you do.
And he's old like me.

So... can we have you both? :)

Re: Sounds familiar

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

It's never really going to change, so you've just got to make allowances.

No I don't.

At least, not unless they are also armed.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Well I can't speak for Mr Depp...

Re: Sounds familiar

[mrph.livejournal.com]

But... but... that's so unreasonable of you. Especially as it's really not their fault they're being crap. You can't expect them to have a learning curve, or to be remotely competent. They'll just mope at you and look pitiful until you weaken...

Thankfully, the ones hereabouts aren't armed either (and I seem to be doing quite well at avoiding them right now). We had two prize specimens in the last department I worked in, and I spent many happy days trying not to snap and strangle them...

[strang-er.livejournal.com]

"So what exactly is it that they expect to gain from that particular exchange? Am I supposed to follow them, apologizing for being pissed off?"

Given the number of times i've seen that happen, yeah probably.

Re: Sounds familiar

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Heh. I spent so much time being drained by people who were weak but charming that I have an iron-clad resistance to it now.

For some reason, this conversation reminds me of one of my favourite scenes from a Hollywood movie. (Crap movie, but my favourite scene nonetheless.) In Arthur Dudley Moore is pasted as usual and his fiance says, "A real woman would be able to make you stop drinking." His reply, "She'd have to be a damn big one."

I've used that line.

More importantly, it very neatly articulated my feeling that if people don't want to stop sucking they won't.

first up against the wall when the revolution comes

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

[liz-lowlife.livejournal.com]

imagine if every woman or man who wanted a piece of Johnny got their wish for Xmas...they'd have to invent a new subatomic particle to account for the fractions.

I'd still want one though...

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

One of the cool things about that movie.

I've had a conversation with people about the fact that I would happily sleep with Keith Richards given the chance.[1] Not because he is famous, or any of that slop. (Because I would not sleep with Mick Jagger.)

But because he has in absolute rediculous amounts that indescribable quality that I can define in no other way but to call it "cool".[2]

Seeing JD "do" KR makes it just slightly easier to define what that quality is.

So I'll probably feel the same way about JD when he's 75 and most people are giving me the exact same feedback they give me now when I tell them I'd do KR.[3]

[1] The fact that Keith Richards is the same age as my DAD notwithstanding.
[2] I'd fuck Iggy Pop for the same reason.
[3] Although being 75 myself maybe that won't bug them so much.[4]
[4] If I tell them.

[redbird]

So what exactly is it that they expect to gain from that particular exchange? Am I supposed to follow them, apologizing for being pissed off? Comfort them, by insisting that no, they are not a total loser, they just have communication issues?

More or less. With the addendum that it's a way of getting you to focus on their emotional state rather than on the fact that they have hurt you, and thus distract you from expecting any kind of amends.

Pirates!

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

Dude, I want Johnny Depp like you would not believe.

Not as much as John Taylor or David Bowie, but close. ;)

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

Shit, she's Axeling.

Re: Pirates!

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I've wanted Johnny Depp for 18 years, I am by turns vindicated and annoyed that everybody else has discovered his fabulousness. (And that it took a movie about a Disney attraction to do it.)

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

It's like crack.

Really.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

That was kinda my take on it.

My reaction was, "Pfft. As if."

[hellsop.livejournal.com]

Ah, there's nothing like the sound of justified indignation over manipulative bullshit....

Re: Pirates!

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

I've been on the Johnny Depp bandwagon for years, ever since *cough*21JumpStreet*cough*.

Have you seen Chocolat? A movie about chocolate with Johnny Depp as an Irish gypsy. Awww yeah.....

i'll see your person who sucks and raise you a total asshole

[demirep77.livejournal.com]

the only thing that bugs me more than the poor-me-buuhuu reaction to being called on ones shit is this:

me: see, the thing is that what you just did really bugged me and i wish you'd knock it off.

total asshole: see, the thing is that fuck you and goodlord you are such a bitch about -everything- and my my my aren't we -sensitive-, yadda yadda yadda yadda got a great new pair of socks.

woah, wait. i think maybe that's the exact same reaction except a little light on the -passive- aggression. next time you have a run in with person-who-sucks you should borrow my slingshot and jar of mouldy olives.

johnny depp is so my boyfriend. i don't care if he's 100. and he's totally been my boyfriend since i was 10 and he was 85. (it sounds really gross when i put it like that)

Re: Pirates!

[emulsional.livejournal.com]

Dude I used to buy Tiger Beat for the posters of Johnny Depp. TIGER BEAT for cryin' out loud.

And yes, Chocolat was a good role for him, good warm up for Pirates... But I still maintain that my favorite role of his was when he played Sam in Benny and Joon.

[emulsional.livejournal.com]

Theres a fine line between knowing you suck and knowing you suck and making it everyone else's problem. (I'll admit to dipping a toe into the sucky side once in a while...)

But I can respect a person who thinks they suck so long as they do something constructive to change that facet of themselves. However, the passive-aggressive drama-starved lookatmelookatme reaction like the one you illustrated above sucks beyond reason. Beyond tolerant.

Its even worse when you really want to like the person, and can't because they pull that act every. single. time. you talk to them. Same thing with people who think the world owes them something. Makes me crazy too... Arrrgh!

[missjanette.livejournal.com]

raaargh.
I am currently dealing with possibly the most defensive person in the world who's reaction to "hey, that is upsetting to me" is to make it all about him & storm off in a huff. He's als engaging in a lot of passive-agressive bs which I cannot fucking take. I thought more of him. I may have lost a friend bc I got tired of bitching about him & decided to bitch to him. watch my lj for possible details. :/

Also, gaaaah on the meds issue. I also have SPENDY drugs, tho thankfully I have decent drug coverage.

also, mmmmm for mr. depp. I just got the DVD & Mr. Damn Keen & I had a piratey good evening. arrrr. prepare to be boarded.

Odd

[inulro.livejournal.com]

I've always totally had a thing for Mick but Keith has never attracted me in any way.

Iggy Pop may be the ugliest man in the business, but he's still sexy as hell.

[kest]

HOw do you feel about 'well, yup, that's a problem I have and I ain't really interested in changing it just for you, so fucking deal'?

'cause sometimes, that's the response I want to give, but then I get all guilty feeling, or insecure feeling, or something, and it turns into number two, above.

Re: Sounds familiar

[inulro.livejournal.com]

It's been too long since I've seen Arthur then. When I was about 13 I loved that film and have seen it loads of times, but I can't remember that line now.

Depprived...

[zero-gravity.livejournal.com]

well... i could get all dressed up for ya.

Re: Pirates!

[peculiaire.livejournal.com]

Mmmm. Johnny Depp in 21 Jump Street.

Mmmm. Johnny Depp dipped in chocolate...

Re: Pirates!

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Stop that!

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I can deal with that a lot better. "You don't get to have input on this" is a perfectly valid answer.

Then the ball is back in my court in terms of deciding if I want to hang around with somebody who does whatever it is.

Re: i'll see your person who sucks and raise you a total asshole

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Been there too. "Of course I did X! What did you expect after you did Y!"

"I didn't know Y was a problem. You've never mentioned it before."

"Of course Y was a problem! It should have been obvious! You would have known that if you didn't suck."

Uh. Yeah.

Next!

high end

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I have friends that I refer to as "high maintenance". I have expend way more energy on them every time we interact because absolutely everything is about them.

Why haven't I heard from you lately? Are you pissed off at me? You didn't answer the email I sent you yesterday, and you punishing me? Why are you so quiet, did I do something wrong? You didn't answer the phone when I called, are you avoiding me?

For fuck's sake.

It's always tempting to give in to my sense of exasperation and just say yes.

Re: Pirates!

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

But why?

If Johnny Depp was dipped in chocolate, we could all take turns licking it off.

Re: Pirates!

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

Turns?

[mittelbar.livejournal.com]

Egzackly. I made my request, got back an honest answer, and get to decide where to take that. Fine.

In defense of sucking

[mr-sharkey.livejournal.com]

My mom wouldn't hit me if I could criticise myself before she could (if I was slow or happy I'd get her criticsm, and a whipping - you do the math as to which was the logical choice).

Cut the sucky people some slack - it could be a learned survival reaction.


M.

Re: In defense of sucking

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

That may be the case. i'm still not about to go chasing after them to apologize to them because I told them not to tread on my feet.

The people who have done this kind of thing rarely come back, so it's not like the uncutness of my slack appears to be any big loss to them.

Re: Depprived...

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

That icon is spooky.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

I had a similar sounding experience with a friend once. She’d made a comment to the effect of “When I have kids, Steph can’t be around them cause she’s such a freak!”. I laughed it off, and then she proceeded to make the same comment 3-4 more times.

At that point, I sat her down and said “You’ve made this comment enough times that I’m beginning to think you’re not joking. If you honestly think that I can’t be trusted around your kids, I’m really offended.”

Did I get an apology? A discussion of what she really meant or what her concerns were? Oh no. She burst into floods of tears and sobbed that she couldn’t believe that I could think she really meant that, and that I hurt her terribly by suggesting it.

Re: high end

[elusis.livejournal.com]

I haven't talked to one high maintenance person in about 6 months because she's so, so HM. And I just heard from a mutual friend that last time they saw each other, HM was asking about me. "Oh, S. must be mad at me! She never calls me! She must hate me!"

Talk about a self-fulfilling prophecy. Way to get me to want to pick up the phone, HM.