Chapter Four of Diane's Penis
Nov. 4th, 2007 02:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
the_siobhanI just took my contacts out and my eyes have not yet adjusted to the glasses. So I can't see the screen all that well. Expect lots of typos here on in.
Jim had a terrible sense of direction, so it wasn’t a huge surprise when he was half an hour late and in even a worse mood when he finally arrived. He started talking as soon as he stepped out of his car, but Diane cut him off.
“No, I’m serious Jim, yelling at me right now will not help. I have… I have this thing in my car and I don’t know what to do with it and I can’t get anybody to help me. I don’t know what to do. Go look at it and come back here and tell me what to do.”
“You have something in your car? What is it? What happened? Is it drugs? Did somebody plant drugs in your car?”
She sighed. “Jim, just go look.”
She watched his retreating back as he left to go look into her car. She was watching when he went rigid and then saw him stand up and turn to walk back towards her. One look at his face and she knew what was coming. After all, she had been though this a couple of times already tonight.
“Do you mind telling me,” he asked her though clenched teeth. “What the hell you think you are playing at?”
Diane felt all the fight go out of her. She couldn’t even get mad back at him, she thought. She had been dealing with this for hours now in the dark and in the cold, and she just felt like all of her mad had been used up.
“Jim,” she said wearily, “I called you up to come and help me out here. If you aren’t going to be of any help to me then… just go home, ok?”
“Do you have any idea,” he asked her, his voice trembling, “what would happen if somebody from my work saw you with that, that thing? How it could affect my career?”
“From your work?” Diane could not believe her ears. “What the hell does any of this have to do with your work?”
“Not to mention the fact that you are a mother with children. Have you given any though whatsoever to how they would be affected by this? Have you?”
“My children?” she yelled. In some corner of her brain Diane was aware that she was shouting, but she didn’t seem to be able to control it at all. “My son has one of those himself and judging by the sounds coming out of his room at night he’s already figured out what to do with it. And as for my daughter has probably seen more of them in her seventeen years than I have in my entire life!”
There was a shocked silence as the two of them stared at each other.
Jim drew himself up to his full height. “Your family will be waiting for you at home when you get over this… this inappropriate rebellion of yours,” he said distinctly. He paused for a moment as if waiting for her to say something, but when she just looked at him silently he turned and walked back to his car.
Diane watched her husband leave. Then she walked back to the bench, flopped down on top of it, dropped her head into her hands and burst into tears.
“Everybody is crazy. Every body has completely lost their minds,” she sobbed.
A voice interrupted her. “Hey lady.” It said, “Did you know you have a dick in your car?”
Jim had a terrible sense of direction, so it wasn’t a huge surprise when he was half an hour late and in even a worse mood when he finally arrived. He started talking as soon as he stepped out of his car, but Diane cut him off.
“No, I’m serious Jim, yelling at me right now will not help. I have… I have this thing in my car and I don’t know what to do with it and I can’t get anybody to help me. I don’t know what to do. Go look at it and come back here and tell me what to do.”
“You have something in your car? What is it? What happened? Is it drugs? Did somebody plant drugs in your car?”
She sighed. “Jim, just go look.”
She watched his retreating back as he left to go look into her car. She was watching when he went rigid and then saw him stand up and turn to walk back towards her. One look at his face and she knew what was coming. After all, she had been though this a couple of times already tonight.
“Do you mind telling me,” he asked her though clenched teeth. “What the hell you think you are playing at?”
Diane felt all the fight go out of her. She couldn’t even get mad back at him, she thought. She had been dealing with this for hours now in the dark and in the cold, and she just felt like all of her mad had been used up.
“Jim,” she said wearily, “I called you up to come and help me out here. If you aren’t going to be of any help to me then… just go home, ok?”
“Do you have any idea,” he asked her, his voice trembling, “what would happen if somebody from my work saw you with that, that thing? How it could affect my career?”
“From your work?” Diane could not believe her ears. “What the hell does any of this have to do with your work?”
“Not to mention the fact that you are a mother with children. Have you given any though whatsoever to how they would be affected by this? Have you?”
“My children?” she yelled. In some corner of her brain Diane was aware that she was shouting, but she didn’t seem to be able to control it at all. “My son has one of those himself and judging by the sounds coming out of his room at night he’s already figured out what to do with it. And as for my daughter has probably seen more of them in her seventeen years than I have in my entire life!”
There was a shocked silence as the two of them stared at each other.
Jim drew himself up to his full height. “Your family will be waiting for you at home when you get over this… this inappropriate rebellion of yours,” he said distinctly. He paused for a moment as if waiting for her to say something, but when she just looked at him silently he turned and walked back to his car.
Diane watched her husband leave. Then she walked back to the bench, flopped down on top of it, dropped her head into her hands and burst into tears.
“Everybody is crazy. Every body has completely lost their minds,” she sobbed.
A voice interrupted her. “Hey lady.” It said, “Did you know you have a dick in your car?”
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Date: 2007-11-04 07:13 am (UTC)(no subject)
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