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I got my superpowers today only if mucous production could be classified as a superpower.
It happens that in a conversation on somebody else's LJ, I made mention of the fact I used to work with live HIV.
I don't know if I've ever mentioned that here. Man, but I loved that job.
Every day we would change into our lab wear; autoclavable smocks and underwear and the slippers we wore as we padded down the hallway to the entrance. Then the first airlock where we bundled into our labwear. Then the second airlock, where we put on the boots and headgear and the second layer of gloves, and taped all the layers to each other in so that no air could leak through the gaps in the clothing. A battery pack pumped clean filtered air into our helmets. We would make a brief side trip to an internal decon chamber where yesturday's battery packs and shoes would be waiting in a plastic bag so we could dump them into the airlock for the next day.
Then into the lab where we would commit Acts Of Science. On the way out we likewise disrobed in stages. Battery packs and shoes were sprayed down, bagged, and left in the decon chamber. (Accessed through a different door and an additional airlock.) Outer layers were dumped into an autoclave bag. In a secondary chamber we would dump our smocks and knickers - also into an autoclave bag - and step into a shower. Our street clothes waited outside. The first person out would go and get all the slippers and anything else that had been left in the "enter" side and put them in the change room. The last person would load the autoclave and sterlize all the clothes we had just taken off.
There were only three of us working there, all women. We became intimately aquainted with each others' biological needs. There were many occasionas where somebody would just say, "I can't wait any more, I have got to get to a bathroom", and the other two would pick up the slack while the one in need bolted for the showers. There was one day when my battery just completely died and I was the one running down the hallway and trying to get everything sprayed down quickly so I could finally take my helmet off and get some new air.
All the windows were bomb-proof glass. The fire department were under strict instructions that in case of fire they were to get all the humans out and let the building burn to the ground in sterilizing flame. Periodically reporters would come into the office and we would see them out in the hallway through the double layers of laboratory glass, taking pictures of our helmeted shapeless forms while we worked.
The company bought us each $100,000 life insurance policies. I thought the questionaires were hilarious. Have you ever done intravenous drugs? Have you ever been to Haiti? No but I work with LIVE AIDS every day? Do you have a questionaire for that? No? Ok, then. It was the only time in my life I've ever had to do a pee test.
The project was cancelled after a couple of years and all the security precautions were gradually switched off. Somebody snuck into the change rooms and stole all the autoclaveable underwear. The personel all were assigned to different projects and the equipment got scavenged as well.
One of the fermenters exploded one day when I was working with it. Nutrient broth rained from the ceiling for a half-hour. The containment tank that trapped and sterilized all the run-off from the autoclave got plugged up and a couple of the pipes exploded from the back-pressure, filling an entire room with scalding water. I was there for that too.
And over time the the company turned into the Hell Hole and eventually I quit so I could stop taking anti-depressants and waking up in the middle of the night wishing I owned firearms.
But every once in a while I'll read about a new containment lab opening up somewhere where they're going to be testing Ebola or Dengue Fever or Brain-Explodes disease, and I think, I could do that.
I really liked that job.
It happens that in a conversation on somebody else's LJ, I made mention of the fact I used to work with live HIV.
I don't know if I've ever mentioned that here. Man, but I loved that job.
Every day we would change into our lab wear; autoclavable smocks and underwear and the slippers we wore as we padded down the hallway to the entrance. Then the first airlock where we bundled into our labwear. Then the second airlock, where we put on the boots and headgear and the second layer of gloves, and taped all the layers to each other in so that no air could leak through the gaps in the clothing. A battery pack pumped clean filtered air into our helmets. We would make a brief side trip to an internal decon chamber where yesturday's battery packs and shoes would be waiting in a plastic bag so we could dump them into the airlock for the next day.
Then into the lab where we would commit Acts Of Science. On the way out we likewise disrobed in stages. Battery packs and shoes were sprayed down, bagged, and left in the decon chamber. (Accessed through a different door and an additional airlock.) Outer layers were dumped into an autoclave bag. In a secondary chamber we would dump our smocks and knickers - also into an autoclave bag - and step into a shower. Our street clothes waited outside. The first person out would go and get all the slippers and anything else that had been left in the "enter" side and put them in the change room. The last person would load the autoclave and sterlize all the clothes we had just taken off.
There were only three of us working there, all women. We became intimately aquainted with each others' biological needs. There were many occasionas where somebody would just say, "I can't wait any more, I have got to get to a bathroom", and the other two would pick up the slack while the one in need bolted for the showers. There was one day when my battery just completely died and I was the one running down the hallway and trying to get everything sprayed down quickly so I could finally take my helmet off and get some new air.
All the windows were bomb-proof glass. The fire department were under strict instructions that in case of fire they were to get all the humans out and let the building burn to the ground in sterilizing flame. Periodically reporters would come into the office and we would see them out in the hallway through the double layers of laboratory glass, taking pictures of our helmeted shapeless forms while we worked.
The company bought us each $100,000 life insurance policies. I thought the questionaires were hilarious. Have you ever done intravenous drugs? Have you ever been to Haiti? No but I work with LIVE AIDS every day? Do you have a questionaire for that? No? Ok, then. It was the only time in my life I've ever had to do a pee test.
The project was cancelled after a couple of years and all the security precautions were gradually switched off. Somebody snuck into the change rooms and stole all the autoclaveable underwear. The personel all were assigned to different projects and the equipment got scavenged as well.
One of the fermenters exploded one day when I was working with it. Nutrient broth rained from the ceiling for a half-hour. The containment tank that trapped and sterilized all the run-off from the autoclave got plugged up and a couple of the pipes exploded from the back-pressure, filling an entire room with scalding water. I was there for that too.
And over time the the company turned into the Hell Hole and eventually I quit so I could stop taking anti-depressants and waking up in the middle of the night wishing I owned firearms.
But every once in a while I'll read about a new containment lab opening up somewhere where they're going to be testing Ebola or Dengue Fever or Brain-Explodes disease, and I think, I could do that.
I really liked that job.