the graceful exit

[the_siobhan]

Something I was thinking about today.

(It involves death & suicide so take note if those things disturb you.)

Most of the people I know are sympathetic to the idea that a person has the right to end their life under certain conditions. The typical scenario being where one has a fatal illness such as cancer, where all medical options have been exhausted and when the quality of life can no longer be maintained in a way that the individual finds meaningful. In fact a number of people have told me that they plan to commit suicide if they ever find themselves in such a situation, preferably before they are completely incapacitated by pain and physical deterioration.

I can't say if this is typical of society at large, but most of the people I interact with don't have a problem with that.

So why do so many people have the exact opposite reaction when it comes to mental illness?

I was thinking about the friends I have lost to suicide over the years. In a couple of cases it was well known that they suffered horribly from depression that was resistant to all medical intervention. They struggled for years, decades. And when they finally gave up, their friends were all furious with them.

I don't really get the difference between the two reactions. Giving up on an incurable painful illness that impacts the body is obviously being measured on a different scale than giving up on an incurable painful illness that impacts the mind. And I don't really get why. (I get why people would put them on a different scale when it comes to making the decision for themselves, it's their friends' reactions that I'm quizzing.)

Anybody think they can explain the thought process there?


NOTE: Not considering suicide as an option for me. Just in case anybody misunderstands the purpose of this conversation.

Comments

[jo]

Maybe it's because people who don't suffer from mental illness can't really grasp just how horrible it is. We (as in society) use the term depression too lightly - as in people will say "oh i'm so depressed about ..." when what they really mean is they're just down. And they get over that. So they figure someone who is actually depressed will eventually, you know, get over it. Or they just need to try harder to get over it.

Jon's gone through some really black periods where he was suicidal, and I could see what it was doing to him, and I knew it was real, but I still don't understand what it's like in his head when that happens. And even though I know it's real and not just him being melodramatic, there is still this little part of my brain that says "FFS - snap out of it already". Terminal illness we can understand. Mental illness, if you don't suffer from it, you can't really. We can imagine ourselves being told we have 8 months to live or whatever - we can't even begin to imagine what any serious mental illness is like to live with day in and day out.

[greylock]

So why do so many people have the exact opposite reaction when it comes to mental illness?

Because it's not really-real. Obviously.
But seriously, it doesn't kill physically. It might incapacitate, but it doesn't kill in the same way. It can be dealt with more often than not, or coped with, and most of the time you can keep on truckin' most of the time.

And when they finally gave up, their friends were all furious with them.
I suppose euthanasia, and I am down with the fury. I can't explain why.

Not considering suicide as an option for me.
Good. I would miss you.

[the_siobhan]

I'm specifically excluding depression mild enough to be coped with or dealt with.