Only you can stop the spread of VD

[the_siobhan]

[Poll #1349656]

[EDIT] I can't change the wording once people have started responding to the poll, so read the third response to question 1 to include "We don't celebrate this particular holiday."

Comments

[machineplay.livejournal.com]

I'd rather my kid get Valentines from me than someone else. I get her a schmoopy card about how she's the best kid ever and buy her chocolates. You know, the whole heart-shaped box and lace and ribbons. I think it's good for her to learn that things like that are unconditional and not volleys in a relationship. Her dad often buys her flowers for special occasions, a dozen roses or whatever seems nice. Again, it's because we want her to put appropriate emphasis on those gestures.

[ihcoyc.livejournal.com]

If I were to start sending and receiving valentine gifts to my parents or my sister, it would widen the obligations imposed by that particular Hallmark holiday. To do that would cause upset and unpleasantness that more than cancels out any pleasure from sending or receiving those gifts. It pays not to raise expectations, y'know?

[ladyclayton.livejournal.com]

I didn't vote on the first question, because there was no answer that reflected "No, because we just don't -- Valentines Day isn't a big deal in my family."

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Change the wording in option 3 to "the holiday", I guess.

[shara.livejournal.com]

My dad and brother have always bought Valentine's chocolates for the women in the family. I've never received (or given) anything to a SO, but the little family exchange remains...

Not that it's much of an exchange, since we women don't give anything back (we do share the chocolate, though). My dad says it's his "one act of chivalry a year".

[lil-m-moses.livejournal.com]

I was trying to avoid thinking about it at all, but then got a guilt-ridden phone phone call from my mom at 10:15 PM complaining that I hadn't called her and wished her a happy VD. *sigh* I don't think of parents for this particular holiday, but she'd rather I did, I guess.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

If my mother wanted to know why I hadn't given her a call on Valentine's Day my response would be, "Because I'm not dating you."

Wish my mother a happy Valentine's Day would feel like wishing Axel a happy Mother's Day. It wouldn't occur to me.

[ashbet]

That's my attitude as well :)

I'll wish friends a happy day in general, because I try to use Valentine's Day as a chance to say "I LOVE YOU GUYS!", but it's not like I don't do that reasonably often anyway.

I did call my mother to wish her a happy Vday, but that's fairly traditional in my family -- we'll call each other, but we don't exchange gifts except on birthdays and Christmas.

-- A <3

[http://users.livejournal.com/cincinnatus_c_/]

But are ya gonna call your mother to wish her a happy Family Day? My father called last year to wish me a happy Family Day. (He also called this year to wish L. and I a happy Valentine's Day, which I guess escapes icky and weird on a technicality and is downgraded to daffy.)

At least no one ever called to wish me a happy Flag Day. Poor forgotten Flag Day.

[greylock.livejournal.com]

Personally, I will then wish you a happy Flag Day - whatever and wherever it is.

[tetsab]

Based on the time stamp of that post you got it right on.

[Well, accept for the calling part, but getting it right on is pretty good]. :D

[greylock.livejournal.com]

Yeah, what's up with all this "familial" interaction that people seem to be implying? Is it the done thing in other parts of the world.

The concept of Valentines is icky, and as I have aged I have opted not to do anything special, but roping your kids/parents into the deal?

Alien to me.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

If I give Valentines at all, beyond one or two people who I happen to think of that year, I give them to lots of people. I might feel sad and weird giving one to my dad, who is kind of on the old and lonely side (highlighting his non-attached state), but otherwise, sure. Except for when I make naughty ones. Then just my sister.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Oh, you know what cranks my undies? People calling VD a "major holiday". Um. Ew?

[dali-muse.livejournal.com]

February 15th is when I had my fibroids (and most of my girly bits) removed.

This weekend I celebrate sexual liberation!

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

My only quibble with this poll is the wording of option 3 under question 1 - we don't celebrate that particular holiday, but we do celebrate other holidays.

If I did have a partner that wanted to be fussed over on Valentine's Day, I would do it because I like to make my partners happy.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Read the question. The poll isn't about giving partners presents and cards. It's about exchanging cards with kids, parents, siblings and other explicitly non-romantic and non-sexual family members.

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

I did read the question, thanks, and my point still stands. It divides the options into "we celebrate holidays" or "we don't celebrate holidays". There's no option for "we celebrate some, but not all, holidays".

I don't celebrate VD with anyone - partners, friends, family. I think the last time I gave VD cards to friends when when I was in grade school.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

OK, I see what you're getting at. I'll change the wording.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Hrmmm, except it seems I can't edit the text once people have started responding.

[dark-phoenix54.livejournal.com]

My parents, and my mother's sister, always exchanged cards with each other and with me for EVERY occasion. Therefore, I reciprocated. I still send a Valentine card to my aunt some years (when I remember the bloody holiday) and some years she sends me one. I do enjoy *making* cards, so I don't consider this a burden. I draw the line at St. Patrick's day cards, which the elders also used to exchange, and my aunt still sends me once in a while.

Tim has no concept of romance, so we ignore the day.

[sola.livejournal.com]

I can't seem to stop my mother from giving me valentine's candy to this day. It's pretty odd. Outside of this relationship, though, she's been the only person to ever do so, so i guess it has the weight of history behind it.


I sometimes hand out candy or cookies to all and sundry, but no one else gets a ~valentine~ except actual SOs. And then only if it's important to them.

[kest]

I didn't answer the first one because there is no answer of 'YES BECAUSE I LOVE IT OKAY'. I would dearly like to reclaim valentine's day in the name of love of all sorts...not so much about gifts and commercialism, but about showing appreciation for those you care about.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I don't think that's a reclaiming - I think it's a re-framing.

[unagothae.livejournal.com]

Sometimes, I buy some chocolate for my brother on Valentine's Day because he likes candy, but I do that for him whenever I think he could use some extra cheering up. It just usually happens near a holiday because there's always some fucking holiday or other going on.

I bought a box of chocolates for my mom this year, but I ate them and never told her about it.

Since I was feeling motivated, I sent cards to some of my friends because they were pretty and a lot of my friends could use cheering up. It isn't so much about the holiday as it is the fact that there are pretty things available around certain holidays. I happen to like pink hearts :P

[icedrake.livejournal.com]

I included "because there's enough rampant commercialism in the universe and we don't need another f%^king Hallmark Holiday" under "icky and weird."

Also, I propose a campaign to stop VD Creep.

[the-fury.livejournal.com]

I answered 3, but I'm going to change the reading to "the holiday" like you suggested above.

I've always associated VDay with handing out those poorly printed cutouts in grade school. Everyone gets one and there's nothing remotely romantic about it. More a celebration of love in the abstract rather than a concrete love, if that makes any sense.

If it wasn't for that, it'd be pretty creepy.

And I still wouldn't celebrate it due to rampant consumerism, blah blah blah :)

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Yeah, them class cards. I was trained up in the "everyone gets one" tradition, which has made it utterly unromantic but occasionally sort of darling. This makes any potential victim of valentinism fair game.

Lupercalia, on the other hand ...

[elusis.livejournal.com]

My whole family exchanges cards, and I phoned both parents and my one remaining grandmother. Mom usually sends me a gift. I don't do a separate gift for her because her birthday is the 14th as well.

[rufus.livejournal.com]

"gifts" is kind of an overstatement; more like, it's an obligatory phone call day, and they send me a card containing small treats.

[ihvpave.livejournal.com]

I do sometimes, and not others. Depends on my mood, kinda. I generally don't necessarily celebrate Valentine's in any real capacity, regardless of the who, but I do on occassion get into the hellidaze - all of them - and on those times, I feel expansive towards all that are important to me. More often, though, I prefer to celebrate "Tuesday that you're in my life" rather than "mandated occasions."

[greylock.livejournal.com]

And another thing: why is it a holiday if you don't get a day off?

That's a pet peeve of mine.

workin' on a theory?

[greylock.livejournal.com]

It must be bunnies....

Re: workin' on a theory?

[ihvpave.livejournal.com]

Y'know, they're not just cute, like ev'rybody supposes.

[rbowspryte.livejournal.com]

I often like to hand out little cards (I try to make or embelish storebought) to coworkers and friends I know along with small gifts of candy, chocolate or homemade baked goods and such.

I didn't do that this year however.

[a-carnal-mink.livejournal.com]

I had no idea this went on until a USian friend remarked a coupla years back about baking a cake for her child and taking her out for VDay. My initial thought process was indeed as you've stated in this poll - icky and weird, but also with a long EWWWWwwww on the start of it and a rather big WTF??? on the end of it.

I was grossed out enough by American tv shows that have primary school kids make a card for everyone. THEY'RE CHILDREN!! :D

Even if it's actually gonna be a "proper" day of celebration on the calendar, it's surely a day for romantic love, right? All the supposed legends about St Valentine say he was the patron saint of LOVERS. How on earth that gets twisted around to include one's folks, sibs and offspring, I honestly have NO fucking idea. Except for the old fall-back explanation of "People are weird, man."

*feels dirty about the whole thing*

re: Only you can stop the spread of VD

[betonica.livejournal.com]

I fall in with yer all-americun group on this, I'm sure, though there are many years when I completely ignore Valentines day. This year (and last year) the Pride/LGBT group at my college sold candygrams, which is a blast. We bought piles of small candies, and put a few into each of almost 400 sandwich bags. Then there were many copies of six or so "cards" that one of the students made up: some image, possibly a funny or cute saying, and space for to, from, and comments. We sold them for 50 cents each, and actually made a small profit.

So, getting in the spirit of things, I filled out about 20 of them, some from "anonymous" and some with my name on them. None of mine were remotely romantic.

On a different VD theme, my housemate and I weren't going to be receiving any "real" valentines, being as we're single and don't see any dating possibilities on the horizon. So I bought us a two pound box of our favorite chocolates, with the greeting "Happy Valentines day to us!"

A good thing about Valentines day is that now that it's over, all of the candy is now half-price. I'm stocking up.

[emzebel.livejournal.com]

USA here. We give a wee something to the kid (cheap chocolate and a card, usually, sometimes some goofy animal with hearts on).

Otherwise, no. I call/otherwise acknowledge in some fashion my mom and stepdad 'cause it's their anniversary, not because of VD. Folks in my office were talking about family cards and gifts (as in things mailed to out of town moms, nieces/nephews/etc) which I find a tad odd, but different strokes...

I am definitely not anti-V day. Anything that results in flowers and good chocolate is fine by me, and it is fun to celebrate the potential excess of a relationship. Of course, I also say that as someone in a secure relationship of 12 years with someone who has equal fun with it.

[eveofdstruction.livejournal.com]

I do get a card for Rhiannon and she and I go out for tea. She is at the prime age for the childhood version of Valentines Day where it is just about making cards for everyone you love and having a party at school.

[mathochist.livejournal.com]

I don't celebrate that holiday *with my kids*, at least not once they're past the age of classes having parties where the kids bring valentines for everyone. But I do try to do something special with my sweeties that day. It's not obligatory, though.

[mercy-sands.livejournal.com]

I'm lucky I brushed my teeth on Valentine's Day. Planning ahead for holidays, while nice, is just not on the household agenda. That is unless they have to do something for school, of course, like make a bazillion little paper valentines for their classes right frikking now, MOM.