Chapter Three of Diane's Penis

[the_siobhan]

Diane tried to collect her thoughts. It was evident that the fitness centre staff had no intention of helping her, but that didn’t mean she was completely without options.

Her concentration was broken by the sound of female laughter. She looked up and winced. A half-dozen or so of her fellow clients were emerging from the doors of the fitness centre, Mary Pickford among them. They had obviously just emerged from the change room, freshly showered and blow-dried. Diane fervently hoped that they would just keep on going and not notice her, but she was not to be so lucky.

“Diane, what did you do to get the poor staff so upset?” asked Mary, gliding towards her. Diane sent a brief prayer heavenward begging God for forgiveness for her sinful thoughts and by the way, if you could just strike one of us dead by lightening right now I would be forever in your debt, not all that fussy about who. Mary was looking in the car window now. Her tiny, perfectly manicured fingers flew to her mouth.

“Oh my God! It’s true! Just look at the thing. It really is, it’s a man’s… thing! In her car!

There was a round of titters as each woman had to peer into the window and then leap away in simulated shock, giggling and nudging each other. Diane tried to swallow her rising temper.

“Look, maybe you can help me,” Diane said. “I’ve asked the staff here, but they don’t want to get involved. I need to get this thing out of my car.”

“Call Animal Control,” said a brunette who Diane didn’t know, and the entire gaggle of them erupted into gales of laughter. Diane gritted her teeth and sent up another brief prayer requesting immediate immolation.

“Look, I could really use some help here…” Diane started, but she was interrupted by the group of them turning away toward their respective vehicles. Her voice trailed off as they left her, still giggling. A voice drifted back to her, just loud enough for her to overhear; “Our help? She’s asking for our help? With that thing in her car? What does she take us for?”

A few slamming doors and the sound of engines and Diane was once more alone in the parking lot. She felt numb.

There was a wooden bench on the sidewalk at the far end of the lot. She walked over to it and sat down, leaning forward to dangle her head over the edge of her lap.

Think, she ordered herself.

She could call the police – it would have been an option a few hours ago, but now she quailed at the idea. Diane had never so much as had a speeding ticket before and after the reaction she had gotten so far tonight, she was no longer entirely sure she would be able to convince the authorities that she was the innocent party here.

She sat up slowly and then dug into her bag for her cell phone. There was simply no other choice. She was going to have to call her husband.

Jim was already in a foul mood when he answered the phone. She had pretty much expected that, he would have been waiting for her for at least a couple of hours now.

“Where the hell are you?” he wanted to know. “I ended up ordering pizza just to make sure the kids got food at all. You could have called us you know. I find this pretty inconsiderate behaviour, we do have children here that have to be fed and taken care of.”

“Jim,” she said quietly, “I need your help.”

“This is pretty damned irresponsible of you. You know, I think I give you a lot of freedom compared to what a lot of husbands give their wives, I don’t ask for much. And I don’t demand that you go out and pay your own way the way a lot of husbands do. So I don’t think it’s too much to ask that you provide a few things in return and one of those is that you are home at night when you say you are going to be and that you tell us when you aren’t going to be here to provide dinner for the family.”

“Jim,” she said a little louder, “I need your help.”

“I’ll have you know I had a really hard day at work today, a real bastard. This new manager is busting my balls. And I come home and all I want is some consistency, some kinda’ normality where I can relax with my family and forget about all the shit at work, and what do I get? An empty house and two hungry kids wondering where their mother is.”

Diane deflated. “Never mind, Jim,” she said wearily. “I should have known better than to call you. I’ll talk to you later.”

“What! Wait a Goddamn minute. What do you mean you’ll talk to me later? When are you coming home? Where the hell are you?”

“I told you, I need your help. I’m in the parking lot of the gym, I’ve been here for hours. I… I can’t explain it. I’m having some problems and I need your help. I need you to come here and help me”

“Jesus. You can’t just take a cab?”

Diane was having fantasies about strangling him again. She counted to ten and then responded very slowly, “No Jim. I cannot just take a cab unless you want me to abandon my car permanently. I need you to come here and help me sort this out.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll come. Where the hell is this gym of yours?”

She gave him directions and hung up the phone.

This was a bad idea, she told herself.

Comments

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

Oh, I do hope the giant penis gives it to Diane's husband up the ass!

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Ha! I would have said it's not "that kind of story" but who knows where it will end up.