I'm not paranoid, you really all are out to get me.

[the_siobhan]

I was sitting in the doctor's waiting room yesterday with all the pregnant women who make up the majority of his patients. A couple of them had their partners with them -- very obviously being the "supportive boyfriend/husband" and just as obviously really wishing they could be somewhere else.

The supportive partner thing is a little weird for me. I really like have people around who I can vent at when I'm stressed out or pissed off. But when I'm scared -- stay the hell away from me.

Not much really scares me. But when I went in for the surgery I was terrified and I didn't do a very good job of hiding it, either. Everybody who is close to me offered to come into the hospital with me. I said no. If I started to lose my shit, I wanted to be able to do expend my energy concentrating on whatever it took to make me feel better -- the last thing I needed was to have to worry about whether I was going to have to modulate my behaviour in order to reassure somebody else that I wasn't going to make a break through a window or something. (And I would try to do that -- er, modulate my behaviour I mean. No matter how much anybody tried to reassure me that I didn't need to.)

My mother seemed to be the only person who really didn't "get" this. She kept insisting that having her there would be supportive. No mom, it would be distracting. She went along with what I wanted, but I could tell it seemed contradictory to her.

I think maybe I'm just weird.

Anyway. Yesterday was a freaking long day.

• Went to the bank and threw money into the household account. No EI yet. Ack. Fear.
  
  
• Went to the passport office and picked up my passport. I look like a thug. But I'm a Canadian thug now.
  
  
• Went to the bodybuilder's supply store and bought an exercise ball. I figure I need something to gradually ease my stomach muscles into being ready to go back to work. Sitting on the ball will work them 'cause they're my major stabilizers without the strain of something like sit-ups.
  
  
• Bought BC's birthday present.
  
  
• Spent two hours waiting for my doctor. Then he gave me shit that I'm not taking it easy enough. Go figure. He also told me again how big it was, which made me laugh. The things it takes to impress a gynecologist. On the plus side, he wants me to wait an additional six weeks before going back to work.
  
  
• Went to the local fat-lady store and picked up a big floppy sweater suitable for wearing in damp English weather.
  
  
• Also picked up a couple of pairs of new leggings. What I really need is jeans, but there's no point in buying those until my body finishes figuring out what shape it wants to be. (Butterball seems to be the current preference.)
  
  
• Sorted out what we are going to do about car rental with the_axel
  
  
• Drove the_axel to the rehersal he was busy being late for because he forgot to arrange a ride. ;->
  

After that I kinda ran out of steam. I made myself do a load of dishes before I left the house but that was pretty much it.

I really didn't want to leave the house, but I was supposed to go and see a band that we might be working with in the future, so I reluctantly dragged myself out the door and met up with caspervonb and electrolyte. The band startled me by Not Sucking quite a lot.

I think I startled caspervonb by turning down a shot -- probably the first time since he's known me. Instead as soon as the band was done I buggered off to a nice warm friendly bed.

Woke up today with sore muscles from doing all that walking. Swore to do most of today's work whilst sitting on my ass.

• Did a load of laundry
  
  
• Called my doctor's office to ask the secretary for a note so I can continue to get EI while I'm off work.
  
  
• Called my work to tell them I won't be back right away.
  
  
• Gave up on the contractors who haven't returned any of my calls and started round two on a fresh batch of contractors. Actually got to talk to a person. Damn! We'll see what happens with this one, he sounds promising.
  
  
• Called hotels and made arrangements for them to fax me some stuff for polycon10
  
  
• Finished the weekly Cangoth updates.
  
  
• Finished the weekly BiNetCanada updates.
  
  
• Emailed all the people who might need to know how to find us while we are in England -- or who we might need to find. (Should I be worried that I'm going to a foreign country with only the vaguest idea of where I'm going to be sleeping?
  
  
• Took another swipe at the fridges -- decided to pitch all the stuff that will definitely be green and fuzzy by the time I get back to Canada.
  
  
• Carted the garbage and recycling out to the containers on the porch -- I've discovered that other people will take the containers to the curb if I leave them, so all I have to do is make sure the trash and recycling is actually in the damn things.
  
  
• Pulled a bunch of jars that I want to keep off shelves and filled a box with them ready to go out in the garage. So I was able to move the shelves that are partially blocking the door we want repaired.
  
  
• Wrapped BC's birthday present.
  
  
• Did another load of dishes.
  
  
• Took some more compost out to the bin and the last of the beer bottles out to the garage.
  
  

I know this shit probably isn't very entertaining for the rest of the world, but it's fookin' exemplary at fighting the holy-shits-I-didn't-get-done-half-the-stuff-i-wanted-to's.

Now, off to shower and dress make plans to meet up with the_axel and his visitors for a pint or three.

Comments

[liz-lowlife.livejournal.com]

I'm sure that between all of us Wasp Factory related folks you will have somewhere to crash...I'll E mail you with my contact numbers etc.

I take it you have somewhere to stay in Whitby?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Oh, I'm not really worried. It will be a grand adventure. :-)

In Whitby we are going to be staying in a cottage with theevilchemist and the lovely and talented Scary Lady Sarah.

Oh yes, of course I'm a nosey bitch --

[snickerpuss.livejournal.com]

I wonder what ya' got for BC! And btw, I don't find your task lists boring at all, because it's fun fer me to read what folks are doin' in tha big city, hyuk, hyuk, hyuk; however, it does leave me inclined to agree with your doctor that it seems like you're doing too much...

Re: Oh yes, of course I'm a nosey bitch --

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I wonder what ya' got for BC!

I'll let her tell you. ;->

[zero-gravity.livejournal.com]

gods above and below,
you get so much done i am exhausted knowing it.
impressive. :)

gee, i wonder why your doc thinks you are doing too much

doing the do

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I think I'm a little hyper because we're leaving for England in a couple of days and I'm realizing how much stuff I meant to have done before I left.

That and L. announced that she wants to put the house on the market next month. Uh. hello? There is at least a good two months worth of work needed to make this place even half-way presentable. So I'm doing what I always do when I'm stressed -- jump in and start organizing things.

Re: doing the do

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

If L. is so gung-ho about putting the house on the market next month, shouldn't she be the one doing the lion's share of the work and organizing, especially considering that you're still recovering from surgery?

Or am I just being far too reasonable again? ;)

Re: doing the do

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Have you met L.?

Re: doing the do

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

*smacks self on forehead*

Right!

Sorry, the logical part of my brain was doing the thinking for me again.

Re: doing the do

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

*laugh*

Well to be fair -- she does have a full-time job at the moment.

The main kvetch for me is that alot of this stuff has been sitting around waiting for somebody to deal with it for years and now we are scrambling to get caught up. (Basic communication-style problems, I think. When L. says, "I'm thinking of doing something with the basement", bcholmes and I both agree and then think, "Great! One thing I don't have to worry about." expecting that one day we'll just come home to find men with hardhats wandering around in the kitchen and leaving the toilet seat up. Whereas what she really means is, "I think the three of us need to get together to do something" and since everybody else does exactly zero towards it, she feels like a decision to go forth has never really been made.

Or at least that's what I'm guessing.)

And, um. She painted the mantlepiece.

Re: doing the do

[baratron.livejournal.com]

You are? So why don't I know anything about this? :D

Re: doing the do

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

I'm going to Whitby. Any chance you will be there?