J is for "Just What the Hell Were You Thinking?

[the_siobhan]

Dear self,

You know pizza is going to put you in a world of pain. So why exactly, do you insist on eating it anyway?

Are you really that much of a masochist? Can't you just settle for rough sex and a red wine hangover like the rest of the world?

Go eat some more codeine you stupid, stupid woman.

Signed, the meatsuit that is currently kicking your dumb ass.

Comments

[greylock.livejournal.com]

You know pizza is going to put you in a world of pain. So why exactly, do you insist on eating it anyway?

'Cause it's yummy?

Is it lactose intolerance. I assume you've tried vegan cheese?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

It's a triple whammy. I'm Lactose intolerant. The wheat causes horrendous acid reflux. And the oil causes a massive gallbladder attack.

Yet for some reason it's the one thing I'm having trouble giving up. They must put crack in it.

[greylock.livejournal.com]

It's a triple whammy. I'm Lactose intolerant. The wheat causes horrendous acid reflux. And the oil causes a massive gallbladder attack.

Damn. I mean, sure you can swap in gluten-free/wheat-free flour for the base, vegan cheese for the cheese and seriously cut back on the oil )if you make the dough yourself), but why do I have the feeling it's not going to be that tasty a pizza?

Yet for some reason it's the one thing I'm having trouble giving up. They must put crack in it.

Indeed. I know.

[etcet.livejournal.com]

Someone in the comments on SG suggested they put drugs in pizza to make us addicted to it, or something. I kind of backed away from the crazy at that point.

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

It must be true! What else could possibly be the cause of my poor choices?

[etcet.livejournal.com]

I was just gonna echo Greylock's remark re: compelling deliciousness

I mean, that's why I eat and drink shit that I know is bad for me.

[kambriel.livejournal.com]

Hate to incur your wrath, but I do seem to remember a case where this happened back in the '80's. Trace amounts of cocaine in the sauce...

[kambriel.livejournal.com]

It was for a place called Rocky Rococo's... And the chain (at least where I lived) closed down right after that.

[beaq.livejournal.com]

NO WAY. I loved that place. (I don't really believe it, but it's fun to try to believe.)

[greylock.livejournal.com]

Now that's what I'd call special sauce.

[excess-and-oohs.livejournal.com]

i like this, if you can find it up there:

amy's gluten-free vegan pizza (http://www.godairyfree.org/Product-Reviews/Frozen-Entrees/Amy-s-Spinach-Rice-Crust-Pizza-Review-1-Vegan-Gluten-Free-Nut-Free.html)

it's not pizza pizza, but maybe it would be a good addition to rough sex & red wine. ooh. and codeine.

[xiphias.livejournal.com]

I love red wine, and rough sex.

But, y'know, if it was a choice between red wine, rough sex, and pizza . . .

Well, the red wine isn't in the running. But the other two -- it could go either way depending on how hungry and/or horny I was.

Right Then

[dali-muse.livejournal.com]

NO PIZZA FOR YOU AT CONVERGENCE!

The last thing anyone would want is to rush you to the hospital at 3:00 AM!

See you Thursday!

[inulro.livejournal.com]

I have the same deal with cheesecake. But every once in a while, if the place where we go for lunch on Saturdays has one that looks particularly good AND I don't have anything in particular to do in the afternoon, I'll have a piece anyway, and it's generally worth it.

re: J is for "Just What the Hell Were You Thinking?

[betonica.livejournal.com]

My best solution for stuff I shouldn't eat (and it's a loooong list, these days) is to have other stuff I can eat readily available. It's not perfect, but frequently does the trick. I have a pot of something on the stove at all times, that everyone who comes through the house is welcome to, and that doesn't cause me problems. Black bean soup, lentil stew, split pea soup, and a new vegetable thing I made up with a sauce that resembles thai peanut stuff (I can't do peanuts or garlic, so that was a neat trick to invent: onions and cashew butter, plus cayenne, etc - yum!).

I still seem to eat things I shouldn't more often than not, but at least it's down to much less than it was. And I can breath, which is a nice result.

You had a post a while back that I was going to respond to with recipes - but I don't remember the details. Let me know if you'd like the recipes for my two-plus-day supply of foodstuffs.

I hope you feel better soon.

Re: J is for "Just What the Hell Were You Thinking?

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

Yes please!

My food experimentation is going to commence once I get back from Convergence, but saving everything people give me.

Re: J is for "Just What the Hell Were You Thinking?

[beaq.livejournal.com]

Cashews make superb peanut sauce. :-)

FYI

[50-ft-queenie.livejournal.com]

http://www.magicoven.com/

"Our pizzas can be made to accommodate a variety of dietary concerns - we offer organic spelt pizzas, gluten-free rice flour pizzas and the option of vegan or lactose-free cheese."

Not cheap, but very tasty. For those times when you just gotta have some pizza but don't want to suffer for it.

Re: FYI

[the-siobhan.livejournal.com]

You know, we used to order from Magic Oven all the time. We stopped because we found the quality really went downhill compared to the price so we decided it wasn't worth it any more.

Now that ordinary pizza gives me World of Pain[1], I should probably revisit that.


[1]Not to be confused with House of Pain.

Re: FYI

[the_axel]

J is also for "Jump up, jump up & get down". Don't be doing that.

Re: FYI

[greylock.livejournal.com]

I know it's not quite the same (no, I have no idea what I'm going wrong - so I blame my oven because there's no possible way Dominios can make tastier pizza than me) but it's not that hard to make pizza from scratch.

It took me about 4-5 goes to find the right recipe for the flour, and there's just something so satisfying about watching it prove.

I've got it down to about 20 messy minutes now, and I make and freeze the extras for later (one batch makes about eight bases).

[ravensee.livejournal.com]

Il Fornello:

http://www.ilfornello.com/home.html


"Check out our lunch, dinner & weekend brunch menus, featuring traditional favourites & new classics. An Alternative Menu offers equally delicious gluten-, wheat- and yeast-free dishes.

IL FORNELLO was the first Ontario restaurant chain to offer locally sourced menu items either as weekly specials or as highlights on our regular menu. When you "eat locally", you not only support our local economy and sustainable farming you also help the environment as well."

My friend nights_promise, is gluten, wheat and lactose intolerant and orders pizza from there. You just have to specify your allergy, I believe.