It starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes, an aeroplane, Lenny Bruce is not afraid

[the_siobhan]

A couple of weeks ago I said to BC, "You know, as an extreme introvert with social anxiety and a mild case of vertigo-induced agoraphobia, I am probably uniquely qualified to manage an extended quarantine without any negative repercussions."

That may have been a slight exaggeration. I mean I definitely have some Feelings going on around the fact that this is happening exactly a year after Darrell died from the flu. You know, a respiratory virus that we actually have a vaccine for that large numbers of people won't actually vaccinate themselves against. But I'm pretty sure I'd be having Feelings regardless of the existence of the current plague, so. You know.

I could also really do without my friends and family getting sick. So if the universe could just jot that one down, I'd really appreciate it.

**

I am still employed, working, and earning income. Axel is making more money not being able to work than he did when he was working in the "gig economy". Capitalism is so broken.

**

The 1.5 hours per day I used to spend commuting is now spent exercising instead. Which is awesome for my serotonin levels. After years of not really leaving my house I suddenly feel like I have all the spoons and energy needed to be able to go out and spend time with people I miss.

Irony, no?

The corollary to that is that commuting time used to be when I did my reading and Spanish lessons, so I basically haven't touched them in a month. Not sure how to slot them back in. Maybe when the executor shit is done with.

I also decided to try my hand at growing vegetables from seeds and it's practically a Stephen King short story in here, WHERE DID ALL THE GREEN SHIT COME FROM I have never been able to keep a plant alive for more than a couple of weeks in my life before and now I am drowning in the damn things. I'm going to start putting extra plants in the Free Library because there is no way my backyard has room for all this. I honestly expected half of them to die before taking over my entire house.

**

None of my work has actually gone away, everything is just harder and takes longer. I have had to un-sub from a couple of mailing lists who kept sending me chirpy "Things to do while you're bored!" emails. (I'm looking at you NaNoWriMo.) Not surprisingly I don't react well to the message that everybody in the world is on vacation except me, regardless of how bullshit I know it is.

**

Hangin' in there. Hoping you are too.

Comments

[greylock]

I thought I was uniquely place to cope too. And I am doing okay.
But I hugged my BFF today, because I needed human contact. We were also tipsy.

I am still employed, working, and earning income. Axel is making more money not being able to work than he did when he was working in the "gig economy".

I'm working too, but waiting for the hammer to drop. What was Axel doing?

Capitalism is so broken.
SHOCK!

WHERE DID ALL THE GREEN SHIT COME FROM I have never been able to keep a plant alive for more than a couple of weeks in my life before and now I am drowning in the damn things

Jealous, but you are going into a northern spring, so have timed it well.

[the_siobhan]

He was doing bicycle deliveries. Which potentially brings him into contact with multiple people per day, and given that he lives with two people in high-risk categories, that was a no-go.

[greylock]

Yeah, that's not ideal.

There roads here are filthy with ubereats and the like at the moment.

Stay safe.

[nicklausse]

Similar here. Outside of also having slightly over-the-borderline OCD that doesn't need to get worse and also needing my one child to move to the moon (but still be in touch daily bc I do like them a lot -- it's complicated), this is an improvement. I don't like to say so bc there's a lot of suffering, but if society at large could support people experiencing precarity of health, mobility, income, inclusion, or housing all the time instead of when it suits them, that would be great.

Thoughts on deaths of last year: my sister in NY with advanced COPD died suddenly overnight in the July heat wave after spending a wonderful weekend on the Cayuga wine trail with her kids + grandkids, and now I think it was a mercy given this alternative. Not sure how I feel about thinking that. Also complicated.

Omg VEGTRUG. Home Depot will mail them from Mississauga. I want three. I ordered one.

[50ftqueenie]

Given how many "be productive!" messages are flying around right now, I find it ironic that I know exactly zero people who feel this is a vacation, enjoyable, relaxing etc.

Like you, I was reading and doing German lessons during my commute and I haven't touched either of them in weeks. I genuinely want to get back into them, but I feel mentally exhausted so much of the time.

[inulro]

While I'm not finding I have more time to read than normal, I'm actually making progress with some of the more difficult non fiction books on Mount TBR - if I'm reading on the bus and in the lunchroom, all I can read is disposable lightweight stuff. So that's something.

I'm trying to do more online socialising (because so far, one video call on Sunday has been it), but the timing is always off. It doesn't help that my friends here do a virtual bad movie night on Fridays - I don't have time to watch movies I actually *want* to see (though I've been doing something about that, and calling it productivity) so I don't bother. Also, Friday - I'm still ready to go to sleep after work even working from home.

[silentq]

Yeah, I feel like I'm barely holding it together and any extra stress will unbalance me. I don't do well with uncertainty, with threat of infection (gah, why did I have to get bronchitis for the first time right before this?), and with the near constant stream of requests from extroverts to connect! video chat! virtual dance party! watch a movie! while I'm working from home full time and trying to hermit, dammit. :-)

[tetsab]

With you on also feeling like I can do *physical distancing better than the average bear but also on the not no way, not no how of this being remotely like a vacation with my full-time (but still precarious) job, still having to keep up cooking, 4 rats and the house in general solo and the fact that I signed up for a month and a half long course back in January which started Monday (and that I still can't figure out if it's good or bad timing on!).

(*Changed from social distancing 'cause that's really more what it's all about. I'm highly connected "socially" to work things and I'm actively enjoying listening to most loads of the live streaming options on offer, particularily on weekends).

[elusis]

I am also not on vacation, and feeling kind of bent about it (although also grateful for my bank balance remaining in the black.)

[inulro]

Yes. I am only able to do part of my job from home, so some days are slower than others. A few more days like today and I'll be begging to be sent on furlough.