three up, one down

[the_siobhan]

Saw the Pixies last night.

\m/

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As of yesterday my mother is out of the hospital. She was in with a bad gall bladder. She likes being laid up about as much as I do, so she was getting pretty restless and cranky. (On the phone to one of my sisters, "Today I gave J__ shit, and gave F__ shit, so I must be feeling better."

She's home now, so that is a Great Big Relief.

You know, signs of age on my own body make me wrinkle my forehead momentarily, shrug and get on with my life.

Signs of aging on my parents... those scare me.

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Had a bunch of beers on Saturday night. (And some vodka shots too, damn your evil supervillan powers, caspervonb!) Passed the rest of the week without hating myself for having said something offensive or done anything obnoxious. (Not that I know I didn't say something offensive or do anything obnoxious, but I don't feel like cutting my own head off over it.) So that's a step up.

My moods have actually leveled out remarkably since I weaned myself off the daily crutch. I don't get so many of the "I Can Take Over The World" days, but I also don't get the "Better Off Dead" days either - and the latter were getting a lot more frequent than the former.

I've had low days, but they've been normal "too much on my plate, worried about X, stressed out about Y" days and they respond to normal cheer-up techniques. And I haven't had a major anxiety episode at all.

Having posted that in public I predict I will now have three in a row. Still, it's knowledge, and that's always useful.

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I have been (finally) unpacking the nine boxes of clothes and crap that have been sitting around in the basement since we moved in. And have discovered, that in fact, I have lots of clothes. That don't fit me.

So... either throw out/give away/sell at a loss literally thousands of dollars worth of clothes, and buy thousands of dollars worth of replacement clothes.

Or.

Forceably starve myself for X number of months to get my butt back into what I have.

Christ. I'm turning into a girl.

Comments

[disastrid.livejournal.com]

firstly, i have never known you to do/say something obnoxious or offensive or act like an idiot when out drinking. i think you're being overly hard on yourself.

secondly, glad your mum's okay.

thirdly, re clothes ... my solution to all that lately has been to Get Rid Of what doesn't fit (like, for example, the clothes i have from highschool) because it will only serve to depress you. more important questions are things like "am i healthy? should i exercise more to get my heart pumping?" are much more pertinent questions, i find, than "how much bigger is my ass now than when i was eighteen? how can i stand to be seen in public?", which start to happen when i'm continually comparing my body now to how it was x number of years ago.

but that's just me, and i'm a girl, so feel free to tell me to take my observations and shove em.

[inulro.livejournal.com]

much more pertinent questions, i find, than "how much bigger is my ass now than when i was eighteen?

In my case, it's "how much bigger is my ass now than when I was 30?", which can be problematic. It doesn't help that the extra weight is a direct result of ill health. People keep telling me I look better now I'm bigger, but due to some weird physiology on my part, it's not actually good for me.

As to "how can I be seen in public", I occasionally take perverse pleasure in inflicting my ugly & badly dressed self on the outside world. But I'm a bitch that way.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

"firstly, i have never known you to do/say something obnoxious or offensive or act like an idiot when out drinking. i think you're being overly hard on yourself."

Logically I know I'm not any more obnoxious than the rest of the crew I'm out with when I'm drinking.

But the Creeping Brain Rot is impervious to logic.

[redbird]

I'd vote for sell at a loss/give away/exchange, and see how much of the replacement clothing can be gotten second hand, to reduce the expense. But I have no idea of whether Toronto has consignment shops, or the quality of the second-hand shops there (or how many of them are run by organizations you'd rather not help: I know I'm happier buying used books, shirts, et cetera from Housing Works than from the Salvation Army).

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

I had no idea you mom wasn't well. Glad to hear she's doing better.

I second what Astrid. I've never heard you say anything offensive while drunk.

Re: the clothes. My advice is to divide the clothes into 2 piles.

1) Stuff that you *really* don't fit into. Give this pile away. Trying to make yourself fit into them again will just make you crazy.

2) Stuff that almost fits, as in 5 pounds less and some toning will make'em fit just fine. Believe it or not, I have several dresses and skirts that fit into this category atm. I've added swimming to my ballet and yoga regimen with the goal of losing a bit of weight and gaining some muscle tone. That month I spent living on fast food and take-out during the move did me no favours.

I favour consignment stores, Goodwill and Value Village for clothes shopping. I've gotten some *nice* stuff for very cheap.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Unless the clothes are really small, I'm not a very good judge of what will fit me within a reasonable weight fluctuation range.[1] I lose/gain weight disproportionately on different parts of my body. (I think everybody does.)

It's still good advice though. I tend to go up and down and lot, so it would be a good idea not to toss out everything that doesn't fit right this minute, but to get rid of the stuff that's way out of whack.

[1]Which in my case is more than 5 pounds. Keep in mind how big I am - I gain 5 pounds if I forget to shave.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

Sometime, trying on your old clothes is the only way to tell how close they are to fitting. You may or may not want to put yourself through that. Another quicker way is to hold the clothes up against you and see if they look like they'd fit.

[1]Which in my case is more than 5 pounds. Keep in mind how big I am - I gain 5 pounds if I forget to shave.

*snork*

I was drinking coffee when I read that.

BTW, there's a Goodwill on Roncesvalles near Queen, and a 2nd-hand store called Twice As Nice right across the street.

[girfan.livejournal.com]

Re: clothes

Charity shops are your friend for giving and well as getting.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I keep hearing that. :-)

[droolart.livejournal.com]

Speaking of clothes, there is a cammo jacket that was left behind at my place months ago when you were here. Is it yours?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Oh! That's Axel's, he's been hunting all over for it.

[droolart.livejournal.com]

email me your address and I'll ship it back to you this weekend.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

We're driving to Chicago next month for Saturnalia - we can swing by and pick it up on the way.